Independent Events and Chance :
Each roll of the dice on the casino floor, every time you want to throw snake eyes in Vegas, you are hit by a little thing in probability called : Independent Events.
Independent Events refers to the fact that every time you attempt to gamble in a game of chance [i.e. chance based games as opposed to poker etc.] your chances with every attempt remain the same - the probabilistic return on a coin toss is 1/2 for a fair coin, 1/37 of 1/38 for a game of roulette and so on and so forth. Hence the word "hot-streak" is a misnomer.
Games which have no memory are the ones which cannot be beaten without an element or elements of unfair play. That's why black-jack is so different, and that's why to an extent "counting cards" in black-jack actually works - because its a memory based game.
Engineers with background in DSP : Digital Signal processing would know that signals processing is a memory based system : i.e there is an element of causality because of the interference of a signal with a channel during transmission. This memory is required to be extracted to nullify the effects of the channel : i.e. for inter-symbol interference and noise reduction.
But games of chance are just that - once a dice rolls, it rolls without caring about the past - its only statistically after rolling the dice a few hundred thousand or a million times, we can determine the actual distribution of each event and the standard deviation for the same.
Even after this, if you play craps, you have as good a chance to win on the next roll. There is still the element of "house advantage" that causes the dreaded Gambler ruin. The house advantage is not simply based on statistics of winning alone. That is, its not just the odds against the gambler at the casino. The main factor is the payout factor.
Take the two-column roulette example. Bet $13 per column, $26 total. A win nets you $12. But the odds were 26-to-12, so a bet with no house advantage would pay $12. The casino's profit comes by grabbing the $26 when you lose but forking over a lousy $12 when you win.
Casinos make money in the following ways:
1. EDGE : It's the fraction of the overall amount bet that the casino would earn if every set of decisions fell precisely into statistical line. So theoretically, they could do worse or better in a short period of time, but remember, this is a statistical average, not an intstantaneous prop!
Consider the two-column roulette bet again. In 38 spins, the house expects to win 12 rounds at $26 each for $312 in all, and to lose 26 rounds at $10 each for a total of $260. The total bet would be $26 x 38 or $988 while theoretical "take" is $312 - $260 or $52. The edge is $52 divided by $988 or 5.26 percent. A particular series of 38 rounds may not give the casino 24 wins and 14 losses. But, over 1000's of such throws and the house can haul their 5.26 percent to the bank in humvee-limos :-) : Do the math!
2. Return % : It is the very opposite of EDGE, and relates to the amount that the owner is going to get back on his investement in a % term of course. Here to you could weigh in how much you would make over 10's or 100's of pulls of the slot machine lever. This is for the casinos to figure out the money thats going to be drained out of their enormous pockets.
US Government stipulation ensures that the machines that people muck around with actually have a chance of giving a return on their hard earned quarters. But that's a pittance compared to what the casino stiffs you for.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Beating Las Vegas : The Gambler's ruin & Winning Strategy
People head out to Vegas with often elaborate schemes to beat the house at a game of black-jack or roulette. Other card games like poker involve a certain degree of understanding of the game's nuances and are not a pure guessing game.
The Gambler's ruin is a true and hard fact buttressed by probabilistic evidence.
Let two players each have a finite number of coins (say, n_1 for player one and n_2 for player two). Now, flip one of the coins (from either player), with each player having 50% probability of winning, and transfer a coin from the loser to the winner. Now repeat the process until one player has all the pennies.
If the process is repeated indefinitely, the probability that one of the two player will eventually lose all his pennies must be 100%. In fact, the chances P_1 and P_2 that players one and two, respectively, will be rendered bankrupt are
P_1 = (n_2)/(n_1+n_2)
(1)
P_2 = (n_1)/(n_1+n_2),
(2)
i.e., your chances of going bankrupt are equal to the ratio of coins your opponent starts out to the total number of pennies.
Therefore, the player starting out with the smallest number of coins has the greatest chance of going bankrupt. Even with equal odds, the longer you gamble, the greater the chance that the player starting out with the most coins wins. Since casinos have more coins than the gamblers, this principle allows casinos to always come out ahead in the long run. And the common practice of playing games with odds skewed in favor of the house makes this outcome just that much quicker.
Its an interesting argument. Your lucky streak is a terminal short-run phase. The longer you stay in a winning streak the less likely you are to cash out. Hence the moment you hit a jackpot, make for the cash counters, because its not going to last.
The analysis above however states that there are games which are "skewed in favor of the house". If they aren't of course, the casino doesn't make much money now does it - but the question is how does any advantage truly convert itself into "house advantage" - as with two players who have no prior knowledge a priori on the true outcome of every event, and with the expectation that the game itself is player in a fair and unbiased manner how could the house hold the upper hand in a game?
The only way then for a Gambler to beat the house without cheating is to
1. Have some sort of advantage in the game, with the game having an inbuilt bias towards the gambler
2. Have more money bankrolled than the casino and expect that in a truly unbiased and fair contest the casino gets bankrupt in the longest run. This of course does not consider the fact that casinos can close the table if they are losing a lot of money, to protect their own interests, since the gambler too is given a chance to walk away with his profit/loss.
In games where the possible set of sample points are large - even if the payout is unimaginably large, the playing field truly screws the gambler for all his money. This is because his chance of hitting it are speciously low, while the payout for the house is a zero sum game. In 38 holes in roulette for example, its possible that the house pays out 34 to 35 times the original amount, while is still a little less than what the house would make whenever it wins - and it would wild 37/38 times.
Very simply put - if you are consistent in your choice each time - your chance of winning is 1 - (37/38)^n - the longer you stay in the better your chances, and depending on how much money you stake, and when the roulette wheel averages out, your payout will cause you that much ruin.
If the house sets a minimum and maximum bet limit, statistically it can never lose money. For the gambler the odds are always 1/38. For house its always 1/38. This is because each spin is a new spin.
One interesting betting system is the Martingale betting system :
The simplest of these strategies was designed for a game in which the gambler wins his stake if a coin comes up heads and loses it if the coin comes up tails. The strategy had the gambler double his bet after every loss, so that the first win would recover all previous losses plus win a profit equal to the original stake. Since a gambler with infinite wealth will with probability 1 eventually flip heads, the Martingale betting strategy was seen as a sure thing by those who practised it. Of course, none of these practitioners in fact possessed infinite wealth, and the exponential growth of the bets would eventually bankrupt those who choose to use the Martingale.
Hence if you bet x to win >= x, this strategy doesn't seem bad, if the probability of you winning atleast x is a good shot - i.e. you are not unduly biased in losing with respect to the house. Else the Martingale, in my opinion, just doesn't work, when you don't have much of a shot. Since your betting amount doubles each time, it doesn't take too long until you go bankrupt - since your losses mount like crazy. Also the payout amount isn't anything special, you only end up with x at the end of your Martingale run.
Beating the house seems a plausible option iff the game gives the house no more than a 50% chance at winning - and the gambler has a decent enough bankroll, and house doesn't set too high of a limit to wager a bet. The payout is obviously proportional to the amount dropped in, but the odds act solely a multiplier of the initial wager. Winning against the house is never a foolproof strategy, and that's why you have so many people at the slot machines in casinos in Vegas. You might as well lose your $ in quarters than risk it all at the blackjack dealer.
The Gambler's ruin is a true and hard fact buttressed by probabilistic evidence.
Let two players each have a finite number of coins (say, n_1 for player one and n_2 for player two). Now, flip one of the coins (from either player), with each player having 50% probability of winning, and transfer a coin from the loser to the winner. Now repeat the process until one player has all the pennies.
If the process is repeated indefinitely, the probability that one of the two player will eventually lose all his pennies must be 100%. In fact, the chances P_1 and P_2 that players one and two, respectively, will be rendered bankrupt are
P_1 = (n_2)/(n_1+n_2)
(1)
P_2 = (n_1)/(n_1+n_2),
(2)
i.e., your chances of going bankrupt are equal to the ratio of coins your opponent starts out to the total number of pennies.
Therefore, the player starting out with the smallest number of coins has the greatest chance of going bankrupt. Even with equal odds, the longer you gamble, the greater the chance that the player starting out with the most coins wins. Since casinos have more coins than the gamblers, this principle allows casinos to always come out ahead in the long run. And the common practice of playing games with odds skewed in favor of the house makes this outcome just that much quicker.
Its an interesting argument. Your lucky streak is a terminal short-run phase. The longer you stay in a winning streak the less likely you are to cash out. Hence the moment you hit a jackpot, make for the cash counters, because its not going to last.
The analysis above however states that there are games which are "skewed in favor of the house". If they aren't of course, the casino doesn't make much money now does it - but the question is how does any advantage truly convert itself into "house advantage" - as with two players who have no prior knowledge a priori on the true outcome of every event, and with the expectation that the game itself is player in a fair and unbiased manner how could the house hold the upper hand in a game?
The only way then for a Gambler to beat the house without cheating is to
1. Have some sort of advantage in the game, with the game having an inbuilt bias towards the gambler
2. Have more money bankrolled than the casino and expect that in a truly unbiased and fair contest the casino gets bankrupt in the longest run. This of course does not consider the fact that casinos can close the table if they are losing a lot of money, to protect their own interests, since the gambler too is given a chance to walk away with his profit/loss.
In games where the possible set of sample points are large - even if the payout is unimaginably large, the playing field truly screws the gambler for all his money. This is because his chance of hitting it are speciously low, while the payout for the house is a zero sum game. In 38 holes in roulette for example, its possible that the house pays out 34 to 35 times the original amount, while is still a little less than what the house would make whenever it wins - and it would wild 37/38 times.
Very simply put - if you are consistent in your choice each time - your chance of winning is 1 - (37/38)^n - the longer you stay in the better your chances, and depending on how much money you stake, and when the roulette wheel averages out, your payout will cause you that much ruin.
If the house sets a minimum and maximum bet limit, statistically it can never lose money. For the gambler the odds are always 1/38. For house its always 1/38. This is because each spin is a new spin.
One interesting betting system is the Martingale betting system :
The simplest of these strategies was designed for a game in which the gambler wins his stake if a coin comes up heads and loses it if the coin comes up tails. The strategy had the gambler double his bet after every loss, so that the first win would recover all previous losses plus win a profit equal to the original stake. Since a gambler with infinite wealth will with probability 1 eventually flip heads, the Martingale betting strategy was seen as a sure thing by those who practised it. Of course, none of these practitioners in fact possessed infinite wealth, and the exponential growth of the bets would eventually bankrupt those who choose to use the Martingale.
Hence if you bet x to win >= x, this strategy doesn't seem bad, if the probability of you winning atleast x is a good shot - i.e. you are not unduly biased in losing with respect to the house. Else the Martingale, in my opinion, just doesn't work, when you don't have much of a shot. Since your betting amount doubles each time, it doesn't take too long until you go bankrupt - since your losses mount like crazy. Also the payout amount isn't anything special, you only end up with x at the end of your Martingale run.
Beating the house seems a plausible option iff the game gives the house no more than a 50% chance at winning - and the gambler has a decent enough bankroll, and house doesn't set too high of a limit to wager a bet. The payout is obviously proportional to the amount dropped in, but the odds act solely a multiplier of the initial wager. Winning against the house is never a foolproof strategy, and that's why you have so many people at the slot machines in casinos in Vegas. You might as well lose your $ in quarters than risk it all at the blackjack dealer.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Discontinuing the Cynic's Window Temporarily
This blog is getting a little too hot for me to handle with my current commitments.
I am temporarily pulling the shutters down on "Cynics Window to the World".
I will resume posting on this blog probably sometime around Christmas or early next decade.
At this moment all I can say is :
I am temporarily pulling the shutters down on "Cynics Window to the World".
I will resume posting on this blog probably sometime around Christmas or early next decade.
At this moment all I can say is :
Saturday, July 25, 2009
India's Giant step into R&D
There are over a million articles written over Outsourcing and still a million more which exhort developing economies in Asia to move away from what in the West is perceived as low-cost labor to more exhausting and lucrative R&D work. William Gates Junior exhorted Indian companies to do the same during a recent interview.
Seeds of R&D in India
To give an example Texas Instruments started a development centre back in the mid-80's when India couldn't tell silicon chips from potato chips, and even as we are stuck in 2009, in the cusp of ever man, woman, and child owning a cellular phone, India does not have a silicon fabricating facility, period. The fact of the matter is the quality and quantity of work that has been outsourced is multi-pronged. To say there is no R&D work done in India would be a complete fallacy. However, it is a fact that we talk about MNCs setting up R&D facilities in India to hire fresh graduates out of the IITs and NITs in a bid to both get them to work on developmental projects rather than research in the word R&D - if you are looking for outputs from pure academic research as well, India is probably a few centuries behind America, where the Academic-Industry partnership is very strong. Some of the major funders of science and technological innovation in that country are the NSF, and the Armed Forces, alongwith NASA and of course the IBM's and the GE's.
Crossing the chasm
India has on account of grinding poverty and being young as a nation skipped several crucial steps into building itself in the way the US has. What has happened is, we've skipped the stage of landline phones and moved into cellular phones, we've skipped an entire generation of desktops and moved into laptops and netbooks, we've moved away from wireline services and moved into the digital internet. India definitely has good institutions partly thanks to the initial planning comissions and their utopian goals to solve India's problems, so atleast on paper we could emulate our Western counterparts.
IP enforcement
Westerners who understand the concept of Intellectual Property find it extremely painful to explain such concepts to their poorer counterparts in Asia. At least in India IP protection has in some form both help and infringement-related enforcement, mostly due to pressure from companies that want them enforced. Most of these companies are not Indian. Thankfully we don't have the RIAA and its draconian lawyers, knocking down our doors for illegally downloading music. Piracy bites India in a big way, but unfortunately if you are going to charge exorbitant amounts for music it will probably never sell, and neither will the movie, atleast in India. Promoters and movie producers would be a little kinder with music piracy than they would with movie piracy. We don't have movies run more than a month anymore, and the money they make from the multiplexes in those 30 days can make or break a production house. It needs the protection of the Indian Government. Chinese IP protection on the other hand is horrendous. You get snazzed up i-phones which are cheaper and better than the OEM's, you get phones without IMEI numbers lining up streets in Connaught Place to Chor Bazaar, its an unhealthy and dangerous trend for the world to put up with. Plus Chinese authorities do not or will not understand and enforce intellectual property infringement regulation, of which I am to understand there aren't many.
Why R&D isn't too bad for India
India as an R&D hub would suit Indian mentalities as well - we are a nation which likes to have our food simmered rather than straight off the microwave. However I see some large bottlenecks in the emergence of India as an R&D hub on its own two feet. We have companies which race each other to the bottom in competing for crummy projects. There is no onus to develop a solution, but to provide one for a problem at hand. And this is generally done with the help of 20-somethings fresh out of college, and the projects are again manned by 20-somethings who went through the same grind. There is no scope for excellence, but the onus is on getting the job done, and adding a little sliver to the company bottom line in $-to-Rupee terms.
Pure research works involves a large degree of risk taking and the ability to bounce back if there are no large tangible rewards. In the product development arena, the money that you can get back in return is enormous.
Indian companies primarily are not cut out to work as R&D organizations in the current forms. This is because of the purported hierarchical structures, and massive egos which come into play while executing work of this sort. Homegrown governmental organizations like the HAL, DRDO, ISRO have done well but the number of failures not in public domain would be quite appalling. Indian companies would need a massive organizational thinking to be able to execute a product development initiative. However, its not so much in the execution but also in the marketing and salesmanship of such a product that would affect its future. Brand India is not as big as a 2nd grade East European name, on account of the constant compromise Indian companies makes on the quality of its products made for domestic and foreign consumption - you can even see this in the IT sector with companies very often having problems in their requirements not being met, and this doesn't reflect too well on us. There is no brand equity in brand India for any potential buyers to buy into, but of course things are changing as more and more companies - albiet not Indian - set up R&D facilities in India.
But the basic issues need to be addressed for Indian companies to take a leaf out of. We need to be more serious about time management and quality, and try to pick up these things from the Japanese for their impeccable professional behavior in this regard. If we wish to be taken seriously for what we do, we need to pay serious respect to who we sell our goods to.
Seeds of R&D in India
To give an example Texas Instruments started a development centre back in the mid-80's when India couldn't tell silicon chips from potato chips, and even as we are stuck in 2009, in the cusp of ever man, woman, and child owning a cellular phone, India does not have a silicon fabricating facility, period. The fact of the matter is the quality and quantity of work that has been outsourced is multi-pronged. To say there is no R&D work done in India would be a complete fallacy. However, it is a fact that we talk about MNCs setting up R&D facilities in India to hire fresh graduates out of the IITs and NITs in a bid to both get them to work on developmental projects rather than research in the word R&D - if you are looking for outputs from pure academic research as well, India is probably a few centuries behind America, where the Academic-Industry partnership is very strong. Some of the major funders of science and technological innovation in that country are the NSF, and the Armed Forces, alongwith NASA and of course the IBM's and the GE's.
Crossing the chasm
India has on account of grinding poverty and being young as a nation skipped several crucial steps into building itself in the way the US has. What has happened is, we've skipped the stage of landline phones and moved into cellular phones, we've skipped an entire generation of desktops and moved into laptops and netbooks, we've moved away from wireline services and moved into the digital internet. India definitely has good institutions partly thanks to the initial planning comissions and their utopian goals to solve India's problems, so atleast on paper we could emulate our Western counterparts.
IP enforcement
Westerners who understand the concept of Intellectual Property find it extremely painful to explain such concepts to their poorer counterparts in Asia. At least in India IP protection has in some form both help and infringement-related enforcement, mostly due to pressure from companies that want them enforced. Most of these companies are not Indian. Thankfully we don't have the RIAA and its draconian lawyers, knocking down our doors for illegally downloading music. Piracy bites India in a big way, but unfortunately if you are going to charge exorbitant amounts for music it will probably never sell, and neither will the movie, atleast in India. Promoters and movie producers would be a little kinder with music piracy than they would with movie piracy. We don't have movies run more than a month anymore, and the money they make from the multiplexes in those 30 days can make or break a production house. It needs the protection of the Indian Government. Chinese IP protection on the other hand is horrendous. You get snazzed up i-phones which are cheaper and better than the OEM's, you get phones without IMEI numbers lining up streets in Connaught Place to Chor Bazaar, its an unhealthy and dangerous trend for the world to put up with. Plus Chinese authorities do not or will not understand and enforce intellectual property infringement regulation, of which I am to understand there aren't many.
Why R&D isn't too bad for India
India as an R&D hub would suit Indian mentalities as well - we are a nation which likes to have our food simmered rather than straight off the microwave. However I see some large bottlenecks in the emergence of India as an R&D hub on its own two feet. We have companies which race each other to the bottom in competing for crummy projects. There is no onus to develop a solution, but to provide one for a problem at hand. And this is generally done with the help of 20-somethings fresh out of college, and the projects are again manned by 20-somethings who went through the same grind. There is no scope for excellence, but the onus is on getting the job done, and adding a little sliver to the company bottom line in $-to-Rupee terms.
Pure research works involves a large degree of risk taking and the ability to bounce back if there are no large tangible rewards. In the product development arena, the money that you can get back in return is enormous.
Indian companies primarily are not cut out to work as R&D organizations in the current forms. This is because of the purported hierarchical structures, and massive egos which come into play while executing work of this sort. Homegrown governmental organizations like the HAL, DRDO, ISRO have done well but the number of failures not in public domain would be quite appalling. Indian companies would need a massive organizational thinking to be able to execute a product development initiative. However, its not so much in the execution but also in the marketing and salesmanship of such a product that would affect its future. Brand India is not as big as a 2nd grade East European name, on account of the constant compromise Indian companies makes on the quality of its products made for domestic and foreign consumption - you can even see this in the IT sector with companies very often having problems in their requirements not being met, and this doesn't reflect too well on us. There is no brand equity in brand India for any potential buyers to buy into, but of course things are changing as more and more companies - albiet not Indian - set up R&D facilities in India.
But the basic issues need to be addressed for Indian companies to take a leaf out of. We need to be more serious about time management and quality, and try to pick up these things from the Japanese for their impeccable professional behavior in this regard. If we wish to be taken seriously for what we do, we need to pay serious respect to who we sell our goods to.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Hand on Cheek
The MP tours his constituency
Surrounded by sycophantic drones
Was pissed by a bank manager
Who wasn't dispersing friendly loans
Quoth he:
"They press my arms and legs
They bring me my tea
How come you don't dispense loans
To folks who are SC and ST?"
Upon which the manager [supposedly]
Opened up his canteena flask
"Bugger off MP" he sipped & said,
"Welfarism just ain't my task!"
Furious was the MP,
Whose writ had been ditched
So he went ballistic on the manager
And slapped him like a bitch
But when the public demanded answers
The MP went meek
"All I ever wanted" claimed the MP
"Was to caress his soft cheek"
Somehow it seemed all-right
Since the repeal of article 377
That the MP would tug another's cheek
And send him straight to gay heaven!
Other arguments by the MP to make a press statement but were weeded out :
1. I just wanted to say : Coochie Coo!
2. I just wanted to tug his cheeks and say : Chooo Chweeeeet!
3. His cheek repeatedly hit my outstretched hand! He hit me! I am the victim!
4. I have split personality disorder. My alter-ego is Harbhajan Singh.
5. What do you mean he is not Ramalinga Raju?
6. I just wanted to show that the man has a lot of cheek!
Surrounded by sycophantic drones
Was pissed by a bank manager
Who wasn't dispersing friendly loans
Quoth he:
"They press my arms and legs
They bring me my tea
How come you don't dispense loans
To folks who are SC and ST?"
Upon which the manager [supposedly]
Opened up his canteena flask
"Bugger off MP" he sipped & said,
"Welfarism just ain't my task!"
Furious was the MP,
Whose writ had been ditched
So he went ballistic on the manager
And slapped him like a bitch
But when the public demanded answers
The MP went meek
"All I ever wanted" claimed the MP
"Was to caress his soft cheek"
Somehow it seemed all-right
Since the repeal of article 377
That the MP would tug another's cheek
And send him straight to gay heaven!
Other arguments by the MP to make a press statement but were weeded out :
1. I just wanted to say : Coochie Coo!
2. I just wanted to tug his cheeks and say : Chooo Chweeeeet!
3. His cheek repeatedly hit my outstretched hand! He hit me! I am the victim!
4. I have split personality disorder. My alter-ego is Harbhajan Singh.
5. What do you mean he is not Ramalinga Raju?
6. I just wanted to show that the man has a lot of cheek!
Monday, June 29, 2009
The six blind men of Hindustan
Perecption and points of view vary from individual to individual.
We had a poem about this topic in my school English text-book.
I am reproducing this poem, of course, I claim no credit for it - and I hope to have credited the person correctly at the end of his/her poem...
Here goes :
The Blind Men and the Elephant
Key Ideas: Hindu, respecting difference
It was six men of Hindostan,
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the elephant
(Though all of them were blind);
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The first approached the elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl,
"Bless me, it seems the elephant
Is very like a wall."
The second, feeling of his tusk,
Cried, "Ho! What have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me, 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an elephant
Is very like a spear."
The third approached the animal
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands
Then boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the elephant
Is very like a snake."
The fourth stretched out his eager hand
And felt about the knee,
"What most this mighty beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
" 'Tis clear enough the elephant
Is very like a tree."
He fifth who chanced to touch the ear
Said, "Even the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an elephant
Is very like a fan."
The sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," cried he, "the elephant
Is very like a rope."
And so these men of Hindostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each of his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)
We had a poem about this topic in my school English text-book.
I am reproducing this poem, of course, I claim no credit for it - and I hope to have credited the person correctly at the end of his/her poem...
Here goes :
The Blind Men and the Elephant
Key Ideas: Hindu, respecting difference
It was six men of Hindostan,
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the elephant
(Though all of them were blind);
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The first approached the elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl,
"Bless me, it seems the elephant
Is very like a wall."
The second, feeling of his tusk,
Cried, "Ho! What have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me, 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an elephant
Is very like a spear."
The third approached the animal
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands
Then boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the elephant
Is very like a snake."
The fourth stretched out his eager hand
And felt about the knee,
"What most this mighty beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
" 'Tis clear enough the elephant
Is very like a tree."
He fifth who chanced to touch the ear
Said, "Even the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an elephant
Is very like a fan."
The sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," cried he, "the elephant
Is very like a rope."
And so these men of Hindostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each of his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)
Saturday, June 27, 2009
RIP MJ & Thank you for the Music!
Three generations swung to his music.
Three generations saw a dancer like nobody else.
He crooned with energy that a 100 strong men could not have mustered. Yes, he was not just just a once in a generation performer, he was also the performer of the past century. Some people might throw in names like the Beatles, or even Elvis - no disrespect - none of them had $%^t of this guy.
He left them all behind with his cool moves, and a singing style that made it hard to decipher words, but you know what - people never really cared about what he was really singing about : It could have been about ghosts ghouls and goblins [as in Thriller] or it was about something touching [I'll be there] or it could be the raunchy seductive. His amazing singing skills were on display primarily as a child artiste. But if you want to know a man who was born to rule the mother of all stages of the world, then it was MJ.
Whaddaman, the ultimate performer.
Hhe could sing in that amazing voice, he could moon walk, and then stand on his toes.
His live shows could only be described at 2 hours of continuous adrenaline pumping through his veins. This man cut across so many geographical borders, that I wont have any trouble believing that even people in far flung North Korea, Ulan-Bator, Swaziland or Peru would have trouble connecting with this man - his music and his novel dance moves. Heck even my dad knows a few of his songs, so universal is his appeal!
The man leaves behind a personal void for me as well. I spent some of my early years in NY before I came back to India - Michael's Thriller on LP is one of my most prized posessions [although I honestly don't know if it is still around - the cover with him lying done, and on the inside is a picture of him and a tiger. MJ's music videos were trailblazing and way ahead of his time : Even when I see some of his videos [thriller, black or white, smooth criminal, scream], I can honestly tell that modern day music-videos are flaky and made more by studio honchos and less by imaginative people.
The man screamed and "Shamon-ed" his way into our hearts and minds. His controversies may have dimished MJ the man - but MJ the artiste truly lives on. And for once a supposed child molestoer actually has my sympathies because quite frankly his father treated him and his brothers like a bunch of performing poodles.
I hope history is kind to you MJ and you've meant so much to me - as a child of the 80's. I swear : 50 years from now we can look back and say - there has since been no other and there probably never will.
I see no harm in letting my guard down and shedding a tear for you.
Since the days leading to your tragic end, I hope you've find peace at last...
Three generations saw a dancer like nobody else.
He crooned with energy that a 100 strong men could not have mustered. Yes, he was not just just a once in a generation performer, he was also the performer of the past century. Some people might throw in names like the Beatles, or even Elvis - no disrespect - none of them had $%^t of this guy.
He left them all behind with his cool moves, and a singing style that made it hard to decipher words, but you know what - people never really cared about what he was really singing about : It could have been about ghosts ghouls and goblins [as in Thriller] or it was about something touching [I'll be there] or it could be the raunchy seductive. His amazing singing skills were on display primarily as a child artiste. But if you want to know a man who was born to rule the mother of all stages of the world, then it was MJ.
Whaddaman, the ultimate performer.
Hhe could sing in that amazing voice, he could moon walk, and then stand on his toes.
His live shows could only be described at 2 hours of continuous adrenaline pumping through his veins. This man cut across so many geographical borders, that I wont have any trouble believing that even people in far flung North Korea, Ulan-Bator, Swaziland or Peru would have trouble connecting with this man - his music and his novel dance moves. Heck even my dad knows a few of his songs, so universal is his appeal!
The man leaves behind a personal void for me as well. I spent some of my early years in NY before I came back to India - Michael's Thriller on LP is one of my most prized posessions [although I honestly don't know if it is still around - the cover with him lying done, and on the inside is a picture of him and a tiger. MJ's music videos were trailblazing and way ahead of his time : Even when I see some of his videos [thriller, black or white, smooth criminal, scream], I can honestly tell that modern day music-videos are flaky and made more by studio honchos and less by imaginative people.
The man screamed and "Shamon-ed" his way into our hearts and minds. His controversies may have dimished MJ the man - but MJ the artiste truly lives on. And for once a supposed child molestoer actually has my sympathies because quite frankly his father treated him and his brothers like a bunch of performing poodles.
I hope history is kind to you MJ and you've meant so much to me - as a child of the 80's. I swear : 50 years from now we can look back and say - there has since been no other and there probably never will.
I see no harm in letting my guard down and shedding a tear for you.
Since the days leading to your tragic end, I hope you've find peace at last...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Trust
Bonds of trust
Lay cruelly mangled
In your web of lies and deceit
Whither is loyalty
When all you do is cheat
Bonds of trust
Of an Unholy alliance
What was between
Just me and you
Is now lain out for all to see
Bonds of trust
Easier broken than mended
For my wounds so deep
Are not easily forgotten
To your own you've tended
Lay cruelly mangled
In your web of lies and deceit
Whither is loyalty
When all you do is cheat
Bonds of trust
Of an Unholy alliance
What was between
Just me and you
Is now lain out for all to see
Bonds of trust
Easier broken than mended
For my wounds so deep
Are not easily forgotten
To your own you've tended
Saturday, June 20, 2009
If I were a Transformer Auto Bot
This is perhaps what I would look like
P.S the eyes are actually from a photograph of mine :-)
Friday, June 19, 2009
Pontificatory Purgatory
Sadness fills this stoic heart
Heavier it grows with every blow
Beseeching ye of soft currents
Calming, as o'er me she flows
What wounds dost thou carry
And scars of everyday
Why hurt are you by every human?
What saddens you in every way?
No more a facade of stoicness
Weathered by humbling disgrace
Wallowing bowels of self-pity
Shames ye in to your filthy place!
Now under you ye truly carry [they say]
Catharsis for thine soul
Just reach down - [a heart asundered]
No your heart won't really know
Why [does this heart] cry in sleepless nights
Whats makes thee go insane
Is this life so sad you wonder?
Is it worth living with this shame?
Turned around out of living hardship
Ye be fallen by the wayside
If living isn't living what be it be?
Anything but surviving suicide?
Heavier it grows with every blow
Beseeching ye of soft currents
Calming, as o'er me she flows
What wounds dost thou carry
And scars of everyday
Why hurt are you by every human?
What saddens you in every way?
No more a facade of stoicness
Weathered by humbling disgrace
Wallowing bowels of self-pity
Shames ye in to your filthy place!
Now under you ye truly carry [they say]
Catharsis for thine soul
Just reach down - [a heart asundered]
No your heart won't really know
Why [does this heart] cry in sleepless nights
Whats makes thee go insane
Is this life so sad you wonder?
Is it worth living with this shame?
Turned around out of living hardship
Ye be fallen by the wayside
If living isn't living what be it be?
Anything but surviving suicide?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
AUTUMN : where art thou?
The slightest breeze,
Coaxing dew-eyed buds
Out of their sleepy slumber
Dancing tulips swaying
The cool autumn zephyr
The rhythm of birds & bees
The nippy wind, the cool accent
As I walk down streets of cobblestone
Gazing into the river deep
As I stand by the bank
The autumn wind lulls me to sleep...
Coaxing dew-eyed buds
Out of their sleepy slumber
Dancing tulips swaying
The cool autumn zephyr
The rhythm of birds & bees
The nippy wind, the cool accent
As I walk down streets of cobblestone
Gazing into the river deep
As I stand by the bank
The autumn wind lulls me to sleep...
Friday, June 05, 2009
Brave Kitty
I was headed out for lunch to Chenab - its at Whitefield. Not much for the food. It was what happened when I was driving to get there. Saw a little grey kitty - leap ferociously across my car in less than a bound - and I am talking little kitty no more than 8 inches long from head to butt.
It crossed over the median and then hopped over to the other side. It dodged a bus, and a car, but somehow managed to bang its cranium into a lousy-ass slow two wheeler - it misjudged the speed of the lame-o Uncle driving it. I thought Little Kitty was done. But lo and behold in less than a second - kitty woke up, dusted itself off and was off to the other side - probably something worth Kitty risking one of its precious 9 lives to get across. Kitty surely expended 3 of its get-out-of-jail cards with that run.. Amazing... I wish I had a video of it..
It crossed over the median and then hopped over to the other side. It dodged a bus, and a car, but somehow managed to bang its cranium into a lousy-ass slow two wheeler - it misjudged the speed of the lame-o Uncle driving it. I thought Little Kitty was done. But lo and behold in less than a second - kitty woke up, dusted itself off and was off to the other side - probably something worth Kitty risking one of its precious 9 lives to get across. Kitty surely expended 3 of its get-out-of-jail cards with that run.. Amazing... I wish I had a video of it..
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Holier Than Thou
He who chants the Vedas the Loudest
Gets moksha from the Endless cycle
of Life and Death and Life again...
He who pays through his nose
To get a darshana of the Lord
Is truly blessed,
And promised a place in Heaven
He who truly wishes to gaze,
Upon the radiant face of the Lord,
Shall have to push fellow believers,
And such a one is truly blessed in afterlife
From : The Fake Bhagwad Gita, not the spoken word of Lord Krishna.
Hinduism, and in essnce followers and believers of the Hindu Holy Trinity, often realize that their "salvation" or "moksha" lies not in mass communal gatherings and prayer. It is an individualistic path one must tread in order to attain the Bhramana.
This is both a vital, as well a selfish [selfish, not in the bad sense] way or attaining spirituality, but thats the way it is ordained in Hinduism. Now with a population of 800 million of the faithful, it is a tough job giving your fellow Hindus a leg up on attaining moksha.
That simply ends up in the madness that is seen in Hindu temples all over India and especially south India. People run all over each other in an attempt to gaze at the Lord, and more over if its a special festive occassion or a special occassion based on the phase of the moon it gets doubly worse. More people have died in their attempt to break the damned cycle than ever before.
Prayer chanting at temples is supposed to be either done by the priests. What ticks me off is when people sit down in areas clearly earmarked "Dhyanam" they get their little cellular phones - which arent exactly allowed inside temples - and start playing off spiritual music. And also, keep the mantra chanting to yourself, or in the vicinity of your home. Rigorous vedic chanting once in a few months in the temple is not going to give you and vimochana - except it might add to your bad karma from all the curses you'd get from the people around you. Please leave your Holier than thou attitude at home. We are all here to pray, some a little, some a little more - lets not rub it in to each other's faces!
Hinduism's curious case of leaving each to his own creates a spiritual rat race we see in temples all over India. The amount of money these temples make is unbelievable, and the followers are utterly oblivious as to who lines their pockets with the gold and money - the amount if put directly to charity can do a lot of good. Temples do function as charitable trusts, but the question of accountability still remains. Seeing the conditions in which most temples are kept, it is pretty clear absolutely nothing goes into their maintenance.
Clearly these people want you to attain spirituality, by giving away all your worldly posessions to them. Sounds like a scam!
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Wonder Years
I was watching one of the umpteen re-runs of the Wonder Years one evening. And I thought to myself - if as a kid growing up in the halycon socialist days of yesteryear India, I were to make a movie/tele-serial on my life how would it pan out to be?
Aaah, the 80's - the decade in which I was born into - the decade that had Cyndi Lauper's she-bopping minus Hanson's umm-bopping - what a decade of cultural upheavel - a decade that bridged the divide between the uber cool swinging' 70's and the uber-modern 90's [we had cable TV for chrissakes!]. The decade where if you wanted the answer to a question you turned up to your dad or mom and asked : Where do babies come from? or When was the International Labor Organization founded? Sadly you parents weren't exactly wise to answer either question, and after some humming and hawing they bought you one of those "General Knowledge 1987" books - books on current issues and event? Don't we call that a www.cnn.com ticker these days?
Those days growing up were tough. No TV and definitely no internet. The TV was a queer thing - we had a TV which had 16 channels - 15 actually, and one earmarked for the VCR. The remote control used to weigh a brick and very often my brother or I have used it to give each other concussions during our numerous fights. My VCR had a remote too - except instead of working on Infra-red, it was actually a wire connected to a VCR port - wow! That was really lame.
In the 80's all technology was smuggled and/or purchased from "Foreign" - which was code word for Dubai or Singapore or the US of A. Customs officers had all the time on their slovenly hands to emasculate anyone who brought in a piece of technology : it didn't even matter if it were a 2-ex-or gate or a North Korean missile muncher. As a country our govenment was socialist by profession, capitalist by confession and Stalinist by obsession. Buying anything good in those days always attracted a penalty from the Government - but that was only because nobody in India ever really paid Income Tax in those days.
So in the 80's we were Socialist [spread the poverty], and hence we had two Government authorized channels : DD1 and DD2. DD1 was more of the heavy duty stuff, usually meant for adults - occassionally if a leader died you'd know : because some nondescript Sarangi player biled his guts out on the telly. Which meant no entertainment programming for a few hours - you were forced to mourn the death of the guy! How dare you otherwise! DD2 was the yuppier of the two, and typically carried more entertainment programming - like 1 hour of ramayana per week or one hindi movie every Saturday evening - something which brought the whole nation's kitchens to a standstill, and then mahabharatha. I still re-call waiting 7 whole days for 30 mins of HE-MAN every Sunday evening. Or for that 30 mins of "Jonny Sokko and his Flying Robot" every Tuesday evening - which was a Japanese dubbed sci-fi from the late 50's and early 60's : Eastman color in all its GLORY!
DD had all the trappings of Nazi-like indoctrination when it came to programming. Usually it was under the guise of the National Film Center for Kids or some other government gobble-de-gook department whose clear mission was to teach us the virtues of sharing, and that posession of material property was evil. We had such great imports as Hungarian cartoons, Romanian puppetry, East German slapstick and other Soviet Bloc imports - if the Kremlin Politburo didn't approve of it, we couldn't see it.
I recall spending my summer holidays literally doing nothing most days except play in the mornings and evenings. The afternoons were mostly spent trying to do pansy things - like draw or paint or read comics. Sometimes my mom would pop in an old cartoon in the VCR. If I got bored, I'd swing my bat around and play pretend cricket. But the best entertainment was if my brother was around we'd fight. And then my Dad would come and beat the crap out of us for ruining his afternoon siesta. But mostly that. We weren't burdened by tuitions or coaching classes or learning or doing something that kids these days are forced into.
My life panning out as a tele-serial would suck - so would any kid who'd grown up with me in the miserable and god-awful decade called the 80's.
Well, all it does it makes me appreciate what I have today.
Aaah, the 80's - the decade in which I was born into - the decade that had Cyndi Lauper's she-bopping minus Hanson's umm-bopping - what a decade of cultural upheavel - a decade that bridged the divide between the uber cool swinging' 70's and the uber-modern 90's [we had cable TV for chrissakes!]. The decade where if you wanted the answer to a question you turned up to your dad or mom and asked : Where do babies come from? or When was the International Labor Organization founded? Sadly you parents weren't exactly wise to answer either question, and after some humming and hawing they bought you one of those "General Knowledge 1987" books - books on current issues and event? Don't we call that a www.cnn.com ticker these days?
Those days growing up were tough. No TV and definitely no internet. The TV was a queer thing - we had a TV which had 16 channels - 15 actually, and one earmarked for the VCR. The remote control used to weigh a brick and very often my brother or I have used it to give each other concussions during our numerous fights. My VCR had a remote too - except instead of working on Infra-red, it was actually a wire connected to a VCR port - wow! That was really lame.
In the 80's all technology was smuggled and/or purchased from "Foreign" - which was code word for Dubai or Singapore or the US of A. Customs officers had all the time on their slovenly hands to emasculate anyone who brought in a piece of technology : it didn't even matter if it were a 2-ex-or gate or a North Korean missile muncher. As a country our govenment was socialist by profession, capitalist by confession and Stalinist by obsession. Buying anything good in those days always attracted a penalty from the Government - but that was only because nobody in India ever really paid Income Tax in those days.
So in the 80's we were Socialist [spread the poverty], and hence we had two Government authorized channels : DD1 and DD2. DD1 was more of the heavy duty stuff, usually meant for adults - occassionally if a leader died you'd know : because some nondescript Sarangi player biled his guts out on the telly. Which meant no entertainment programming for a few hours - you were forced to mourn the death of the guy! How dare you otherwise! DD2 was the yuppier of the two, and typically carried more entertainment programming - like 1 hour of ramayana per week or one hindi movie every Saturday evening - something which brought the whole nation's kitchens to a standstill, and then mahabharatha. I still re-call waiting 7 whole days for 30 mins of HE-MAN every Sunday evening. Or for that 30 mins of "Jonny Sokko and his Flying Robot" every Tuesday evening - which was a Japanese dubbed sci-fi from the late 50's and early 60's : Eastman color in all its GLORY!
DD had all the trappings of Nazi-like indoctrination when it came to programming. Usually it was under the guise of the National Film Center for Kids or some other government gobble-de-gook department whose clear mission was to teach us the virtues of sharing, and that posession of material property was evil. We had such great imports as Hungarian cartoons, Romanian puppetry, East German slapstick and other Soviet Bloc imports - if the Kremlin Politburo didn't approve of it, we couldn't see it.
I recall spending my summer holidays literally doing nothing most days except play in the mornings and evenings. The afternoons were mostly spent trying to do pansy things - like draw or paint or read comics. Sometimes my mom would pop in an old cartoon in the VCR. If I got bored, I'd swing my bat around and play pretend cricket. But the best entertainment was if my brother was around we'd fight. And then my Dad would come and beat the crap out of us for ruining his afternoon siesta. But mostly that. We weren't burdened by tuitions or coaching classes or learning or doing something that kids these days are forced into.
My life panning out as a tele-serial would suck - so would any kid who'd grown up with me in the miserable and god-awful decade called the 80's.
Well, all it does it makes me appreciate what I have today.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Good Jokes
Here are some good ones I picked off the web :
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW JEWS GOT TEN COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
The Arabs asked, " What are Commandments? Can you give us an example?"
God said, " For example ............ . Thou shall not kill."
The Arabs were shocked, "What? Not kill? No way! Killing and massacaring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence.. No, we are not interested. "
So God went to the Africans and said, " I have Commandments. "
The Africans wanted an example.
God said, "For example ........... Honor thy Father and Mother."
The Africans were dismayed. They said, " Father? Yo maan! Can't tell for sure who our fathers are, maan!"
So God went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments. "
The Mexicans wanted an example.
God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not steal."
The Mexicans were flabbergasted. They said, " No steal? No steal?? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh? Gracias, but no! "
So God went to the French and said, "I have Commandments. "
The French wanted an example.
God said, "For example ............ . Thou shall not commit adultery."
The French were stunned. They said, "What? Not commit ze adultery ....... ? Non, non, non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous. We, ze French, must have ze romance. "
So God went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments. "
The Jews asked, "Commandments? How much do they cost?"
God replied, "Nothing. They are free."
The Jews answered, "Good. We shall take Ten! "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the city of New York, a pet but vicious Rottweiler dog attacks small child. A brave soul pounces on the Rottweiler and saves the child. Soon the media and the Press are at the site and are busy interviewing this brave lad.
“See the newspaper tomorrow“ says a Press Reporter. “You will see yourself in the headlines as The Brave New Yorker saves a child from a vicious dog”
“But” says our young man “I am not a New Yorker”
“Don’t worry “ says another Press Reporter “But you will be in tomorrow’s headlines as The American saves a child from a vicious dog”
“But” says our young man “I am not an American, I am a Pakistani”
The headlines next day read
The Vicious Pakistani Attacks A Pet Dog
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW JEWS GOT TEN COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
The Arabs asked, " What are Commandments? Can you give us an example?"
God said, " For example ............ . Thou shall not kill."
The Arabs were shocked, "What? Not kill? No way! Killing and massacaring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence.. No, we are not interested. "
So God went to the Africans and said, " I have Commandments. "
The Africans wanted an example.
God said, "For example ........... Honor thy Father and Mother."
The Africans were dismayed. They said, " Father? Yo maan! Can't tell for sure who our fathers are, maan!"
So God went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments. "
The Mexicans wanted an example.
God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not steal."
The Mexicans were flabbergasted. They said, " No steal? No steal?? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh? Gracias, but no! "
So God went to the French and said, "I have Commandments. "
The French wanted an example.
God said, "For example ............ . Thou shall not commit adultery."
The French were stunned. They said, "What? Not commit ze adultery ....... ? Non, non, non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous. We, ze French, must have ze romance. "
So God went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments. "
The Jews asked, "Commandments? How much do they cost?"
God replied, "Nothing. They are free."
The Jews answered, "Good. We shall take Ten! "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the city of New York, a pet but vicious Rottweiler dog attacks small child. A brave soul pounces on the Rottweiler and saves the child. Soon the media and the Press are at the site and are busy interviewing this brave lad.
“See the newspaper tomorrow“ says a Press Reporter. “You will see yourself in the headlines as The Brave New Yorker saves a child from a vicious dog”
“But” says our young man “I am not a New Yorker”
“Don’t worry “ says another Press Reporter “But you will be in tomorrow’s headlines as The American saves a child from a vicious dog”
“But” says our young man “I am not an American, I am a Pakistani”
The headlines next day read
The Vicious Pakistani Attacks A Pet Dog
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Yeh hai Chennai, Chennai Soober Kings!
Chennai - is a wretched city. And I use the word wretched with all the love and reverence that the word doesn't deign to carry. Chennai evokes mixed emotions almost as much as Mumbai does, but I guess a few degrees less on the passion scale. No other Metropolitan city in India comes close when it comes to defining character. Kolkattans outshout but that hardly changes the truth. Delhi has few takers. Bangalore is a mosh pit. Hyderabad is like a blunt blade with the pulse of a 90 year old.
Chennai evokes hatred as much as it does appreciation - simply because no one deigns to humor the occasional north Indian who has stumbled across this weird city with as much as a schmidgen or Hindi. Athu Sellathu.. The Lingua France is Tamil, rest be damned . I just read a quote from 1959 in the Deccan yesterday which had Nedunchuzhian of the DMK saying : English should be made the language of operation all over India. 50 years later we've regressed into a Mulayam Singh wanting the abolishment of computers. Bravo Democratic India!
The CSK team seems to reflect the laid back intensity of the city. There are no people running behind buses, waiting for trains or simply in a hurry to go someplace. Everyone seems to have time to stare at the odd traffic accident, provide advice to total and complete strangers, and sometimes go forth and help people in need - it has all the essential qualities of a quaint town just with better roads and richer people. Of course there is a huge degree of indiscipline and it just frustrates you so much you could be bald with the callousness of people.
The IPL team reflects the attitude of the city. Filmy stylish, flashy but mostly chilled without a hint of pumped up intentsity and aggro. Trying to coast on hard work rather than brilliance. Watching L Balaji's run up is next only to hearing a Mercedes Engine crank up :-). And commentators and player after player acknowledge the sportsmanship of the Chennai crowd as opposed to the extremely partisan crowds elsewhere in India.
Chennai is no Mumbai - it clicks for those who want life in a little slow mo. Give me idli-vadai over zunka-bhakar anyday.
Chennai evokes hatred as much as it does appreciation - simply because no one deigns to humor the occasional north Indian who has stumbled across this weird city with as much as a schmidgen or Hindi. Athu Sellathu.. The Lingua France is Tamil, rest be damned . I just read a quote from 1959 in the Deccan yesterday which had Nedunchuzhian of the DMK saying : English should be made the language of operation all over India. 50 years later we've regressed into a Mulayam Singh wanting the abolishment of computers. Bravo Democratic India!
The CSK team seems to reflect the laid back intensity of the city. There are no people running behind buses, waiting for trains or simply in a hurry to go someplace. Everyone seems to have time to stare at the odd traffic accident, provide advice to total and complete strangers, and sometimes go forth and help people in need - it has all the essential qualities of a quaint town just with better roads and richer people. Of course there is a huge degree of indiscipline and it just frustrates you so much you could be bald with the callousness of people.
The IPL team reflects the attitude of the city. Filmy stylish, flashy but mostly chilled without a hint of pumped up intentsity and aggro. Trying to coast on hard work rather than brilliance. Watching L Balaji's run up is next only to hearing a Mercedes Engine crank up :-). And commentators and player after player acknowledge the sportsmanship of the Chennai crowd as opposed to the extremely partisan crowds elsewhere in India.
Chennai is no Mumbai - it clicks for those who want life in a little slow mo. Give me idli-vadai over zunka-bhakar anyday.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
CSK Update
Today is CSK vs the Kings XI . The Kings XI is leading an awesome fightback as I write.
I am among the legion of "fans" of the CSK team.
Today their walloping of the Punjab bowlers was a sight to behold. The more I see Suresh Raina, the more I think this kid has one awesome future and holds the key to Indian cricket in the next decade. "Stylish left-hander" is an oxymoron but just watching him pull the ball is an absolute treat [next only to watching Yuvi belt a long hop]. Matthew Hayden to me, remains the most under-rated player of the past decade. This man strikes the fear of God into bowlers, and this IPL is all about him - he has almost never failed, and it was sad seeing him get caught for 89. Sreesanth is a coward and a moron, and someone should just ban him from ever playing any competitive cricket - his send-off of Haydos who thrashed him for 20+ in that over was childish and boorish. Can we have some Match Referee intervention here?
Dhoni who has had a terrible IPL2 until the match before last, suddenly finds the best time to hit form. To me Mahi is one of those players who don't really have the god given talent of other "higher" players like Yuvraj or Sachin, but he is a one in a generation act. History is going to be kind to him in a decade from now, where he trades in the lack of pure talent for a cricketing brain that none of his gifted peers can ever come close to possessing. Which is what makes him a clear headed leader. Somehow the best leaders have been the ones lower on cricketing talent than their team mates but have the ability to gauge the game a lot better - Allan Border is one such example - not only did he inspire the great Aussie resurgance of the 90's he did so by going about his job very quitely. How is it that no one remembers him as the highest run getter in test matches, and everyone fawns over Sunil Gavaskar? Why is it that Tendulkar failed to inspire despite his fans screaming and drowning out any nay-sayers?
It just takes a little more than mere talent to lead men. Talent itself cannot inspire. True leaders are made of something else.
I am among the legion of "fans" of the CSK team.
Today their walloping of the Punjab bowlers was a sight to behold. The more I see Suresh Raina, the more I think this kid has one awesome future and holds the key to Indian cricket in the next decade. "Stylish left-hander" is an oxymoron but just watching him pull the ball is an absolute treat [next only to watching Yuvi belt a long hop]. Matthew Hayden to me, remains the most under-rated player of the past decade. This man strikes the fear of God into bowlers, and this IPL is all about him - he has almost never failed, and it was sad seeing him get caught for 89. Sreesanth is a coward and a moron, and someone should just ban him from ever playing any competitive cricket - his send-off of Haydos who thrashed him for 20+ in that over was childish and boorish. Can we have some Match Referee intervention here?
Dhoni who has had a terrible IPL2 until the match before last, suddenly finds the best time to hit form. To me Mahi is one of those players who don't really have the god given talent of other "higher" players like Yuvraj or Sachin, but he is a one in a generation act. History is going to be kind to him in a decade from now, where he trades in the lack of pure talent for a cricketing brain that none of his gifted peers can ever come close to possessing. Which is what makes him a clear headed leader. Somehow the best leaders have been the ones lower on cricketing talent than their team mates but have the ability to gauge the game a lot better - Allan Border is one such example - not only did he inspire the great Aussie resurgance of the 90's he did so by going about his job very quitely. How is it that no one remembers him as the highest run getter in test matches, and everyone fawns over Sunil Gavaskar? Why is it that Tendulkar failed to inspire despite his fans screaming and drowning out any nay-sayers?
It just takes a little more than mere talent to lead men. Talent itself cannot inspire. True leaders are made of something else.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
So the following items were of significant consequnce for the week ending 2nd May 2009
1. DK followers stone Army convoys allegedly carrying supplies for the Lankan army
MY question - who pays for the damage? The quarry was nothing but supplies and tents and chairs. Why did the drivers/jawans go on a rampage beating up both media and innocent bystanders. If criminal proceedings are in order against DK/PDK then a court marshall is in order against the jawans for not showing restraint. Or the ones who were in command of such hooliganists army personnel.
2. Ajmal Amir Muhammid Kasab/Kasav is not a minor, makes demands!
At the end of this trial, Pakistan gets a new insight into how the famed Indian justic system works. The next bunch of attacked will be brought in a few days shy of their 18th birthday, and will have certified copies of their birth certificates from
Pakistani hospitals pinned on their lapels in case, non-Inshallah one comes out alive. Then he goes straight to juvi - and comes out when he is like what 21? Oh and according to NHRC he will also get a right to vote. And mostly vote for the secular parties. And possibly contest the elections as he turns 25. Since that is necessary to reform people who have strayed from the path of Indian righteousness. Bakwaas. Someone can give ajmal some H2S04 or poison ivy in an attar bottle - let him spray himself with it.
3. Manmohan Singh says "Q" harassed enough, let him [and the Gandhi's] live in peace
Manmohan pleading on behalf of his Masterni - please leave her alone, and hence Mr. Q as well - nobody is going to do anything about this 30 year old case. The CBI has received funding for such period to work on a project and has fuelled the subsidized lives of 1000's of investigating officers, CBI heads, press-wallahs, typists and so on. Justice delayed is justic won - for the delayers.
4. Voting in Mumbai shocks propah newspapers and psephologists.
Heat isnt the cause of the Mumbai voter not coming out. Surprisingly a large part of Mumbai is slum. 70% slum. Nothing the poor ever wants gets done. The middle class would probably have voted on the same number patterns as 2004. Which just goes to show it won't take anything short of an act of God to make Indians vote int his farcical democracy.
5. Swine Flu as elusive as KKR Victory
Where is this Swine Flu? People, poultry, animals have been harassed enough. People call the flu H1N1 and not swine flu anymore. And its an over exaggerated hype coming in from WHO. It is not a pandemic if 100 people die from it - More people probably die across the world from sneezing and cracking their ribs. And according to some Indian docs, Tamiflu/Relenza are not effective in combating this strain. Makes sense to stop Americans/ Mexicans/ other affected countries from sending their crap over here. All passengers to be screened at both port of embarkment and destination. If you are sick dont travel or prepare to be deported.
Fake IPL player is more interesting than KKR combined. McCullum shows the power of binary in his scores. Ganguly shows that if he can't lead he wont bother as an individual contributor - he is taking a leaf out of MSD's book : MSD's batting is now getting on my nerves.
And CSK needs to get rid of Jacob Oram, he sucks.
1. DK followers stone Army convoys allegedly carrying supplies for the Lankan army
MY question - who pays for the damage? The quarry was nothing but supplies and tents and chairs. Why did the drivers/jawans go on a rampage beating up both media and innocent bystanders. If criminal proceedings are in order against DK/PDK then a court marshall is in order against the jawans for not showing restraint. Or the ones who were in command of such hooliganists army personnel.
2. Ajmal Amir Muhammid Kasab/Kasav is not a minor, makes demands!
At the end of this trial, Pakistan gets a new insight into how the famed Indian justic system works. The next bunch of attacked will be brought in a few days shy of their 18th birthday, and will have certified copies of their birth certificates from
Pakistani hospitals pinned on their lapels in case, non-Inshallah one comes out alive. Then he goes straight to juvi - and comes out when he is like what 21? Oh and according to NHRC he will also get a right to vote. And mostly vote for the secular parties. And possibly contest the elections as he turns 25. Since that is necessary to reform people who have strayed from the path of Indian righteousness. Bakwaas. Someone can give ajmal some H2S04 or poison ivy in an attar bottle - let him spray himself with it.
3. Manmohan Singh says "Q" harassed enough, let him [and the Gandhi's] live in peace
Manmohan pleading on behalf of his Masterni - please leave her alone, and hence Mr. Q as well - nobody is going to do anything about this 30 year old case. The CBI has received funding for such period to work on a project and has fuelled the subsidized lives of 1000's of investigating officers, CBI heads, press-wallahs, typists and so on. Justice delayed is justic won - for the delayers.
4. Voting in Mumbai shocks propah newspapers and psephologists.
Heat isnt the cause of the Mumbai voter not coming out. Surprisingly a large part of Mumbai is slum. 70% slum. Nothing the poor ever wants gets done. The middle class would probably have voted on the same number patterns as 2004. Which just goes to show it won't take anything short of an act of God to make Indians vote int his farcical democracy.
5. Swine Flu as elusive as KKR Victory
Where is this Swine Flu? People, poultry, animals have been harassed enough. People call the flu H1N1 and not swine flu anymore. And its an over exaggerated hype coming in from WHO. It is not a pandemic if 100 people die from it - More people probably die across the world from sneezing and cracking their ribs. And according to some Indian docs, Tamiflu/Relenza are not effective in combating this strain. Makes sense to stop Americans/ Mexicans/ other affected countries from sending their crap over here. All passengers to be screened at both port of embarkment and destination. If you are sick dont travel or prepare to be deported.
Fake IPL player is more interesting than KKR combined. McCullum shows the power of binary in his scores. Ganguly shows that if he can't lead he wont bother as an individual contributor - he is taking a leaf out of MSD's book : MSD's batting is now getting on my nerves.
And CSK needs to get rid of Jacob Oram, he sucks.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Swine Flu
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Have a look at this picture below. Do you think this cute little fella could ever harm you?
Did you say cull him? As Homer once said [Homer as in Simpson, not the poet] : You can't kill him if he is wearing people clothes.. And then Spider Pig, Spider Pig, but I digress.
So I asked my girlfriend when she would put out - last she said "When Pigs fly". Well its "Swine Flew" - close enough for me - I am going to go ask her for some lovin'.
Arrivederci!!!!
Have a look at this picture below. Do you think this cute little fella could ever harm you?
Did you say cull him? As Homer once said [Homer as in Simpson, not the poet] : You can't kill him if he is wearing people clothes.. And then Spider Pig, Spider Pig, but I digress.
So I asked my girlfriend when she would put out - last she said "When Pigs fly". Well its "Swine Flew" - close enough for me - I am going to go ask her for some lovin'.
Arrivederci!!!!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Accidentally...
I was on my way to grab some spirituality and a meal on my way back.
Right about on the road that leads to purple haze and a clutch of seemingly half drunk drivers ducking and weaving, and a toyota corolla in front of me slams the brakes - too late for the thunderbird which stops like the Queen Mary - My bike skidded and slipped under the corolla's boot. So while I am extricating myself, a mild mannered guy steps out of the car and quips : "He braked too hard" - I said what can I do - then without a thought to whether I was okay or not, proceeds to check underneath the boot of his precious fu#@ing vehicle. I told him - don't fuc@#ing panic - its okay, and of course it was. My fender caught a bit of the paint, and looks like the fork has taken a slight beating in the mangled mess - and my foot and back dont feel very good either. All this for a traffic incident at 20 km/hr. I need to sleep this off, and the bike needs a visit to the shop to check for any damages. Not a great start to the week, I'd say!
Right about on the road that leads to purple haze and a clutch of seemingly half drunk drivers ducking and weaving, and a toyota corolla in front of me slams the brakes - too late for the thunderbird which stops like the Queen Mary - My bike skidded and slipped under the corolla's boot. So while I am extricating myself, a mild mannered guy steps out of the car and quips : "He braked too hard" - I said what can I do - then without a thought to whether I was okay or not, proceeds to check underneath the boot of his precious fu#@ing vehicle. I told him - don't fuc@#ing panic - its okay, and of course it was. My fender caught a bit of the paint, and looks like the fork has taken a slight beating in the mangled mess - and my foot and back dont feel very good either. All this for a traffic incident at 20 km/hr. I need to sleep this off, and the bike needs a visit to the shop to check for any damages. Not a great start to the week, I'd say!
ICC World T20 2013 : SWAT
Greetings and Salutaitons from Mingora, capital of the SWAT valley, lying on the western border of lovely and safe Pakistan.
Khidmat Hussain, Governer of the valley of SWAT said : "Our lovely state has offered to the ICC to host the 2013 ICC World T20 Championship. We expect this move to help justify the universal understanding of the SWAT area as the most peaceful place on earth. Our denizens are lover of the game of cricket and appreciate a good game between the Muslims and the Kafirs."
Meanwhile ICC Chariman Shri Sharad Pawar, who besides holding onto positions as BCCI Chief, and Prime Minister of India [in that freak election in 2009 where the Jaago Re campaign cause such frivolous voting from confused youngsters, it led to a three way tie, and all the pseudo secular parties decided to shove the biggest blackmailer into the position of power, aka Shir Sharad Pawar], recently agreed to tour SWAT in a cursory move to review the security situation in the area. However, what he said was not very clear to the media since his lips now dangle from left to right - a lot more han before, because of which no body but no body knows what India's official stance is on any position since 2009.
The Australians earlier were up in arms over the move from moving the ICC World T20 championship from Australia to SWAT. Cricket Australia chairman Andrew Symonds threatened to blow up the ICC office in Kilinochi, while CA chief spokesperson Matthew Hayden called Sharad Pawar an "obnoxious little weed". Also ex-captain Ricky Ponting called this a "cheap shot by the big bloke" in apparently a response to Sharad Pawar being shoved off the victory podium during the Aussie victory of an ICC Champions Trophy back in 2007.
This was in response to the ICC fact-finding team's assessment on the security situation in Australia as "very grim". Australian Prime Minister Loud Howard cursed the 2009 American induced re-settlement plan of the Taliban in the Western Australian desert as "biggest bloody mistake" in the "great history of Australia". When questioned about the "felony past" of Australians Prime Minister Howard called it a "racist sub-continental concoction".
Meanwhile SWAT valley is scheduled to host the biggest gala event of the cricket millenium. With the resettlement of the Taliban in Western Australia, Pashtun women are now free to compete for positions as cheer-leaders for various teams. Some teams have vowed to carry their own cheer-leading squad, especially the Afghanistan team which has teamed up with the Dallas Cowboys. Meanwhile the Indian contingent has refused to send their cheer leading squad after Pramod Muthalik, now Indian MOS for Culture and Vice Prevention deemed such activities as Un-Indian.
So the stage is all set for an amazing game of cricket during the SWAT summer. American President Sarah Palin has herself vowed to come down and have a look at the "hot diggity dog its just like baseball" and inaugurate the great sporting event. Meanwhile women from Buner's PIM [Pakistan Institute of Manamgement for Women] are looking at ways at making this event a commercial success as part of their finaly year project study. All in all the T20 showcases the logistical ability of SWAT to conduct this event with no untoward incidents whatsoever, and gives a chance for the people of war-torn countries like Australia and England to have their hearts opened to the hospitable people of SWAT.
Khidmat Hussain, Governer of the valley of SWAT said : "Our lovely state has offered to the ICC to host the 2013 ICC World T20 Championship. We expect this move to help justify the universal understanding of the SWAT area as the most peaceful place on earth. Our denizens are lover of the game of cricket and appreciate a good game between the Muslims and the Kafirs."
Meanwhile ICC Chariman Shri Sharad Pawar, who besides holding onto positions as BCCI Chief, and Prime Minister of India [in that freak election in 2009 where the Jaago Re campaign cause such frivolous voting from confused youngsters, it led to a three way tie, and all the pseudo secular parties decided to shove the biggest blackmailer into the position of power, aka Shir Sharad Pawar], recently agreed to tour SWAT in a cursory move to review the security situation in the area. However, what he said was not very clear to the media since his lips now dangle from left to right - a lot more han before, because of which no body but no body knows what India's official stance is on any position since 2009.
The Australians earlier were up in arms over the move from moving the ICC World T20 championship from Australia to SWAT. Cricket Australia chairman Andrew Symonds threatened to blow up the ICC office in Kilinochi, while CA chief spokesperson Matthew Hayden called Sharad Pawar an "obnoxious little weed". Also ex-captain Ricky Ponting called this a "cheap shot by the big bloke" in apparently a response to Sharad Pawar being shoved off the victory podium during the Aussie victory of an ICC Champions Trophy back in 2007.
This was in response to the ICC fact-finding team's assessment on the security situation in Australia as "very grim". Australian Prime Minister Loud Howard cursed the 2009 American induced re-settlement plan of the Taliban in the Western Australian desert as "biggest bloody mistake" in the "great history of Australia". When questioned about the "felony past" of Australians Prime Minister Howard called it a "racist sub-continental concoction".
Meanwhile SWAT valley is scheduled to host the biggest gala event of the cricket millenium. With the resettlement of the Taliban in Western Australia, Pashtun women are now free to compete for positions as cheer-leaders for various teams. Some teams have vowed to carry their own cheer-leading squad, especially the Afghanistan team which has teamed up with the Dallas Cowboys. Meanwhile the Indian contingent has refused to send their cheer leading squad after Pramod Muthalik, now Indian MOS for Culture and Vice Prevention deemed such activities as Un-Indian.
So the stage is all set for an amazing game of cricket during the SWAT summer. American President Sarah Palin has herself vowed to come down and have a look at the "hot diggity dog its just like baseball" and inaugurate the great sporting event. Meanwhile women from Buner's PIM [Pakistan Institute of Manamgement for Women] are looking at ways at making this event a commercial success as part of their finaly year project study. All in all the T20 showcases the logistical ability of SWAT to conduct this event with no untoward incidents whatsoever, and gives a chance for the people of war-torn countries like Australia and England to have their hearts opened to the hospitable people of SWAT.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Dagger through the Heart
Scars of your angry words
A schism in my heart
Turned my world upside-down
And tore my life apart
Where were you in my misfortune?
Where were you in my pain?
Dithered to stand beside me
Was this love all in vain?
If all you ever wanted
Was what I never had
O'why did we have this drama
Of a love we nev'er had?
As you walk out that door
Into the world, cold and dark
I feel the seething pain
Of that dagger thru' my heart
A schism in my heart
Turned my world upside-down
And tore my life apart
Where were you in my misfortune?
Where were you in my pain?
Dithered to stand beside me
Was this love all in vain?
If all you ever wanted
Was what I never had
O'why did we have this drama
Of a love we nev'er had?
As you walk out that door
Into the world, cold and dark
I feel the seething pain
Of that dagger thru' my heart
SWAT Cats
Does anyone recall the SWAT Kats? Or was it SWAT Cats? It used to play around on TV during the late 90's - and I always recall watching it eating an tomato-onion uthappam delciously lobbed by my dear loving mother. Was it after I came back from college? Oh, I don't know - it was the cable age, but there still weren't reality shows like MTV Hero Honda Roadies around, so I guess SWAT Kats [or was it SWAT Katz now, I am really confused] would have to make do.
I only recall T-Bone and Razr [or was it Razor - is that what inspired the Moto Phone?], and a hardassed cop whose city was policed with loads of choppers. The Kats had a combat aircraft which pretty much bordered on the looking like F-14 Tomcat but flies like a Britsh Navy Harrier and flight dynamics of a F-35 with the computing power of the internet stashed away somewhere. Very impressive.
10 years on and this is the only picture I can get of the SWAT Kats : Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
So here is my song, an ode, a tribute to the gentle people of SWAT valley, the true radical squadron...
I get up in the morning
To the sound of the azaan
Every morning is Allah's blessing
For my day is really really fun
I am part of the virtue squadron
We have duty everyday
We pick up men with moustaches
And shaven freaks along the way
We impose the law of Sharia
In the valley of lovely SWAT
For that is the word of Muhammed
I know the Qu'ran by heart
Beating up defensless women
Who in public they'd be seen
With men who aren't relatives
Or showing off a bit of skin
Allah praise SWAT valley
We are imposing His holy word
Soon inshallah we will rule
With the letter of the sword
Who cares about education
Schools for women are a waste
Get caught with a book in SWAT
And lashes turn you into paste
Don't hate us for it
Allah wishes and we do
Just look at your family member
Who is holding you down too
So Allah Praise SWAT
The Switzerland of the East
And down with democracy
Coz its such a fu!@ing Beast !!!!
I only recall T-Bone and Razr [or was it Razor - is that what inspired the Moto Phone?], and a hardassed cop whose city was policed with loads of choppers. The Kats had a combat aircraft which pretty much bordered on the looking like F-14 Tomcat but flies like a Britsh Navy Harrier and flight dynamics of a F-35 with the computing power of the internet stashed away somewhere. Very impressive.
10 years on and this is the only picture I can get of the SWAT Kats : Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
So here is my song, an ode, a tribute to the gentle people of SWAT valley, the true radical squadron...
I get up in the morning
To the sound of the azaan
Every morning is Allah's blessing
For my day is really really fun
I am part of the virtue squadron
We have duty everyday
We pick up men with moustaches
And shaven freaks along the way
We impose the law of Sharia
In the valley of lovely SWAT
For that is the word of Muhammed
I know the Qu'ran by heart
Beating up defensless women
Who in public they'd be seen
With men who aren't relatives
Or showing off a bit of skin
Allah praise SWAT valley
We are imposing His holy word
Soon inshallah we will rule
With the letter of the sword
Who cares about education
Schools for women are a waste
Get caught with a book in SWAT
And lashes turn you into paste
Don't hate us for it
Allah wishes and we do
Just look at your family member
Who is holding you down too
So Allah Praise SWAT
The Switzerland of the East
And down with democracy
Coz its such a fu!@ing Beast !!!!
IPL, Part Deux
What would make the IPL even more interesting
1. Absence of Bimbettes and Male Bimbos on Sony's Set MAX hosting shows, half-time intervals and tactical breaks. If I want glamor I am anyway watching the white skinned South African Blondes shake their stuff.
2. NDTV stops shouting why IPL2 is all the rage in south africa by force feeding Indian cricket down a tube in every "indian origin" south african. "Oh, we love Indian culture" coos on dreadlocked brown girl "Aishwayrya, Amitabh Bachchan" - yes we all are proud of our 35 years of civilization thank you very much descendant of coolies.
IPL is an IPL - no matter where the carnival goes. Trouble is how the BCCI and the team owners recover their cost. Come to think of it, I don't understand beyond the cost of the winning team's cheque what else does a team lying say 7th or 8th lose over the guys who come in first? More airtime perhaps? It seems to me that this is a place where Shah Rukh always trumps India Cement Chairman for sheer popularity [or poor taste of the desi crowd, but hey I don't have a six-pack, who am I to begrudge him that!?].
My pick for the year as was last year was the Chennai Super Kings simply because captain cool Dhoni is in chage. However, Dhoni has turned out to be like one of those project leads in IT Companies - he wants to be a team lead, but doesn't want to do any hands on work. He will tell the fielders where to stand, bring on the right bowlers and shuffle the batting order, but will not do anything by himself with the bat. Heck that is sad for a guy who cracks over a million dont you think? And what has Andrew Freddie Flintoff done for CSK so far - he has looked the worse player - perhaps Morkel has something to say about that, but atleast he isnt overpaid - and now he is heading home with an injury. People were right - he is a tremendously overrated player. Pity though, buying him still isnt the worst decision made.
Meanwhile the Deccan Chargers seem to get better with each outing, and that is good to see - especially since the Indian talent over there is doing its job too.
Who wants the elections anyway? Its the same thing - either the crook or the thief lords over you - just get over this democratic farce and give us folks some good entertainment. I was keen on watching atleast one or two of the CSK home matches this year - but stupid P Chidambaram had to throw it all away.
Side note : Tennis Australia has refused to send a team to placid chennai citing security concerns for which they will get docked both money and playing rights for a year. Hahahah - talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Good riddance, we dont want your convicts setting our stadium on fire.
1. Absence of Bimbettes and Male Bimbos on Sony's Set MAX hosting shows, half-time intervals and tactical breaks. If I want glamor I am anyway watching the white skinned South African Blondes shake their stuff.
2. NDTV stops shouting why IPL2 is all the rage in south africa by force feeding Indian cricket down a tube in every "indian origin" south african. "Oh, we love Indian culture" coos on dreadlocked brown girl "Aishwayrya, Amitabh Bachchan" - yes we all are proud of our 35 years of civilization thank you very much descendant of coolies.
IPL is an IPL - no matter where the carnival goes. Trouble is how the BCCI and the team owners recover their cost. Come to think of it, I don't understand beyond the cost of the winning team's cheque what else does a team lying say 7th or 8th lose over the guys who come in first? More airtime perhaps? It seems to me that this is a place where Shah Rukh always trumps India Cement Chairman for sheer popularity [or poor taste of the desi crowd, but hey I don't have a six-pack, who am I to begrudge him that!?].
My pick for the year as was last year was the Chennai Super Kings simply because captain cool Dhoni is in chage. However, Dhoni has turned out to be like one of those project leads in IT Companies - he wants to be a team lead, but doesn't want to do any hands on work. He will tell the fielders where to stand, bring on the right bowlers and shuffle the batting order, but will not do anything by himself with the bat. Heck that is sad for a guy who cracks over a million dont you think? And what has Andrew Freddie Flintoff done for CSK so far - he has looked the worse player - perhaps Morkel has something to say about that, but atleast he isnt overpaid - and now he is heading home with an injury. People were right - he is a tremendously overrated player. Pity though, buying him still isnt the worst decision made.
Meanwhile the Deccan Chargers seem to get better with each outing, and that is good to see - especially since the Indian talent over there is doing its job too.
Who wants the elections anyway? Its the same thing - either the crook or the thief lords over you - just get over this democratic farce and give us folks some good entertainment. I was keen on watching atleast one or two of the CSK home matches this year - but stupid P Chidambaram had to throw it all away.
Side note : Tennis Australia has refused to send a team to placid chennai citing security concerns for which they will get docked both money and playing rights for a year. Hahahah - talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Good riddance, we dont want your convicts setting our stadium on fire.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Ragging : Myths and Myths
A kid from Kerala studying at Coimbatore's PSG college is almost blinded. His injured eyes are a pain to look at. I really feel for the poor kid.
His "seniors" asked him to lick their boots and part with Rs.3000/-. IS this ragging? Or is this extortion, hooliganism and attempted murder?
There are quite a few folks who extol the "virtues of ragging".
Myth 1. Ragging makes you a man/woman. You become independent and can fend for yourself
Where is the fu#@ing bravery when 10 oversized seniors pounce on a kid who can't even find his way around campus? You tell me what ritual such as undressing, or being brutally beaten up, or even doing a song or a dance have to do with making a man out of someone. And if they aren't then who the f#$k are these seniors to turn them into men/women - is this some form of social service we are unaware of in society?
Myth 2. Ragging brings seniors and juniors closer : I got to know my senior better after he made love to me.
At the end of the day leveraging power to abuse someone does not bring people closer. It simply creates a dependency between two people and you can get eternal subservience from the other person. If you have to go through a hazing ritual to be friends, such friends are not worth having at all.
Myth 3. Ragging is ragging.
Ragging is a polite term for sexual, mental, verbal and physical abuse. This is a harsher crime that actually crosses multiple boundaries of illegality, and hence should have the harshest punishment, including the death penalty to be applied depending on the circumstances. Can you imagine the pain Mr. Kachroo's father has to go through to light the funeral pyre of his son, and fight in the Supreme court, just to get the management kick out the useless Principal of the college. Its another matter how he has to deal with the murderers of his son.
Myth 4. There are varying degrees of ragging.
Who the heck are you to decide it? Stay away from the juniors when they join college. Let them find their own way around. If you have been boned by your seniors, it doesnt give you the right to go about raising hell in the lives of poor kids who've come to the college.
Myth 5. Ragging prevents students from "mixing" together
If you are bent of boning new kids, you better not be allowed to get close to them. IF your intentions are indeed noble, time will allow for you to be respected and to engage in some fruitful friendships with the newbies.
Student who are involved in ragging are like vultures - you could see them hang around campus and attempt to harangue anyone and everyone who passes their way in the initial days of college. Law enforcement should be allowed inside colleges to curb with this menace. When kids know someone is watching their back, they can go ahead with the task of getting used to college life. Because ragging sure as hell isn't going to help them.
His "seniors" asked him to lick their boots and part with Rs.3000/-. IS this ragging? Or is this extortion, hooliganism and attempted murder?
There are quite a few folks who extol the "virtues of ragging".
Myth 1. Ragging makes you a man/woman. You become independent and can fend for yourself
Where is the fu#@ing bravery when 10 oversized seniors pounce on a kid who can't even find his way around campus? You tell me what ritual such as undressing, or being brutally beaten up, or even doing a song or a dance have to do with making a man out of someone. And if they aren't then who the f#$k are these seniors to turn them into men/women - is this some form of social service we are unaware of in society?
Myth 2. Ragging brings seniors and juniors closer : I got to know my senior better after he made love to me.
At the end of the day leveraging power to abuse someone does not bring people closer. It simply creates a dependency between two people and you can get eternal subservience from the other person. If you have to go through a hazing ritual to be friends, such friends are not worth having at all.
Myth 3. Ragging is ragging.
Ragging is a polite term for sexual, mental, verbal and physical abuse. This is a harsher crime that actually crosses multiple boundaries of illegality, and hence should have the harshest punishment, including the death penalty to be applied depending on the circumstances. Can you imagine the pain Mr. Kachroo's father has to go through to light the funeral pyre of his son, and fight in the Supreme court, just to get the management kick out the useless Principal of the college. Its another matter how he has to deal with the murderers of his son.
Myth 4. There are varying degrees of ragging.
Who the heck are you to decide it? Stay away from the juniors when they join college. Let them find their own way around. If you have been boned by your seniors, it doesnt give you the right to go about raising hell in the lives of poor kids who've come to the college.
Myth 5. Ragging prevents students from "mixing" together
If you are bent of boning new kids, you better not be allowed to get close to them. IF your intentions are indeed noble, time will allow for you to be respected and to engage in some fruitful friendships with the newbies.
Student who are involved in ragging are like vultures - you could see them hang around campus and attempt to harangue anyone and everyone who passes their way in the initial days of college. Law enforcement should be allowed inside colleges to curb with this menace. When kids know someone is watching their back, they can go ahead with the task of getting used to college life. Because ragging sure as hell isn't going to help them.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Respect Women - No Questions Asked...
In Michael Moore's Sicko - and very often in life they say the true character of a country can be judged by how it treats its weakest. To me it applies to how it treats its women as well. The more I find the oxymoron of Indians worshipping women dieities true, the more ugliness I find in the behavior of its men towards women. It's been a terribly sickening Saturday morning when I open a newspaper and all I find is violence against women, of such depravity, it nearly made me throw up.
Unfortunately, the way in which Indian men and women themselves treat the women of this country is downright disgusting. I find that this is not just systemic bias, but just like its caste system, its some sort of latent hatred towards women - which pours out in each and every activity men do - and each and everything they say to them - its down right patronizing tone and revolting undercurrents. I do not understand how you cannot do any value judgement of your significant others in life! This creeps through all strata of society - women with no economic independence and no say in the role of planning their family fall prey to the debauchery of men all over.
Its an endemic plague afflicting society, and I find this abuse is very strongly tied to the absence of economic and sexual freedom for women - The moment this happens and women have greater say in choosing who their partners are and when they are interested in family, it would lead to lesser of this abuse - but the scope for exploitation still exists - as long as we have a nation full of pimps - either in the family or outside of them.
There is no new reason I need to give for asking the men of this country to stop this brazen and disgusting violence and repression of women - What the Taliban did to the woman in SWAT is just a mirror of what happens in our country as well - there is real good scope to give women the freedom they deserve in making decisions and of course they will make mistakes - but then who doesn't. We need special laws against this subjugation of 1/2 of our country, and unless we do, forget super power status - we won't respect ourselves as a nation.
It needs a serious change of attitude of the lot. Easier said than done!
Unfortunately, the way in which Indian men and women themselves treat the women of this country is downright disgusting. I find that this is not just systemic bias, but just like its caste system, its some sort of latent hatred towards women - which pours out in each and every activity men do - and each and everything they say to them - its down right patronizing tone and revolting undercurrents. I do not understand how you cannot do any value judgement of your significant others in life! This creeps through all strata of society - women with no economic independence and no say in the role of planning their family fall prey to the debauchery of men all over.
Its an endemic plague afflicting society, and I find this abuse is very strongly tied to the absence of economic and sexual freedom for women - The moment this happens and women have greater say in choosing who their partners are and when they are interested in family, it would lead to lesser of this abuse - but the scope for exploitation still exists - as long as we have a nation full of pimps - either in the family or outside of them.
There is no new reason I need to give for asking the men of this country to stop this brazen and disgusting violence and repression of women - What the Taliban did to the woman in SWAT is just a mirror of what happens in our country as well - there is real good scope to give women the freedom they deserve in making decisions and of course they will make mistakes - but then who doesn't. We need special laws against this subjugation of 1/2 of our country, and unless we do, forget super power status - we won't respect ourselves as a nation.
It needs a serious change of attitude of the lot. Easier said than done!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Goody Two Shoes
Well.. after a fairly short and not-so-protracted battle against cervical cancer, Jade Goody, aka racist foul-mouth white-trash wench, has finally kicked the bucket at the ripe age of 27, and leaves behind two little sons. Sad part that..
Jade's cruel twist of fate, and Shilpa Shetty's rising stars are so in the opposite worlds that any one who believes in astrology cannot but wonder how two totally different people from separate continents, have such reversals of fortune, that its sickening.
Of course both are camera-grabbing, sound-byte giving, over-the-top acting attention whores, and their apparent lack of talents are overshadowed by the fact that people are willing to give in to any sloppy fight between two grown women on the telly.
Jade's wedding a month before her death, serves us to remind that gold diggers reside on both side of the gender fence. She made over a million pounds in selling the rights to her wedding, and the rights from all her interviews, her two books [two books by age 27? I can't even write a single chapter!] had made her rich.. And a newly wedded grieving widower who is most likely going to hit the dating circuit in the coming days. Watch out english women! Here come the husband of the english patient..
God knows what is Jade's gift to this planet - she lead a life in below average surroundings, held mediocre jobs, and the Big Brother riff gave her the status of a rockstar. Even suburban middle class Indian men know "Jade Gooooody", if only her claim to fame were a supposed "racist rant" against "poppadum Shetty" - who the fu$# uses the work "Poppadum" anyway - I always thought it was "Lijjat Paapad" or the more tamil-ized "Appalaam" mmmm tasty.
Jade didn't die soon enough - her fight laster almost 6 days more than what was expected. That gave TV channels 6 more days of banal reporting. Bye-bye Miss Not-so-Goody Two Shoes.. RIP..
Jade's cruel twist of fate, and Shilpa Shetty's rising stars are so in the opposite worlds that any one who believes in astrology cannot but wonder how two totally different people from separate continents, have such reversals of fortune, that its sickening.
Of course both are camera-grabbing, sound-byte giving, over-the-top acting attention whores, and their apparent lack of talents are overshadowed by the fact that people are willing to give in to any sloppy fight between two grown women on the telly.
Jade's wedding a month before her death, serves us to remind that gold diggers reside on both side of the gender fence. She made over a million pounds in selling the rights to her wedding, and the rights from all her interviews, her two books [two books by age 27? I can't even write a single chapter!] had made her rich.. And a newly wedded grieving widower who is most likely going to hit the dating circuit in the coming days. Watch out english women! Here come the husband of the english patient..
God knows what is Jade's gift to this planet - she lead a life in below average surroundings, held mediocre jobs, and the Big Brother riff gave her the status of a rockstar. Even suburban middle class Indian men know "Jade Gooooody", if only her claim to fame were a supposed "racist rant" against "poppadum Shetty" - who the fu$# uses the work "Poppadum" anyway - I always thought it was "Lijjat Paapad" or the more tamil-ized "Appalaam" mmmm tasty.
Jade didn't die soon enough - her fight laster almost 6 days more than what was expected. That gave TV channels 6 more days of banal reporting. Bye-bye Miss Not-so-Goody Two Shoes.. RIP..
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Womens' Day
Another western concept tries to find its niche here in India. First it was hallmark's Valentine's day, then it was what - Father's day, Mother's day - ever wonder why the American's don't have children's day or teacher's day celebrated - it is because of the American value system which places selfishness above knowledge, which is in line with the Judeo Christian philosophy of "save they souls or go to hell" dogma. This has very little to do with the hooliganism unleashed by the Sri Ram Sene, because irrespective of their professed religious ideology, I simply treat their behavior as a law and order problem, and little or nothing to do with scoring political brownie points and should be deal with as such. Child-brides, dowry deaths, human trafficking, no access to health-care might be problems their urban sisters are blithely unaware of while they hit the pubs, and party the night away.
What ever happened to women helping women? That is utterly and sorely missing. The greatest impediment to the success of women is not just their male counterparts - but women themselves. Men by very nature are competitive and will attempt to out do each other, while it is in the nature of women to be more co-operative. The discrimination against the gender filters through all class barriers, as indicated by the sex ratio in the state of Chandigarh/Punjab stands to be among the lowest.
Women don't need pink chaddis and pub bharo andolans - you can drink to it once you are done emancipating your sisters. Cheap gimmickry gets you media attention and more molestors, not the respect of your uncouth opponents.
What ever happened to women helping women? That is utterly and sorely missing. The greatest impediment to the success of women is not just their male counterparts - but women themselves. Men by very nature are competitive and will attempt to out do each other, while it is in the nature of women to be more co-operative. The discrimination against the gender filters through all class barriers, as indicated by the sex ratio in the state of Chandigarh/Punjab stands to be among the lowest.
Women don't need pink chaddis and pub bharo andolans - you can drink to it once you are done emancipating your sisters. Cheap gimmickry gets you media attention and more molestors, not the respect of your uncouth opponents.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
American Idol 2009
American Idol has a reasonable fan following with me. English music, and the American dream and the American fakeness is all too alluring for me. There is a desi contestant too, and boy I think he can sing : Anoop Desai, I want to see your brown skin go through to the top 24 atleast and take it from there.
I did hear some good voices this year, but the years that caught my ears the most were in 2008 and 2006. I didn't like the year 2007 where Jordin Sparks came up trumps, I didn't see any really good voices. Not a lot of folks remember the also-rans from earlier rans as they did from 2006 and 2008, and it was painful to see some of them get kicked out.
Here's to Anoop Dogg, and to see some real competitors emerge from the 9th season.
I did hear some good voices this year, but the years that caught my ears the most were in 2008 and 2006. I didn't like the year 2007 where Jordin Sparks came up trumps, I didn't see any really good voices. Not a lot of folks remember the also-rans from earlier rans as they did from 2006 and 2008, and it was painful to see some of them get kicked out.
Here's to Anoop Dogg, and to see some real competitors emerge from the 9th season.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Expert Commentary my ass..
The current India-SL series is a big yawwwnnn.. Any series with Sri-Lanka evokes as much excitement as seeing Hillary Clinton in her birthday suit. Honestly, what was the BCCI thinking - SL is easily the most boring side in the world to watch, Ajantha Mendis apart their brand of cricket can be described as gully cricket at best. Jayasuriya has been playing since I was in my diapers, when the hell is he going to retire?
Oh wait, I digress.. Has anyone seen an ass disguise himself as an expert commentator - called Dilip Vengsarkar - the man cant string two lines in English - if you can't just say it in Marathi you idiot. His glib quotes were : "we took wickets and they lost wickets and... we won.. which is a good result for us" I was goot Woooooot the FuC#@@#$#@@$#!!!! This guy was writing in TOI probably a decade or so ago, I recall him write in Mid-Day when I was in Mumbai. Fricking moron. Javagal Srinath is no better. These cliche toting dumbasses who had the privelege of playing for India just because there was no other talent simply meant that we are now saddled with such cliche ridden idiots on the telly..
Meanwhile I just see Ishant outfox the Lankan Ravan sena - and its now 7 in a row - Looking forward to the New Zealand tour though. Time to get roll over the Lankans 5-0 and demoralize their ass - getting all cocky after beating the LTTE are we?
Oh wait, I digress.. Has anyone seen an ass disguise himself as an expert commentator - called Dilip Vengsarkar - the man cant string two lines in English - if you can't just say it in Marathi you idiot. His glib quotes were : "we took wickets and they lost wickets and... we won.. which is a good result for us" I was goot Woooooot the FuC#@@#$#@@$#!!!! This guy was writing in TOI probably a decade or so ago, I recall him write in Mid-Day when I was in Mumbai. Fricking moron. Javagal Srinath is no better. These cliche toting dumbasses who had the privelege of playing for India just because there was no other talent simply meant that we are now saddled with such cliche ridden idiots on the telly..
Meanwhile I just see Ishant outfox the Lankan Ravan sena - and its now 7 in a row - Looking forward to the New Zealand tour though. Time to get roll over the Lankans 5-0 and demoralize their ass - getting all cocky after beating the LTTE are we?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Responsibility - its more than a word
The Satyam ex-CFO Vada-curry Vadalamani professed ignorance with the book doctoring charges and claimed he "blindly signed" what he was given by the brother Messers Chor and Lutera Raju.
Wow - that is the world's worst defense. People kill to get to the CFO position, I know I would - and all you can coolly tell us, after a few Enrons, Worltels that you never saw an excel sheet? Sir, you are get paid for what, may I ask? Sit on your black ass and play Solitaire, while your employees work 25 hr days, while you bill client like World Bank for 26? Tsk tsk, "responsibility" isn't just an non-andhra word, Mr-ex-CFO, it means you take charge for what you do, and you say - It happened under my watch, and what I did was unpardonable, now punish me.
If your employees used that defense you wouldn't get any of your projects done - "I dont know who wrote this code, I just compile it". You and your andhra-money-grabbing ilk make me sick. Go to hell, all 3 of you, you brought all of Indian IT down with your money grabbing filthy hands... I hope you feel the pain of every investor each night you try to sleep you filthy animals...
Wow - that is the world's worst defense. People kill to get to the CFO position, I know I would - and all you can coolly tell us, after a few Enrons, Worltels that you never saw an excel sheet? Sir, you are get paid for what, may I ask? Sit on your black ass and play Solitaire, while your employees work 25 hr days, while you bill client like World Bank for 26? Tsk tsk, "responsibility" isn't just an non-andhra word, Mr-ex-CFO, it means you take charge for what you do, and you say - It happened under my watch, and what I did was unpardonable, now punish me.
If your employees used that defense you wouldn't get any of your projects done - "I dont know who wrote this code, I just compile it". You and your andhra-money-grabbing ilk make me sick. Go to hell, all 3 of you, you brought all of Indian IT down with your money grabbing filthy hands... I hope you feel the pain of every investor each night you try to sleep you filthy animals...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The best damn cookie...PERIOD
American cookies are shit - I hate Oreos and the store cookies - European cookies are too bland, expect for the French ones I haven't bothered trying - But of all the biscuits I've tasted my favoritest is : Britannia Pure Magic Vanilla :
It was launched back in the 90's.
They stopped this somewhere down the ages, and relaunched it again some time ago - the vanilla filling and the cookie exterior blend in this awesome goodness... I can't wait to get up each morning and dunk a handful of them into my coffee.. MMmm mmmm mmm delish!!
It was launched back in the 90's.
They stopped this somewhere down the ages, and relaunched it again some time ago - the vanilla filling and the cookie exterior blend in this awesome goodness... I can't wait to get up each morning and dunk a handful of them into my coffee.. MMmm mmmm mmm delish!!
Wings of the Bird..
Haven't taken the bird out on a long ride in a long while. Planning something for the following weekend, once my document comes back from insurance renewal. In 4 years she has done almost 20,000 kms mostly in moribund city traffic. Have kept her safe so far, and have been no accident save one bit of lunacy from an oncoming auto rickshaw driver way back when the bike was 8 months young.
The little dot on the front of the petrol was the indent when the front of the handle jammed against it and I skidded.
I want to get my hands on a good Lightning 535 in Bangalore, so in any case any one is interested in selling one, they can get in touch with me through this blog.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Slumdog for the Oscars? Hold on...
How would you feel if a rape offender surfaced a few years down the line to pursue a victim for her beauty, but ended up castigating her for being "used-good"? Not only is that highly offensive but you'd probably say what the hell is the rapist doing out in the open anyway? Lock him up and throw away the key - and of course the victim is entitled to some form of restitution.
Slumdog Millionaire is one of the movies I was curious to read about in review before I spent my well-earned 200 Rs at one of the shameless extortionists called PVR cinemas. I've read enough, and I don't care 2 hoots for cinematography as some of the erudite white-skinned readers of CNN etc. have professed. Especially when you film human excrement covered all over a little boy. And pass it off as a patently Indian thing to do.
Britain's love affair for India started almost 500 years ago when a band of the white skinned brigands set shore up on the shores of our native country. To trade, and then to enslave. The enslavement part came partly because the armies were of predominantly Muslim Mughal conquerers who sat on their fat-asses watching Mujras while certain Englishmen on boats were piling up on the western shores. To anyone who thinks Britain did a favor on us to bestow the Queen's lingua france, think again - nobody robs a piss-poor country, so the counter argument and the argumentee both get thrown out the window. And the Brits didnt' simply put all the goodies on a boat on the midnight of August 14th 1947. They did so over 300 years, since the set up of the East India company.
For the same bunch of ragged ugly Brits to come to India, and film - nay - exploit India's "ugly underbelly" for commercial purposes of the white-west who lap it up like a starving dog - with the samy pithy quotes - "moving", "human spirit", "rags to riches" - its just inane I tell you - Yes there is poverty in India, yes there are people who take a dump on the Western Express Highway, but that is the prerogative of the people who take the dump, and the folks who keep populating the slums with kids who take a dump in the open.
I don't intend to watch the movie, and I call up on all self respecting Indians to refrain from doing the same - in fact I support pulling down the movie from Indian theatres as well [violence would be morally justified] - If I wanted to see poverty, I'd just take a little walksie outside of my apartment complex, and watch the kids relieve themselves.
Coming back to my argument earlier - rapists of the native land, coming back to exploit the ugly side of their victim - doesn't sound appealing, it is nauseating.
As with every thing western, take an angle, blow it out of proportion - especially with anything eastern - By the same yardstick if America were Micheal Jackson, Marilyn Manson, and George Bush, that would collectively be the dumbest nation on planet earth - okay just one notch above Pakistan.
A few things India is not:
1. Amitabh Bachchan fans - I find him annoying at times and an over actor..
2. Live in squalor and poverty - Take a trip down to the Bronx - London was the largest slum until the turn of the 19th century.
3. All Indians do not work in BPO's - the few that do annoy the rest of us.
Self-respect is not in the purvey of left-liberals - which is why they will sell their mothers to go watch this movie and get a "new insight into India" while yapping over their iPhone and avoiding the kid scratching the window of their petrol-guzzling luxury sedan.
Slumdog Millionaire is one of the movies I was curious to read about in review before I spent my well-earned 200 Rs at one of the shameless extortionists called PVR cinemas. I've read enough, and I don't care 2 hoots for cinematography as some of the erudite white-skinned readers of CNN etc. have professed. Especially when you film human excrement covered all over a little boy. And pass it off as a patently Indian thing to do.
Britain's love affair for India started almost 500 years ago when a band of the white skinned brigands set shore up on the shores of our native country. To trade, and then to enslave. The enslavement part came partly because the armies were of predominantly Muslim Mughal conquerers who sat on their fat-asses watching Mujras while certain Englishmen on boats were piling up on the western shores. To anyone who thinks Britain did a favor on us to bestow the Queen's lingua france, think again - nobody robs a piss-poor country, so the counter argument and the argumentee both get thrown out the window. And the Brits didnt' simply put all the goodies on a boat on the midnight of August 14th 1947. They did so over 300 years, since the set up of the East India company.
For the same bunch of ragged ugly Brits to come to India, and film - nay - exploit India's "ugly underbelly" for commercial purposes of the white-west who lap it up like a starving dog - with the samy pithy quotes - "moving", "human spirit", "rags to riches" - its just inane I tell you - Yes there is poverty in India, yes there are people who take a dump on the Western Express Highway, but that is the prerogative of the people who take the dump, and the folks who keep populating the slums with kids who take a dump in the open.
I don't intend to watch the movie, and I call up on all self respecting Indians to refrain from doing the same - in fact I support pulling down the movie from Indian theatres as well [violence would be morally justified] - If I wanted to see poverty, I'd just take a little walksie outside of my apartment complex, and watch the kids relieve themselves.
Coming back to my argument earlier - rapists of the native land, coming back to exploit the ugly side of their victim - doesn't sound appealing, it is nauseating.
As with every thing western, take an angle, blow it out of proportion - especially with anything eastern - By the same yardstick if America were Micheal Jackson, Marilyn Manson, and George Bush, that would collectively be the dumbest nation on planet earth - okay just one notch above Pakistan.
A few things India is not:
1. Amitabh Bachchan fans - I find him annoying at times and an over actor..
2. Live in squalor and poverty - Take a trip down to the Bronx - London was the largest slum until the turn of the 19th century.
3. All Indians do not work in BPO's - the few that do annoy the rest of us.
Self-respect is not in the purvey of left-liberals - which is why they will sell their mothers to go watch this movie and get a "new insight into India" while yapping over their iPhone and avoiding the kid scratching the window of their petrol-guzzling luxury sedan.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Disproportionate Retribution
So the Israeli troops have made a ground incursion into Gaza to get rid of Hamas. One of the top commanders of Hamas have been taken out in the earlier air-strikes.
This has been Israel's dis-proportionate response to the dozen odd people killed in rocket attacks made by the terrorist organization by the name of Hamas. It is anyone's guess how many more Palestinians are going to be steam-rolled in the new offensive in the name of "defense of Israel".
One of the most unthinkable but doomsday scenario aspects is that Israel's disproportionate response every time to each act of terror is aimed at, according to Israel, aimed at shutting the other side up for a while, but could very easily back-fire in the kind of radicalization and polarization of the non-Arab countries against it. To expect any friends of Israel in the Arab world would be insane. However the over-the-top reaction is not winning it any sympathy in Europe and other countries with minority Islamic populations.
Coming back to the doomsday scenario I was talking about. Its always possible that the only Islamic country with nuclear weapons - Pakistan - would and could support the detonation of a dirty-bomb on Israeli soil. However, if the Pakistanis had anything they would already have forked it out to their jehadi brothers in Palestine. Detonation of a dirty bomb would definitely leave its fingerprints which would be almost impossible to get rid of - However if the same were to be used against a neighboring nation - say India, in the event of a conventional war, it would be justified in the name of self-defense - the same illogical reason used by Israel. For the same reason the detonation of a nuclear dirty bomb would most probably never happen on Indian soil, because that would mean an almost immediate response from India, and if there is mobilization prior to this by Pakistan to save itself, India's ears would be up for a possible act of war.
There is every possibility that nuclear weapons, if at all they are in any sense of maturity level for delivery, would be used against India - in fact they would probably throw everything including the kitchen sink against their neighbor, very well risking complete annihilation. That's their doctrine, its not the no-first-use as purpotedly espoused by Zardari on TV.
This has been Israel's dis-proportionate response to the dozen odd people killed in rocket attacks made by the terrorist organization by the name of Hamas. It is anyone's guess how many more Palestinians are going to be steam-rolled in the new offensive in the name of "defense of Israel".
One of the most unthinkable but doomsday scenario aspects is that Israel's disproportionate response every time to each act of terror is aimed at, according to Israel, aimed at shutting the other side up for a while, but could very easily back-fire in the kind of radicalization and polarization of the non-Arab countries against it. To expect any friends of Israel in the Arab world would be insane. However the over-the-top reaction is not winning it any sympathy in Europe and other countries with minority Islamic populations.
Coming back to the doomsday scenario I was talking about. Its always possible that the only Islamic country with nuclear weapons - Pakistan - would and could support the detonation of a dirty-bomb on Israeli soil. However, if the Pakistanis had anything they would already have forked it out to their jehadi brothers in Palestine. Detonation of a dirty bomb would definitely leave its fingerprints which would be almost impossible to get rid of - However if the same were to be used against a neighboring nation - say India, in the event of a conventional war, it would be justified in the name of self-defense - the same illogical reason used by Israel. For the same reason the detonation of a nuclear dirty bomb would most probably never happen on Indian soil, because that would mean an almost immediate response from India, and if there is mobilization prior to this by Pakistan to save itself, India's ears would be up for a possible act of war.
There is every possibility that nuclear weapons, if at all they are in any sense of maturity level for delivery, would be used against India - in fact they would probably throw everything including the kitchen sink against their neighbor, very well risking complete annihilation. That's their doctrine, its not the no-first-use as purpotedly espoused by Zardari on TV.
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