The thunderbird shall roar again..
She shall soar again,
Taking me underneath her wings
The chug of the engine,
The sound of the exhaust
The thump under the fuel tank,
Navigating the bends on the road
We shall visit places heard of
Once again..
The thunderbird shall soar again!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Problems in life? Get in the line, Dr. Freud will see you!
Often people pour their hearts out in emotional outbursts. They spill out their problems in life, in a manner befitting an Oscar. Very often, people love playing the wronged victim at the slightest hint of opposition or difficulty in their lives.
I have a lot or respect for people who are what they are despite all that. It shows true character. Anyone can notch up something good, when the going is good. But very often to get to a stage where the going is good, you need to make the right choices. A lot of times our choices result in unintended consequences, however it just seems logical that the paths we take influence the outcome more often than not.
There are times when the tide is against you, but that shouldn't stop you from swimming against it. I've seen the struggles and sacrifices I've had to make, and when I climbed that first peak, and then the second and so on, it was nothing but breathtaking to just cast a glance back and just exclaim : Wow, I did all that! And its the view from the top to the bottom that is the most breathtaking.
Buckle up Sally - for the ride is going to be rough. People who coast through life are very few in number. Remember when you rise to the top you can always weather any storm. For adversity is absolutely the truest test of one's abilities and character. For push comes to shove, you will be dancing around fate in the ring like Muhammad Ali.
I have a lot or respect for people who are what they are despite all that. It shows true character. Anyone can notch up something good, when the going is good. But very often to get to a stage where the going is good, you need to make the right choices. A lot of times our choices result in unintended consequences, however it just seems logical that the paths we take influence the outcome more often than not.
There are times when the tide is against you, but that shouldn't stop you from swimming against it. I've seen the struggles and sacrifices I've had to make, and when I climbed that first peak, and then the second and so on, it was nothing but breathtaking to just cast a glance back and just exclaim : Wow, I did all that! And its the view from the top to the bottom that is the most breathtaking.
Buckle up Sally - for the ride is going to be rough. People who coast through life are very few in number. Remember when you rise to the top you can always weather any storm. For adversity is absolutely the truest test of one's abilities and character. For push comes to shove, you will be dancing around fate in the ring like Muhammad Ali.
Friday, May 02, 2008
My first IPL game
Delhi Daredevils took on the Chennai Super Kings last evening and I was there to catch all the action at the Chepauk Stadium.
Entertainment is the buzz-word for the T20 matches, and even as we setlled in at 5:45 pm well before the 8 pm scheduled start time, the singing from AS, and drumming from Sivamani kept people going through in the stifling heat.
The match, atleast the Chennai innings wasn't something to write home about. I suspected a good dismantling from Viru, and I got what I paid for - lusty hitting, great batting from the DD's. The last match I saw live was where Viru had taken on McGrath on day 4 of that cursed test where the last day got washed out. Watching his eye-hand coordination, his ability to pick up gaps was just pretty amazing. Even a couple of wickets in the kitty of the CSK team didn't do much to upset the DD applecart, but overall it was a one-sided and low scoring match which was expected given the departure of the CSK's Ozzy/Kiwi imports.
Overall, the IPL matches are a fun place to be in, where no matter who you cheer for, its an Indian team which wins the match.. Parochial sentiments set aside, the crowd in small measures enjoyed the brutal execution of Viru-Gauti.
Entertainment is the buzz-word for the T20 matches, and even as we setlled in at 5:45 pm well before the 8 pm scheduled start time, the singing from AS, and drumming from Sivamani kept people going through in the stifling heat.
The match, atleast the Chennai innings wasn't something to write home about. I suspected a good dismantling from Viru, and I got what I paid for - lusty hitting, great batting from the DD's. The last match I saw live was where Viru had taken on McGrath on day 4 of that cursed test where the last day got washed out. Watching his eye-hand coordination, his ability to pick up gaps was just pretty amazing. Even a couple of wickets in the kitty of the CSK team didn't do much to upset the DD applecart, but overall it was a one-sided and low scoring match which was expected given the departure of the CSK's Ozzy/Kiwi imports.
Overall, the IPL matches are a fun place to be in, where no matter who you cheer for, its an Indian team which wins the match.. Parochial sentiments set aside, the crowd in small measures enjoyed the brutal execution of Viru-Gauti.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Ill Effects of Alcohol
A study by some white folks, I won't even bother to look up to quote, reveals that "Alcohol impairs judgement."
Oh yea, you really think so? I mean wow, you people in the fake science community put your research grants to fantastic use. I mean seriously, who in the blazes doesn't know drinking alcohol makes your tongues wag, and basically gets you into bar brawls you'd normally eschew while sober?
India is trying to do two things here 1. Bring in "Stricter" laws to combat drunk driving. I think if you kill someone while you are drunk, its called "negligence", and 2. Bring down Vijay Mallya's surrogate (if you can call it that, I call it brazen) advertising via the IPL for his hooch factory called United Breweries. The health minister should have better things to do, as in providing basic health care - or atleast aiming to get a fatter budget for his department to aid in better health care for India's poor. Instead he is worried that 500 Rs. a bottle hooch is going to affect the livers of the 50-something diabetic/hypertensive old man running 10 factories, and who'd most likely head to the US/UK/Alps to get his next heart-bypass/gastric-bypass done. Long story short, people who can't afford Mr. Mallya's booze are not his target customers. And rich educated people know the choices they make before setting off on their bacchnalian orgies. Mis-placed priorities is what has screwed India's polity so far, and this Ramadoss character is one awfully good example of this. "Shut up and make a difference, Mr. Minister!"
Oh yea, you really think so? I mean wow, you people in the fake science community put your research grants to fantastic use. I mean seriously, who in the blazes doesn't know drinking alcohol makes your tongues wag, and basically gets you into bar brawls you'd normally eschew while sober?
India is trying to do two things here 1. Bring in "Stricter" laws to combat drunk driving. I think if you kill someone while you are drunk, its called "negligence", and 2. Bring down Vijay Mallya's surrogate (if you can call it that, I call it brazen) advertising via the IPL for his hooch factory called United Breweries. The health minister should have better things to do, as in providing basic health care - or atleast aiming to get a fatter budget for his department to aid in better health care for India's poor. Instead he is worried that 500 Rs. a bottle hooch is going to affect the livers of the 50-something diabetic/hypertensive old man running 10 factories, and who'd most likely head to the US/UK/Alps to get his next heart-bypass/gastric-bypass done. Long story short, people who can't afford Mr. Mallya's booze are not his target customers. And rich educated people know the choices they make before setting off on their bacchnalian orgies. Mis-placed priorities is what has screwed India's polity so far, and this Ramadoss character is one awfully good example of this. "Shut up and make a difference, Mr. Minister!"
Sunday, April 27, 2008
An Inconvenient Trith - Global Warming, Myth or Myth?
I was watching Al Gore, not as a politician, but as a man of science, walk his way through genuine scientific-data, asking his audience to connect the dots on the problem that stares and slaps the world in its collective face. The one on global warming.
An inconvenient truth is a wonderful documentary. Pithy without being preachy, insightful without being alarmist, and crisp without being an overblown science lecture. Al Gore walks us through a series of informative data slides, peppered with some minor snapshots into his life, and how he has come to champion the cause of global warming, on his way to winning the Nobel prize in 2007-08.
While I am still a little skeptical on the effects of how human civilization has the scale to completely overwhelm the planet, it is not a bad idea to go with the statistics and try to rein in our respective carbon footprints. A lot of the initiative has to come from developed countries, and developing countries need to do their bit by dutifully acting upon suggestions and alternatives suggested by them. Countries like America have the wherwithal to perform research on renewable energy sources, which India and China need to take the lead in implementing such technologies.
An inconvenient truth is a wonderful documentary. Pithy without being preachy, insightful without being alarmist, and crisp without being an overblown science lecture. Al Gore walks us through a series of informative data slides, peppered with some minor snapshots into his life, and how he has come to champion the cause of global warming, on his way to winning the Nobel prize in 2007-08.
While I am still a little skeptical on the effects of how human civilization has the scale to completely overwhelm the planet, it is not a bad idea to go with the statistics and try to rein in our respective carbon footprints. A lot of the initiative has to come from developed countries, and developing countries need to do their bit by dutifully acting upon suggestions and alternatives suggested by them. Countries like America have the wherwithal to perform research on renewable energy sources, which India and China need to take the lead in implementing such technologies.
Empathy for the aggressor
The Sree vs Bhajji case is a classic case of one where the abuser gets away because the victim retracts his/her word at the last moment fearing that any punishment to the aggressor would ruin the victim's relations with them. This is especially typical in lower income Indian families where women rely on their husbands as sole income providers. In any which case, there is no justification for violence of this or any other kind, the worst kind of abuse is that of people who you are supposed to care for and protect. And yes the BCCI is right in saying that this is not an open and shut case, to be resolved between the parties, because it totally ends up sending the wrong signal - that it is okay to beat up your teammate as long as you apologize for it, and make the other person feel stupid for feeling like a victim.
Bhajji deserves the ban that he gets, and while a life ban is completely out of place in a situation like this, a 10 match ban would send the right message across. This is a non-contact sport, and we prefer to keep the decency in the Indian dressing room. Now its almost like we are going the lawless Pakistan way. And the obnoxious little weed needs to learn its lesson. And maybe this could be used as an excuse to tell Sreesanth to clean up his act as well. Too much of that staring, chortling at batsmen, and brushing past shoulders is not very cute. Give it only when someone else dishes it out. I can almost see the Oz media thrilles to bits with what has happened. Shame on us..
Bhajji deserves the ban that he gets, and while a life ban is completely out of place in a situation like this, a 10 match ban would send the right message across. This is a non-contact sport, and we prefer to keep the decency in the Indian dressing room. Now its almost like we are going the lawless Pakistan way. And the obnoxious little weed needs to learn its lesson. And maybe this could be used as an excuse to tell Sreesanth to clean up his act as well. Too much of that staring, chortling at batsmen, and brushing past shoulders is not very cute. Give it only when someone else dishes it out. I can almost see the Oz media thrilles to bits with what has happened. Shame on us..
Friday, April 25, 2008
Spicy Bhajji brings tears to Sree's eyes..
Flashback : Mumbai Indians lose to Punjab by one of the largest margins in the tournament. Harbhajan falls plumb LBW to Irfan off ball number 1.
Harbhajan, as Punjabi as Saag & Makki di Roti is in the Mumbai team, has to play against his home side. And he has to lead a bunch of no-hopers in the form of the Indians into yet another match without Sachin. Leadership weight heavy on his shoulders. As they teach you in Management school, even a bad boss can be made to look good so long as the employees slog, and are paid well. Which is where the Kolkata Knight Riders' captain Sourav Ganguly is lucky so far, and Harby has had to take a hit.
Post - match...
"Hard Luck, Mate" says Sreesanth smilingly to Harby.
"What the F is this guy smiling at?" thought Harby? "My ass is on fire here, and all he can say is Hard Luck. Let me slap his smug ass!"
THWACK! goes a right hand across Sreesanth's face...
"Ayappa!" went Sreesanth wilting under the ferocious inexplicable assault.
Once Sreesanth took a few moments to realize the folly of his smugness - all thoughts came back to his mind - maybe it was because he had dropped a few catches off of him? Or that his break dancing ways in the land of the bhangda annoyed him?
But the best reaction came from the two Aussies, Symmo and Hayders, who were last seen rolling around in their respective hotel rooms, wishing they could do the same and get away with it!
Oh, and by the way, as a side note, Bhajji needs to be disciplined in more than one way - We all have problems at our respective work places but getting physical is a big NO NO. There needs to be repurcussions.
Harbhajan, as Punjabi as Saag & Makki di Roti is in the Mumbai team, has to play against his home side. And he has to lead a bunch of no-hopers in the form of the Indians into yet another match without Sachin. Leadership weight heavy on his shoulders. As they teach you in Management school, even a bad boss can be made to look good so long as the employees slog, and are paid well. Which is where the Kolkata Knight Riders' captain Sourav Ganguly is lucky so far, and Harby has had to take a hit.
Post - match...
"Hard Luck, Mate" says Sreesanth smilingly to Harby.
"What the F is this guy smiling at?" thought Harby? "My ass is on fire here, and all he can say is Hard Luck. Let me slap his smug ass!"
THWACK! goes a right hand across Sreesanth's face...
"Ayappa!" went Sreesanth wilting under the ferocious inexplicable assault.
Once Sreesanth took a few moments to realize the folly of his smugness - all thoughts came back to his mind - maybe it was because he had dropped a few catches off of him? Or that his break dancing ways in the land of the bhangda annoyed him?
But the best reaction came from the two Aussies, Symmo and Hayders, who were last seen rolling around in their respective hotel rooms, wishing they could do the same and get away with it!
Oh, and by the way, as a side note, Bhajji needs to be disciplined in more than one way - We all have problems at our respective work places but getting physical is a big NO NO. There needs to be repurcussions.
Friday, April 18, 2008
The REAL Cricket Carnival Begins..
The 50-50 world cup ain't got shit on this form of the game. Who said the 20-over format doesn't showcase skill? Can you launch a 158 run plunder in 70-odd balls in any format of the game? Yes - then why doesn't anyone do it then? Really, I don't see an excuse why not!?
The inaugural desi-T20 tournament has begun. For a country which shunned T20, and then went on to beat all but one team to lift its first World Cup, this is remarkable progress. Indians have gotten a smack of the real-deal with the WC win, and that was the shot in the arm the game needed. It was a script Lalit Modi or the ICC couldn't have written any better. We are easily the best team in the format of the game, with the sloppy game at the MCG being the only blip on the radar of the 10 odd matches India has played so far.
And to think we spoilt our appetite leading up to the IPL with that horrible test-series against South Africa. I can't even name 5 members of the Proteas' squad without a long pause. The only reason I can re-call Graeme Smith's heroics was for his super-hot model girlfriend, "Slinky" Minky (Ok that and his fantastic 90 off 55 at the Wanderers in that massive 430+ run chase against the Aussies).
Some khadi wearing leftists, those ugly toads - warts and all - touted the T20 as being about Money, and not about the game? Hello? When we grew up back in the 80's nobody even considered sport as a career, because we knew how India treated its sportsmen. No diet, no training facilities, and worst of it all, no money to show for all your efforts. Decades of socialist rot has messed up the minds of the generations past, but the current crop of youngsters in a crude way believe in the youngistan philospophy "Chaho to sab kuch hai asaan!". And so they should!
The IPL has had a teriffic start with the Royal Challengers being Royally F-ed. To have Jaffer and Dravid open the innings is a joke I haven't quite stopped laughing at. By now, Vijay Mallya (Dr.) needs to realize that Dravid is a spent force in each and every form of the game - for a man who ditched the Indian captaincy the way he did, he went a few notches down in my view. I mean the guy chews off his fingernails as a captain when opposition players built any semblance of a partnership. With Zaks, Knoffe and Cameron White being creamed at 18+ an over, the man must have had a damn hernia!! For the Royal Challengers Dale Steyn and Kumble were definitely missed. In all, the only worry with the IPL is the overdose of cricket. My feeling is that it should get a separate 3 month slot on the International calender. Preferably in winter. April, May and June are the worst times to play cricket in India - period - we can reserve these months for tours to the Southern Hemisphere or England.
Meanwhile somewhere in the ICL studios, Kapil Dev is still harping "Am I doing something wrong?" Yes, my man, you are! you bet on the wrong horse.
The inaugural desi-T20 tournament has begun. For a country which shunned T20, and then went on to beat all but one team to lift its first World Cup, this is remarkable progress. Indians have gotten a smack of the real-deal with the WC win, and that was the shot in the arm the game needed. It was a script Lalit Modi or the ICC couldn't have written any better. We are easily the best team in the format of the game, with the sloppy game at the MCG being the only blip on the radar of the 10 odd matches India has played so far.
And to think we spoilt our appetite leading up to the IPL with that horrible test-series against South Africa. I can't even name 5 members of the Proteas' squad without a long pause. The only reason I can re-call Graeme Smith's heroics was for his super-hot model girlfriend, "Slinky" Minky (Ok that and his fantastic 90 off 55 at the Wanderers in that massive 430+ run chase against the Aussies).
Some khadi wearing leftists, those ugly toads - warts and all - touted the T20 as being about Money, and not about the game? Hello? When we grew up back in the 80's nobody even considered sport as a career, because we knew how India treated its sportsmen. No diet, no training facilities, and worst of it all, no money to show for all your efforts. Decades of socialist rot has messed up the minds of the generations past, but the current crop of youngsters in a crude way believe in the youngistan philospophy "Chaho to sab kuch hai asaan!". And so they should!
The IPL has had a teriffic start with the Royal Challengers being Royally F-ed. To have Jaffer and Dravid open the innings is a joke I haven't quite stopped laughing at. By now, Vijay Mallya (Dr.) needs to realize that Dravid is a spent force in each and every form of the game - for a man who ditched the Indian captaincy the way he did, he went a few notches down in my view. I mean the guy chews off his fingernails as a captain when opposition players built any semblance of a partnership. With Zaks, Knoffe and Cameron White being creamed at 18+ an over, the man must have had a damn hernia!! For the Royal Challengers Dale Steyn and Kumble were definitely missed. In all, the only worry with the IPL is the overdose of cricket. My feeling is that it should get a separate 3 month slot on the International calender. Preferably in winter. April, May and June are the worst times to play cricket in India - period - we can reserve these months for tours to the Southern Hemisphere or England.
Meanwhile somewhere in the ICL studios, Kapil Dev is still harping "Am I doing something wrong?" Yes, my man, you are! you bet on the wrong horse.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Colorful Emotions
Black is not a color. The absence of color is defined as black.
White is not a color but the amalgamation of all colors in the visible spectrum.
Two of the things which are visibly, and emotionally different can elicit responses which are diametrically opposite.
And yet there is a strange similarity between them.
Such is the curiosity of color. Such is the beauty that each lends to completely different situations. And yet curiously similar - is it just that the feeling of extremes should be avoided, for they are nothing but the manifestation of the one and whole same truth?
Possibly the presence of one greater truth, which when one feels very strongly either manifests itself as something very breathtakingly beautiful, or something extremely alien, hostile, dark or depressing.
White is not a color but the amalgamation of all colors in the visible spectrum.
Two of the things which are visibly, and emotionally different can elicit responses which are diametrically opposite.
And yet there is a strange similarity between them.
Such is the curiosity of color. Such is the beauty that each lends to completely different situations. And yet curiously similar - is it just that the feeling of extremes should be avoided, for they are nothing but the manifestation of the one and whole same truth?
Possibly the presence of one greater truth, which when one feels very strongly either manifests itself as something very breathtakingly beautiful, or something extremely alien, hostile, dark or depressing.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Intimidation
How does one get intimidated by anyone?
a) The person in front of them is BIG
b) The person in front is menacing/threatening in demeanour
c) The person in front of them is Powerful/Omnipotent
So anyway, some folks, who shall remain un-named said "Harish" is intimidating. I do a lot of talking to possible candidates and I've rarely, if ever, I admit, have ever lost my cool. In any case if someone causes me to lose my cool, its a definite no-no. I'm a man of infinite patience with people who come to me and say "I don't know how to do this, I have an inclination to learn, but I need some hand-holding". I've not had any god-fathers, and I've learnt a lot of things the hard way, or through providence (don't ask me how!!) - and I'm eager to share it with anyone who genuinely wants to know how, and has the patience and inclination to learn.
And for all the folks I know out there, have always known me as extremely confident person. Am I cocky? I would like to think not. Cockiness is something that you can't miss - people misunderstand forthrightness and confidence for someone who comes on too strongly. I am not going to apologize for backing myself. As an engineer its a tough world out there, there is a lot of areas in which one's contribution can be measured, and I want to be there when someone decides to sit up and take notice. But I won't sacrfice my confidence, or my humility.
a) The person in front of them is BIG
b) The person in front is menacing/threatening in demeanour
c) The person in front of them is Powerful/Omnipotent
So anyway, some folks, who shall remain un-named said "Harish" is intimidating. I do a lot of talking to possible candidates and I've rarely, if ever, I admit, have ever lost my cool. In any case if someone causes me to lose my cool, its a definite no-no. I'm a man of infinite patience with people who come to me and say "I don't know how to do this, I have an inclination to learn, but I need some hand-holding". I've not had any god-fathers, and I've learnt a lot of things the hard way, or through providence (don't ask me how!!) - and I'm eager to share it with anyone who genuinely wants to know how, and has the patience and inclination to learn.
And for all the folks I know out there, have always known me as extremely confident person. Am I cocky? I would like to think not. Cockiness is something that you can't miss - people misunderstand forthrightness and confidence for someone who comes on too strongly. I am not going to apologize for backing myself. As an engineer its a tough world out there, there is a lot of areas in which one's contribution can be measured, and I want to be there when someone decides to sit up and take notice. But I won't sacrfice my confidence, or my humility.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Great Expectations
How does it feel to be at the butt end of someone's beat-me-with-your-expectations stick?
What is the length, size, shape and color of said stick were arbitrarily different?
And what if you don't know when you would get beaten with it?
What is the length, size, shape and color of said stick were arbitrarily different?
And what if you don't know when you would get beaten with it?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
A little place called home
Hope weighs heavy on his heart
As the silent soldier walks home,
His hands aren't bloodied by battles
And the scars aren't on for show
Many battles he may have won
Still many more he has lost
Fighting on for a losing cause
For deeper still lies the cost
Fighting on without know why
He lay his life on the line
While his world around him burned
He thought all at home was fine
As he returned home to a burnt nothing
His silently held in his tears
[Finally] His hope had given up on him,
And his heart lay bare all his fears
As he cradled his dead infant in his arm
When I was out saving your hopes and dreams
You couldn't even save my family from harm
The silent soldier drew on his gun
And plunged his life into an eternal abyss
While an ungreatful country couldn't save his home
For his unborn son he couldn't even kiss...
Deflating corpulence
If you know me, you'd know how much I love jogging. And if you didn't know me, then I am a fitness freak. And if you've never met me, I am Brad Pitt's long-lost identical brother, Chad Pittanathan.
Hitting the gym was never a problem for me. But I am a misanthrope. Everything and everyone should be atleast in a radius of 3 feet away from me. I scrape against the wall as wafer-thin people walk past me in narrow corridors. The only thing I like touching me are my security blanket, when it provides me with warmth in the cool Bangalore nights.
So back to the gym - I used to be a regular jogger - @ 6 mins to a km, its not bad. Did that for about 7 months straight, sometimes even hitting the gym twice a day. Combined with a great common sense diet, it really helped me get into shape, and look better than ever before.
Suggested regimen - 25 mins of tough jogging - speed of your choice. Upper body exercises with free weights, situps, squats etc.
Morning diet : cornflakes, 6 almonds/walnuts (skimmed milk, half a spoon of sugar - no more)
Afternoon - 2 rotis, sabzis like chole, rajma, a bit of rice and curd
Night - salads, lots of veggies cut into a bowl, add salt and pepper and some lowfat dressing to taste. Some fruits - remember to fill in enough, else you will have a nagging feeling and fall into binge eating.
Last and the most important - control control control. Once your body reaches a certain metabolic state, it will automatically process junk food, provided you also exercise regularly.
And reward yourself once/twice a week, once you get results.
Happy running!
Hitting the gym was never a problem for me. But I am a misanthrope. Everything and everyone should be atleast in a radius of 3 feet away from me. I scrape against the wall as wafer-thin people walk past me in narrow corridors. The only thing I like touching me are my security blanket, when it provides me with warmth in the cool Bangalore nights.
So back to the gym - I used to be a regular jogger - @ 6 mins to a km, its not bad. Did that for about 7 months straight, sometimes even hitting the gym twice a day. Combined with a great common sense diet, it really helped me get into shape, and look better than ever before.
Suggested regimen - 25 mins of tough jogging - speed of your choice. Upper body exercises with free weights, situps, squats etc.
Morning diet : cornflakes, 6 almonds/walnuts (skimmed milk, half a spoon of sugar - no more)
Afternoon - 2 rotis, sabzis like chole, rajma, a bit of rice and curd
Night - salads, lots of veggies cut into a bowl, add salt and pepper and some lowfat dressing to taste. Some fruits - remember to fill in enough, else you will have a nagging feeling and fall into binge eating.
Last and the most important - control control control. Once your body reaches a certain metabolic state, it will automatically process junk food, provided you also exercise regularly.
And reward yourself once/twice a week, once you get results.
Happy running!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Top 5 things you don't want to hear...
COMING out of the airplane cockpit
5. I just got my commercial license today. I feel like a 16-year old again!!
4. Relax, so what if the engines are out. Today these babies practically fly themselves!!
3. Hey Herb, lookout the window. I need to find a place to park this thing before happy hour.
2. Hey Bob, look out for a gas station nearby, I think we're on fumes here!
1. Hey Osama, buddy, long time no see : So nice of you to drop into the cockpit, Say what's that? A box-cutter? GAwwwwkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Jeehad, Lhasa Style..
So it looks like the long awaited, long expected, and extremely overdue conditions in China and the provinces it forcibly controls, has come to a simmer - not yet to a boil. But its only fair in a developing country, if you do not provide sustenance to locals, and religious freedom, there is only so much that even a monk can bear. Then, it doesn't matter if the regime is one of the most shamelessly courted dictatorial, martial and openly capitalist (under the garb of communist) in the world, people will fight back. Its only expected that the intensity of the fight picks up on both sides, since China has declared a "people's war" on the poor people.
India, and its pussilanimous incompetent septugenarian leaders, have issued peeps of "anxiousness", lest the communist cur pet-dogs start yapping at their ankles again. In a day and age of coalition politics, political gimmickery, one-upmanship and laxity (in the name of human rights) has taken over India's foreign policy.
India needs to ask the Dalai Llama to ship out. His presence is a nuisance to the country, and if his presence doesn't help solve the Tibet autonomy issue for the buddhists, there is no point in the expensive cost of hosting him and his followers. He spends most of his time in made-up Shangri-La's spouting unintelligent statements at conferences - he sure does have star value, but sadly little substance. For the man who once said, its good for Tibet to be under Chinese rule so we can suck on their growth and progress, its difficult to bring out any sympathy for him, very well knowing that the very people he lords over have given up decades of their lives in solitary confinement in People's Army concentration camps. Just ask the Falungong members, and you will know what persecution means.
India, and its pussilanimous incompetent septugenarian leaders, have issued peeps of "anxiousness", lest the communist cur pet-dogs start yapping at their ankles again. In a day and age of coalition politics, political gimmickery, one-upmanship and laxity (in the name of human rights) has taken over India's foreign policy.
India needs to ask the Dalai Llama to ship out. His presence is a nuisance to the country, and if his presence doesn't help solve the Tibet autonomy issue for the buddhists, there is no point in the expensive cost of hosting him and his followers. He spends most of his time in made-up Shangri-La's spouting unintelligent statements at conferences - he sure does have star value, but sadly little substance. For the man who once said, its good for Tibet to be under Chinese rule so we can suck on their growth and progress, its difficult to bring out any sympathy for him, very well knowing that the very people he lords over have given up decades of their lives in solitary confinement in People's Army concentration camps. Just ask the Falungong members, and you will know what persecution means.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Travails of being a woe-man!
Men - those chauvinistic attitudes, those ritualistic gawkers, those pontificating patriarchs - yes the very cream of the scum of humanity. Yet curiously at the pinnacle of almost all human achievement.
How can men be the cruelest of creatures, yet genteel and the most brilliant two legged product to climb out of nature's bosom of evolution?
Before feminists, christians and the assorted tater-tots of flag wavers and crusaders pick up cudgels questioning my "slant", lets put a few things straight
1. Men are violent - given a chance we'd solve technical discussions at software companies in the mosh pit with our bosses.
2. Men are gawkers - we check out anything in a skirt
3. Men are liars, cheats and snore in bed (and they also steal your covers>
4. They are bad liars, communicators, and anything involving talk, shopping and opera gives us a kidney stone or a brain aneurysm or a McDonald's combo of both!
5. Men are also the most brilliant, and amazing creators of anything and everything from art, science, literature - par excellence is the word I'd use - anyone else is a distant second.
Nature has created men for two things - getting home the proverbial bacon and procreating. Men are absolutely terrible at anything else. Evolution be damned, apart from the gay prissy crowds of fairies and pansies masqerading around with the all-male package and dabble in home decor and fashion, men know how to hunt - There are varied levels of hunting that we've adapted to over the centuries, but the intent and procedure is the same. Which is why men drive and strive to be awesome at work, because for them their work defines their success as a man. Ask any self-respecting man, anyone who is not satisfied with their work would have terrible emo problems, and its only natural for the bacon bringer to feel so, since his work defines him.
Men have been thrown into a complex mix of sensitivity and legal and moral baggage that is at odds with the testosterone laden cocktail that is the masculine brain. While I am apologetic of the majority of gawking eve-teasing cheap talking folks of my sex, we in India have adopted a double-speak policy on sexual liberation and traditionalism. We've progressed on neither, and what these sick eve-teasers are left with is images of skimpily clad bollywood imports, and shy prudes around them. Women obviously deserve more than these sorry excuses or sperm carriers.
Men have suppressed generations of emotionally coming out for fears of being seen as less masculine, not just by women, but by their peers. While women may see this as cleansing and making them feel lighter, men absolutely hate lowering their guard and being seen as weak or too weepy. Men do not have too many options and outlets for emotional outbursts, and since it is in the nature of women to be good talkers and listeners, they should let men come out without being judgemental. I think that helps in building healthy emotional relationships.
How can men be the cruelest of creatures, yet genteel and the most brilliant two legged product to climb out of nature's bosom of evolution?
Before feminists, christians and the assorted tater-tots of flag wavers and crusaders pick up cudgels questioning my "slant", lets put a few things straight
1. Men are violent - given a chance we'd solve technical discussions at software companies in the mosh pit with our bosses.
2. Men are gawkers - we check out anything in a skirt
3. Men are liars, cheats and snore in bed (and they also steal your covers>
4. They are bad liars, communicators, and anything involving talk, shopping and opera gives us a kidney stone or a brain aneurysm or a McDonald's combo of both!
5. Men are also the most brilliant, and amazing creators of anything and everything from art, science, literature - par excellence is the word I'd use - anyone else is a distant second.
Nature has created men for two things - getting home the proverbial bacon and procreating. Men are absolutely terrible at anything else. Evolution be damned, apart from the gay prissy crowds of fairies and pansies masqerading around with the all-male package and dabble in home decor and fashion, men know how to hunt - There are varied levels of hunting that we've adapted to over the centuries, but the intent and procedure is the same. Which is why men drive and strive to be awesome at work, because for them their work defines their success as a man. Ask any self-respecting man, anyone who is not satisfied with their work would have terrible emo problems, and its only natural for the bacon bringer to feel so, since his work defines him.
Men have been thrown into a complex mix of sensitivity and legal and moral baggage that is at odds with the testosterone laden cocktail that is the masculine brain. While I am apologetic of the majority of gawking eve-teasing cheap talking folks of my sex, we in India have adopted a double-speak policy on sexual liberation and traditionalism. We've progressed on neither, and what these sick eve-teasers are left with is images of skimpily clad bollywood imports, and shy prudes around them. Women obviously deserve more than these sorry excuses or sperm carriers.
Men have suppressed generations of emotionally coming out for fears of being seen as less masculine, not just by women, but by their peers. While women may see this as cleansing and making them feel lighter, men absolutely hate lowering their guard and being seen as weak or too weepy. Men do not have too many options and outlets for emotional outbursts, and since it is in the nature of women to be good talkers and listeners, they should let men come out without being judgemental. I think that helps in building healthy emotional relationships.
What a night of driving..
Had to drop the birthgivers at the airport tonight - hmm bad timing!
Bangalore was in the clutch of just 20 minutes of rain as I started out, but her gutters overfloweth with the love from her guts that looked liked a belching intestine!
Disabled vehicles were aplenty, and the occasional kannadiga walking across outer ring road in the absence of anything even remotely close to street lights all along up until aiport road, meant playing a dangerous game of dare - I wouldn't push the pedal beyond 45kmph, and the people behind me, surprise o surprise gladly obliged, since everyone was as blind as a bat in a cave at midnight.
Oppressively bad roads and impossibly crude waste managament, lack of sewerage contributed to atleast 1-2 feet water stagnating everywhere, and my heart goes out to the brave albiet foolish two wheelers who took to the roads tonight. I salute your spirit, and I hope you get back home to your loved ones, but please don't venture out on nights like these. Hopefully common sense prevailed over the hoi polloi, and we'd see some sane driving in namma Bengaluru.. I can't imagine if this were Devanahalli aiport, I'd not only not be home before mid-night, I'd also have a dislocated spine from all the bending, wiping, hooting, clutching, braking & the like-gripe.
Have a safe night tonight Bengaluru, rise and shine tomorrow!
Bangalore was in the clutch of just 20 minutes of rain as I started out, but her gutters overfloweth with the love from her guts that looked liked a belching intestine!
Disabled vehicles were aplenty, and the occasional kannadiga walking across outer ring road in the absence of anything even remotely close to street lights all along up until aiport road, meant playing a dangerous game of dare - I wouldn't push the pedal beyond 45kmph, and the people behind me, surprise o surprise gladly obliged, since everyone was as blind as a bat in a cave at midnight.
Oppressively bad roads and impossibly crude waste managament, lack of sewerage contributed to atleast 1-2 feet water stagnating everywhere, and my heart goes out to the brave albiet foolish two wheelers who took to the roads tonight. I salute your spirit, and I hope you get back home to your loved ones, but please don't venture out on nights like these. Hopefully common sense prevailed over the hoi polloi, and we'd see some sane driving in namma Bengaluru.. I can't imagine if this were Devanahalli aiport, I'd not only not be home before mid-night, I'd also have a dislocated spine from all the bending, wiping, hooting, clutching, braking & the like-gripe.
Have a safe night tonight Bengaluru, rise and shine tomorrow!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
International Woman's day
Its a day for the propogandists to further their "cause" - what exactly that may be is left open to interpretation - preferential treatment, sops, reservation, freebies. Pile it on, I'm in minority, and I want to make the most of it!
So we have an "International" Woman's Day - as in not national or pan national or SAARC, but "International". When there is a desperate need to highlight the plight of women in backward socio-economic conditions, the agenda get hijacked by non-self made rabid feminists, women who got rich through bequeathing the family crown, socialites, models and a pot pourri of high-flying bimbos.
The greatest victory for men worldwide from the bra-burning "liberated" feminists of yore, proclaiming sexual independence was much more than ages of partiarchy could ever achieve for them. When women screamed the shrillest that they don't want to be judged for having multiple sexual partners, men had hit the proverbial jackpot - every woman who wanted a booty call, could just call on a man, "More power to women" sniggered men.
There are major women issues in this country, which are attributed to rabidly patriarchial backward (emotionally, not just financially) attitudes, that need to be broached, brought out into the open and stomped out
1. Female infanticide, foetecide
2. Lack of financial independence which hurts independent partner selection
3. Trafficking of women
Over-priced bimbos on bollywood silver-screens who charge over 5 million rupees for vulgar dance numbers that serve no purpose than to tittilate audiences are the worst ambassadors for women. Such women cannot claim discrimination, its ironic, since the very demand of the business is something akin to flesh trading, and it would be best that they either do something positively for their backward sisters in the country or just stop paying lip-service.
Attitudes towards women will never change due to socio-biological factors. It is not that a man chooses to be a chauvinist, as much as an independent woman chooses to be a feminist, and no matter the development strides we make as a civilization, we are still slaves to our animal instincts. Animals in nature carry out gender roles, so how are we any different. The solution to the problem lies in accepting and catering to differences, not trying to force stereotypical templates of neutered & sterile manhood on the not-so-fairer sex.
So we have an "International" Woman's Day - as in not national or pan national or SAARC, but "International". When there is a desperate need to highlight the plight of women in backward socio-economic conditions, the agenda get hijacked by non-self made rabid feminists, women who got rich through bequeathing the family crown, socialites, models and a pot pourri of high-flying bimbos.
The greatest victory for men worldwide from the bra-burning "liberated" feminists of yore, proclaiming sexual independence was much more than ages of partiarchy could ever achieve for them. When women screamed the shrillest that they don't want to be judged for having multiple sexual partners, men had hit the proverbial jackpot - every woman who wanted a booty call, could just call on a man, "More power to women" sniggered men.
There are major women issues in this country, which are attributed to rabidly patriarchial backward (emotionally, not just financially) attitudes, that need to be broached, brought out into the open and stomped out
1. Female infanticide, foetecide
2. Lack of financial independence which hurts independent partner selection
3. Trafficking of women
Over-priced bimbos on bollywood silver-screens who charge over 5 million rupees for vulgar dance numbers that serve no purpose than to tittilate audiences are the worst ambassadors for women. Such women cannot claim discrimination, its ironic, since the very demand of the business is something akin to flesh trading, and it would be best that they either do something positively for their backward sisters in the country or just stop paying lip-service.
Attitudes towards women will never change due to socio-biological factors. It is not that a man chooses to be a chauvinist, as much as an independent woman chooses to be a feminist, and no matter the development strides we make as a civilization, we are still slaves to our animal instincts. Animals in nature carry out gender roles, so how are we any different. The solution to the problem lies in accepting and catering to differences, not trying to force stereotypical templates of neutered & sterile manhood on the not-so-fairer sex.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Safety First, s'il vous plait
My gripe with car companies in India, either Indian or foreign is that their approach towards safety goes for a complete toss. I consider an approach towards safety as a two pronged approach
1. Mention of crash-test results from either tests in India or abroad
2. A safety-centric approach during marketing of their product to consumers
Countries like America do not allow cars to get on to their roads unless they pass specific road safety tests to make it crash-worthy. Which is quite optimistic considering most interstates enforce a 70mph (*65 is most states, unlimited with restrictions in some others) speed limit - which is far less than the total absence of control in India selling the camries, accords, and beemers to eager beaver yuppie Indian customers.
Now in India even people forking out 20 lakhs don't know that cars need to be built for safety. And that means a strong chassis, crumple zones, air-bags, ABS
and other things. In fact safety in India is always an "option" and thrown in only in high-end vehicles. And most companies dont seem to be selling those features, because they know the number of cars sold in this category will be few, and paying lip-service to safety may get the occassional US-returned NRI to buy the car.
We can debate the driving habits of Indian cabbies all we want - what is not pardonable is that when you had an option to save yourself, car companies did nothing to push up prices a bit and make these features as standard. Its ironic, that these features are required in India a lot more than they would in a more disciplined driving environment.
Coming back to point 2, I wish to dissect a few car ads
1) Ford Fiesta - guy lights up some torches using his car , shows that he does 120kmph in what seems to me a distance less than 50m - If you use simple kinetics, I am not very sure you can achieve this, but that's another folly of the ad. Ad sends no sense of value of the product and in fact glorifies bad driving, skidding, and near misses
2) Maruti Suzuki Swift - Boss takes the employee's car for a spin without his permission - Ok, that is strike one, I don't care if you are the CEO of my company, but you are not touching my wheels without my permission - A few outrageous spins, and 360 donuts later the boss comes back in one piece.
3) Chevrolet Aveo - Saif and Rani, your brains have been screwed on backwards - why is Saif trying to overtake you, like a Punjabi on testosterone? And then he drives backwards - I get no information on the product, and the ad is definitely a seller for how not to drive to impress chicks (which is also the outcome).
4) Hyundai i10 - When not baring his fabulously GAY 6-pack, Shahrukh eggs on blondes in Kawasakis to race his 66 hp i10 somewhere in Powai, Mumbai. Fallacy exposed. His first question to the bombshell is "Wanna race" - I URGE ALL READERS WITH VEHICLES - Please go through details of your vehicular insurance to read the following lines "Other than willful racing OR Organized speed trials" as a disclaimer for insurance payouts - what you are doing is not only ILLEGAL. but also doesn't get you a single paisa when you crash and burn.
5) Skoda- White skinned man, races against an F-16. Fallacy exposed - lets not go there. Its sickening. Probably not as bad as the others, but still pretty irresponsible from the Czech/Germans.
There are over a 1,00,000 people in this country who die out of avoidable accidents. We need driver discipline on the streets and corporate responsibility in the boardrooms. Only then we can not worry everytime a loved one gets late from work, that they haven't been overrun by some heavy vehicle, or atleast a well-designed vehicle and seatbelts has saved a loved ones' life.
1. Mention of crash-test results from either tests in India
2. A safety-centric approach during marketing of their product to consumers
Countries like America do not allow cars to get on to their roads unless they pass specific road safety tests to make it crash-worthy. Which is quite optimistic considering most interstates enforce a 70mph (*65 is most states, unlimited with restrictions in some others) speed limit - which is far less than the total absence of control in India selling the camries, accords, and beemers to eager beaver yuppie Indian customers.
Now in India even people forking out 20 lakhs don't know that cars need to be built for safety. And that means a strong chassis, crumple zones, air-bags, ABS
and other things. In fact safety in India is always an "option" and thrown in only in high-end vehicles. And most companies dont seem to be selling those features, because they know the number of cars sold in this category will be few, and paying lip-service to safety may get the occassional US-returned NRI to buy the car.
We can debate the driving habits of Indian cabbies all we want - what is not pardonable is that when you had an option to save yourself, car companies did nothing to push up prices a bit and make these features as standard. Its ironic, that these features are required in India a lot more than they would in a more disciplined driving environment.
Coming back to point 2, I wish to dissect a few car ads
1) Ford Fiesta - guy lights up some torches using his car
2) Maruti Suzuki Swift - Boss takes the employee's car for a spin without his permission - Ok, that is strike one, I don't care if you are the CEO of my company, but you are not touching my wheels without my permission - A few outrageous spins, and 360 donuts later the boss comes back in one piece.
3) Chevrolet Aveo - Saif and Rani, your brains have been screwed on backwards - why is Saif trying to overtake you, like a Punjabi on testosterone? And then he drives backwards - I get no information on the product, and the ad is definitely a seller for how not to drive to impress chicks (which is also the outcome).
4) Hyundai i10 - When not baring his fabulously GAY 6-pack, Shahrukh eggs on blondes in Kawasakis to race his 66 hp i10 somewhere in Powai, Mumbai. Fallacy exposed. His first question to the bombshell is "Wanna race" - I URGE ALL READERS WITH VEHICLES - Please go through details of your vehicular insurance to read the following lines "Other than willful racing OR Organized speed trials" as a disclaimer for insurance payouts - what you are doing is not only ILLEGAL. but also doesn't get you a single paisa when you crash and burn.
5) Skoda- White skinned man, races against an F-16. Fallacy exposed - lets not go there. Its sickening. Probably not as bad as the others, but still pretty irresponsible from the Czech/Germans.
There are over a 1,00,000 people in this country who die out of avoidable accidents. We need driver discipline on the streets and corporate responsibility in the boardrooms. Only then we can not worry everytime a loved one gets late from work, that they haven't been overrun by some heavy vehicle, or atleast a well-designed vehicle and seatbelts has saved a loved ones' life.
Friday, March 07, 2008
If you meet me..
Some of my favorite quips:
1> Sweet...
2> That's right!
3> Gawd Damnit!!
4> Oh my Gawd, you guys..
5> Well, you know...
6> Sweet Jesus..
In the words of the great Bartholemew Simpson, "Eat my shorts"..
1> Sweet...
2> That's right!
3> Gawd Damnit!!
4> Oh my Gawd, you guys..
5> Well, you know...
6> Sweet Jesus..
In the words of the great Bartholemew Simpson, "Eat my shorts"..
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