I was on my way to grab some spirituality and a meal on my way back.
Right about on the road that leads to purple haze and a clutch of seemingly half drunk drivers ducking and weaving, and a toyota corolla in front of me slams the brakes - too late for the thunderbird which stops like the Queen Mary - My bike skidded and slipped under the corolla's boot. So while I am extricating myself, a mild mannered guy steps out of the car and quips : "He braked too hard" - I said what can I do - then without a thought to whether I was okay or not, proceeds to check underneath the boot of his precious fu#@ing vehicle. I told him - don't fuc@#ing panic - its okay, and of course it was. My fender caught a bit of the paint, and looks like the fork has taken a slight beating in the mangled mess - and my foot and back dont feel very good either. All this for a traffic incident at 20 km/hr. I need to sleep this off, and the bike needs a visit to the shop to check for any damages. Not a great start to the week, I'd say!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
ICC World T20 2013 : SWAT
Greetings and Salutaitons from Mingora, capital of the SWAT valley, lying on the western border of lovely and safe Pakistan.
Khidmat Hussain, Governer of the valley of SWAT said : "Our lovely state has offered to the ICC to host the 2013 ICC World T20 Championship. We expect this move to help justify the universal understanding of the SWAT area as the most peaceful place on earth. Our denizens are lover of the game of cricket and appreciate a good game between the Muslims and the Kafirs."
Meanwhile ICC Chariman Shri Sharad Pawar, who besides holding onto positions as BCCI Chief, and Prime Minister of India [in that freak election in 2009 where the Jaago Re campaign cause such frivolous voting from confused youngsters, it led to a three way tie, and all the pseudo secular parties decided to shove the biggest blackmailer into the position of power, aka Shir Sharad Pawar], recently agreed to tour SWAT in a cursory move to review the security situation in the area. However, what he said was not very clear to the media since his lips now dangle from left to right - a lot more han before, because of which no body but no body knows what India's official stance is on any position since 2009.
The Australians earlier were up in arms over the move from moving the ICC World T20 championship from Australia to SWAT. Cricket Australia chairman Andrew Symonds threatened to blow up the ICC office in Kilinochi, while CA chief spokesperson Matthew Hayden called Sharad Pawar an "obnoxious little weed". Also ex-captain Ricky Ponting called this a "cheap shot by the big bloke" in apparently a response to Sharad Pawar being shoved off the victory podium during the Aussie victory of an ICC Champions Trophy back in 2007.
This was in response to the ICC fact-finding team's assessment on the security situation in Australia as "very grim". Australian Prime Minister Loud Howard cursed the 2009 American induced re-settlement plan of the Taliban in the Western Australian desert as "biggest bloody mistake" in the "great history of Australia". When questioned about the "felony past" of Australians Prime Minister Howard called it a "racist sub-continental concoction".
Meanwhile SWAT valley is scheduled to host the biggest gala event of the cricket millenium. With the resettlement of the Taliban in Western Australia, Pashtun women are now free to compete for positions as cheer-leaders for various teams. Some teams have vowed to carry their own cheer-leading squad, especially the Afghanistan team which has teamed up with the Dallas Cowboys. Meanwhile the Indian contingent has refused to send their cheer leading squad after Pramod Muthalik, now Indian MOS for Culture and Vice Prevention deemed such activities as Un-Indian.
So the stage is all set for an amazing game of cricket during the SWAT summer. American President Sarah Palin has herself vowed to come down and have a look at the "hot diggity dog its just like baseball" and inaugurate the great sporting event. Meanwhile women from Buner's PIM [Pakistan Institute of Manamgement for Women] are looking at ways at making this event a commercial success as part of their finaly year project study. All in all the T20 showcases the logistical ability of SWAT to conduct this event with no untoward incidents whatsoever, and gives a chance for the people of war-torn countries like Australia and England to have their hearts opened to the hospitable people of SWAT.
Khidmat Hussain, Governer of the valley of SWAT said : "Our lovely state has offered to the ICC to host the 2013 ICC World T20 Championship. We expect this move to help justify the universal understanding of the SWAT area as the most peaceful place on earth. Our denizens are lover of the game of cricket and appreciate a good game between the Muslims and the Kafirs."
Meanwhile ICC Chariman Shri Sharad Pawar, who besides holding onto positions as BCCI Chief, and Prime Minister of India [in that freak election in 2009 where the Jaago Re campaign cause such frivolous voting from confused youngsters, it led to a three way tie, and all the pseudo secular parties decided to shove the biggest blackmailer into the position of power, aka Shir Sharad Pawar], recently agreed to tour SWAT in a cursory move to review the security situation in the area. However, what he said was not very clear to the media since his lips now dangle from left to right - a lot more han before, because of which no body but no body knows what India's official stance is on any position since 2009.
The Australians earlier were up in arms over the move from moving the ICC World T20 championship from Australia to SWAT. Cricket Australia chairman Andrew Symonds threatened to blow up the ICC office in Kilinochi, while CA chief spokesperson Matthew Hayden called Sharad Pawar an "obnoxious little weed". Also ex-captain Ricky Ponting called this a "cheap shot by the big bloke" in apparently a response to Sharad Pawar being shoved off the victory podium during the Aussie victory of an ICC Champions Trophy back in 2007.
This was in response to the ICC fact-finding team's assessment on the security situation in Australia as "very grim". Australian Prime Minister Loud Howard cursed the 2009 American induced re-settlement plan of the Taliban in the Western Australian desert as "biggest bloody mistake" in the "great history of Australia". When questioned about the "felony past" of Australians Prime Minister Howard called it a "racist sub-continental concoction".
Meanwhile SWAT valley is scheduled to host the biggest gala event of the cricket millenium. With the resettlement of the Taliban in Western Australia, Pashtun women are now free to compete for positions as cheer-leaders for various teams. Some teams have vowed to carry their own cheer-leading squad, especially the Afghanistan team which has teamed up with the Dallas Cowboys. Meanwhile the Indian contingent has refused to send their cheer leading squad after Pramod Muthalik, now Indian MOS for Culture and Vice Prevention deemed such activities as Un-Indian.
So the stage is all set for an amazing game of cricket during the SWAT summer. American President Sarah Palin has herself vowed to come down and have a look at the "hot diggity dog its just like baseball" and inaugurate the great sporting event. Meanwhile women from Buner's PIM [Pakistan Institute of Manamgement for Women] are looking at ways at making this event a commercial success as part of their finaly year project study. All in all the T20 showcases the logistical ability of SWAT to conduct this event with no untoward incidents whatsoever, and gives a chance for the people of war-torn countries like Australia and England to have their hearts opened to the hospitable people of SWAT.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Dagger through the Heart
Scars of your angry words
A schism in my heart
Turned my world upside-down
And tore my life apart
Where were you in my misfortune?
Where were you in my pain?
Dithered to stand beside me
Was this love all in vain?
If all you ever wanted
Was what I never had
O'why did we have this drama
Of a love we nev'er had?
As you walk out that door
Into the world, cold and dark
I feel the seething pain
Of that dagger thru' my heart
A schism in my heart
Turned my world upside-down
And tore my life apart
Where were you in my misfortune?
Where were you in my pain?
Dithered to stand beside me
Was this love all in vain?
If all you ever wanted
Was what I never had
O'why did we have this drama
Of a love we nev'er had?
As you walk out that door
Into the world, cold and dark
I feel the seething pain
Of that dagger thru' my heart
SWAT Cats
Does anyone recall the SWAT Kats? Or was it SWAT Cats? It used to play around on TV during the late 90's - and I always recall watching it eating an tomato-onion uthappam delciously lobbed by my dear loving mother. Was it after I came back from college? Oh, I don't know - it was the cable age, but there still weren't reality shows like MTV Hero Honda Roadies around, so I guess SWAT Kats [or was it SWAT Katz now, I am really confused] would have to make do.
I only recall T-Bone and Razr [or was it Razor - is that what inspired the Moto Phone?], and a hardassed cop whose city was policed with loads of choppers. The Kats had a combat aircraft which pretty much bordered on the looking like F-14 Tomcat but flies like a Britsh Navy Harrier and flight dynamics of a F-35 with the computing power of the internet stashed away somewhere. Very impressive.
10 years on and this is the only picture I can get of the SWAT Kats : Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
So here is my song, an ode, a tribute to the gentle people of SWAT valley, the true radical squadron...
I get up in the morning
To the sound of the azaan
Every morning is Allah's blessing
For my day is really really fun
I am part of the virtue squadron
We have duty everyday
We pick up men with moustaches
And shaven freaks along the way
We impose the law of Sharia
In the valley of lovely SWAT
For that is the word of Muhammed
I know the Qu'ran by heart
Beating up defensless women
Who in public they'd be seen
With men who aren't relatives
Or showing off a bit of skin
Allah praise SWAT valley
We are imposing His holy word
Soon inshallah we will rule
With the letter of the sword
Who cares about education
Schools for women are a waste
Get caught with a book in SWAT
And lashes turn you into paste
Don't hate us for it
Allah wishes and we do
Just look at your family member
Who is holding you down too
So Allah Praise SWAT
The Switzerland of the East
And down with democracy
Coz its such a fu!@ing Beast !!!!
I only recall T-Bone and Razr [or was it Razor - is that what inspired the Moto Phone?], and a hardassed cop whose city was policed with loads of choppers. The Kats had a combat aircraft which pretty much bordered on the looking like F-14 Tomcat but flies like a Britsh Navy Harrier and flight dynamics of a F-35 with the computing power of the internet stashed away somewhere. Very impressive.
10 years on and this is the only picture I can get of the SWAT Kats : Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
So here is my song, an ode, a tribute to the gentle people of SWAT valley, the true radical squadron...
I get up in the morning
To the sound of the azaan
Every morning is Allah's blessing
For my day is really really fun
I am part of the virtue squadron
We have duty everyday
We pick up men with moustaches
And shaven freaks along the way
We impose the law of Sharia
In the valley of lovely SWAT
For that is the word of Muhammed
I know the Qu'ran by heart
Beating up defensless women
Who in public they'd be seen
With men who aren't relatives
Or showing off a bit of skin
Allah praise SWAT valley
We are imposing His holy word
Soon inshallah we will rule
With the letter of the sword
Who cares about education
Schools for women are a waste
Get caught with a book in SWAT
And lashes turn you into paste
Don't hate us for it
Allah wishes and we do
Just look at your family member
Who is holding you down too
So Allah Praise SWAT
The Switzerland of the East
And down with democracy
Coz its such a fu!@ing Beast !!!!
IPL, Part Deux
What would make the IPL even more interesting
1. Absence of Bimbettes and Male Bimbos on Sony's Set MAX hosting shows, half-time intervals and tactical breaks. If I want glamor I am anyway watching the white skinned South African Blondes shake their stuff.
2. NDTV stops shouting why IPL2 is all the rage in south africa by force feeding Indian cricket down a tube in every "indian origin" south african. "Oh, we love Indian culture" coos on dreadlocked brown girl "Aishwayrya, Amitabh Bachchan" - yes we all are proud of our 35 years of civilization thank you very much descendant of coolies.
IPL is an IPL - no matter where the carnival goes. Trouble is how the BCCI and the team owners recover their cost. Come to think of it, I don't understand beyond the cost of the winning team's cheque what else does a team lying say 7th or 8th lose over the guys who come in first? More airtime perhaps? It seems to me that this is a place where Shah Rukh always trumps India Cement Chairman for sheer popularity [or poor taste of the desi crowd, but hey I don't have a six-pack, who am I to begrudge him that!?].
My pick for the year as was last year was the Chennai Super Kings simply because captain cool Dhoni is in chage. However, Dhoni has turned out to be like one of those project leads in IT Companies - he wants to be a team lead, but doesn't want to do any hands on work. He will tell the fielders where to stand, bring on the right bowlers and shuffle the batting order, but will not do anything by himself with the bat. Heck that is sad for a guy who cracks over a million dont you think? And what has Andrew Freddie Flintoff done for CSK so far - he has looked the worse player - perhaps Morkel has something to say about that, but atleast he isnt overpaid - and now he is heading home with an injury. People were right - he is a tremendously overrated player. Pity though, buying him still isnt the worst decision made.
Meanwhile the Deccan Chargers seem to get better with each outing, and that is good to see - especially since the Indian talent over there is doing its job too.
Who wants the elections anyway? Its the same thing - either the crook or the thief lords over you - just get over this democratic farce and give us folks some good entertainment. I was keen on watching atleast one or two of the CSK home matches this year - but stupid P Chidambaram had to throw it all away.
Side note : Tennis Australia has refused to send a team to placid chennai citing security concerns for which they will get docked both money and playing rights for a year. Hahahah - talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Good riddance, we dont want your convicts setting our stadium on fire.
1. Absence of Bimbettes and Male Bimbos on Sony's Set MAX hosting shows, half-time intervals and tactical breaks. If I want glamor I am anyway watching the white skinned South African Blondes shake their stuff.
2. NDTV stops shouting why IPL2 is all the rage in south africa by force feeding Indian cricket down a tube in every "indian origin" south african. "Oh, we love Indian culture" coos on dreadlocked brown girl "Aishwayrya, Amitabh Bachchan" - yes we all are proud of our 35 years of civilization thank you very much descendant of coolies.
IPL is an IPL - no matter where the carnival goes. Trouble is how the BCCI and the team owners recover their cost. Come to think of it, I don't understand beyond the cost of the winning team's cheque what else does a team lying say 7th or 8th lose over the guys who come in first? More airtime perhaps? It seems to me that this is a place where Shah Rukh always trumps India Cement Chairman for sheer popularity [or poor taste of the desi crowd, but hey I don't have a six-pack, who am I to begrudge him that!?].
My pick for the year as was last year was the Chennai Super Kings simply because captain cool Dhoni is in chage. However, Dhoni has turned out to be like one of those project leads in IT Companies - he wants to be a team lead, but doesn't want to do any hands on work. He will tell the fielders where to stand, bring on the right bowlers and shuffle the batting order, but will not do anything by himself with the bat. Heck that is sad for a guy who cracks over a million dont you think? And what has Andrew Freddie Flintoff done for CSK so far - he has looked the worse player - perhaps Morkel has something to say about that, but atleast he isnt overpaid - and now he is heading home with an injury. People were right - he is a tremendously overrated player. Pity though, buying him still isnt the worst decision made.
Meanwhile the Deccan Chargers seem to get better with each outing, and that is good to see - especially since the Indian talent over there is doing its job too.
Who wants the elections anyway? Its the same thing - either the crook or the thief lords over you - just get over this democratic farce and give us folks some good entertainment. I was keen on watching atleast one or two of the CSK home matches this year - but stupid P Chidambaram had to throw it all away.
Side note : Tennis Australia has refused to send a team to placid chennai citing security concerns for which they will get docked both money and playing rights for a year. Hahahah - talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Good riddance, we dont want your convicts setting our stadium on fire.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Ragging : Myths and Myths
A kid from Kerala studying at Coimbatore's PSG college is almost blinded. His injured eyes are a pain to look at. I really feel for the poor kid.
His "seniors" asked him to lick their boots and part with Rs.3000/-. IS this ragging? Or is this extortion, hooliganism and attempted murder?
There are quite a few folks who extol the "virtues of ragging".
Myth 1. Ragging makes you a man/woman. You become independent and can fend for yourself
Where is the fu#@ing bravery when 10 oversized seniors pounce on a kid who can't even find his way around campus? You tell me what ritual such as undressing, or being brutally beaten up, or even doing a song or a dance have to do with making a man out of someone. And if they aren't then who the f#$k are these seniors to turn them into men/women - is this some form of social service we are unaware of in society?
Myth 2. Ragging brings seniors and juniors closer : I got to know my senior better after he made love to me.
At the end of the day leveraging power to abuse someone does not bring people closer. It simply creates a dependency between two people and you can get eternal subservience from the other person. If you have to go through a hazing ritual to be friends, such friends are not worth having at all.
Myth 3. Ragging is ragging.
Ragging is a polite term for sexual, mental, verbal and physical abuse. This is a harsher crime that actually crosses multiple boundaries of illegality, and hence should have the harshest punishment, including the death penalty to be applied depending on the circumstances. Can you imagine the pain Mr. Kachroo's father has to go through to light the funeral pyre of his son, and fight in the Supreme court, just to get the management kick out the useless Principal of the college. Its another matter how he has to deal with the murderers of his son.
Myth 4. There are varying degrees of ragging.
Who the heck are you to decide it? Stay away from the juniors when they join college. Let them find their own way around. If you have been boned by your seniors, it doesnt give you the right to go about raising hell in the lives of poor kids who've come to the college.
Myth 5. Ragging prevents students from "mixing" together
If you are bent of boning new kids, you better not be allowed to get close to them. IF your intentions are indeed noble, time will allow for you to be respected and to engage in some fruitful friendships with the newbies.
Student who are involved in ragging are like vultures - you could see them hang around campus and attempt to harangue anyone and everyone who passes their way in the initial days of college. Law enforcement should be allowed inside colleges to curb with this menace. When kids know someone is watching their back, they can go ahead with the task of getting used to college life. Because ragging sure as hell isn't going to help them.
His "seniors" asked him to lick their boots and part with Rs.3000/-. IS this ragging? Or is this extortion, hooliganism and attempted murder?
There are quite a few folks who extol the "virtues of ragging".
Myth 1. Ragging makes you a man/woman. You become independent and can fend for yourself
Where is the fu#@ing bravery when 10 oversized seniors pounce on a kid who can't even find his way around campus? You tell me what ritual such as undressing, or being brutally beaten up, or even doing a song or a dance have to do with making a man out of someone. And if they aren't then who the f#$k are these seniors to turn them into men/women - is this some form of social service we are unaware of in society?
Myth 2. Ragging brings seniors and juniors closer : I got to know my senior better after he made love to me.
At the end of the day leveraging power to abuse someone does not bring people closer. It simply creates a dependency between two people and you can get eternal subservience from the other person. If you have to go through a hazing ritual to be friends, such friends are not worth having at all.
Myth 3. Ragging is ragging.
Ragging is a polite term for sexual, mental, verbal and physical abuse. This is a harsher crime that actually crosses multiple boundaries of illegality, and hence should have the harshest punishment, including the death penalty to be applied depending on the circumstances. Can you imagine the pain Mr. Kachroo's father has to go through to light the funeral pyre of his son, and fight in the Supreme court, just to get the management kick out the useless Principal of the college. Its another matter how he has to deal with the murderers of his son.
Myth 4. There are varying degrees of ragging.
Who the heck are you to decide it? Stay away from the juniors when they join college. Let them find their own way around. If you have been boned by your seniors, it doesnt give you the right to go about raising hell in the lives of poor kids who've come to the college.
Myth 5. Ragging prevents students from "mixing" together
If you are bent of boning new kids, you better not be allowed to get close to them. IF your intentions are indeed noble, time will allow for you to be respected and to engage in some fruitful friendships with the newbies.
Student who are involved in ragging are like vultures - you could see them hang around campus and attempt to harangue anyone and everyone who passes their way in the initial days of college. Law enforcement should be allowed inside colleges to curb with this menace. When kids know someone is watching their back, they can go ahead with the task of getting used to college life. Because ragging sure as hell isn't going to help them.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Respect Women - No Questions Asked...
In Michael Moore's Sicko - and very often in life they say the true character of a country can be judged by how it treats its weakest. To me it applies to how it treats its women as well. The more I find the oxymoron of Indians worshipping women dieities true, the more ugliness I find in the behavior of its men towards women. It's been a terribly sickening Saturday morning when I open a newspaper and all I find is violence against women, of such depravity, it nearly made me throw up.
Unfortunately, the way in which Indian men and women themselves treat the women of this country is downright disgusting. I find that this is not just systemic bias, but just like its caste system, its some sort of latent hatred towards women - which pours out in each and every activity men do - and each and everything they say to them - its down right patronizing tone and revolting undercurrents. I do not understand how you cannot do any value judgement of your significant others in life! This creeps through all strata of society - women with no economic independence and no say in the role of planning their family fall prey to the debauchery of men all over.
Its an endemic plague afflicting society, and I find this abuse is very strongly tied to the absence of economic and sexual freedom for women - The moment this happens and women have greater say in choosing who their partners are and when they are interested in family, it would lead to lesser of this abuse - but the scope for exploitation still exists - as long as we have a nation full of pimps - either in the family or outside of them.
There is no new reason I need to give for asking the men of this country to stop this brazen and disgusting violence and repression of women - What the Taliban did to the woman in SWAT is just a mirror of what happens in our country as well - there is real good scope to give women the freedom they deserve in making decisions and of course they will make mistakes - but then who doesn't. We need special laws against this subjugation of 1/2 of our country, and unless we do, forget super power status - we won't respect ourselves as a nation.
It needs a serious change of attitude of the lot. Easier said than done!
Unfortunately, the way in which Indian men and women themselves treat the women of this country is downright disgusting. I find that this is not just systemic bias, but just like its caste system, its some sort of latent hatred towards women - which pours out in each and every activity men do - and each and everything they say to them - its down right patronizing tone and revolting undercurrents. I do not understand how you cannot do any value judgement of your significant others in life! This creeps through all strata of society - women with no economic independence and no say in the role of planning their family fall prey to the debauchery of men all over.
Its an endemic plague afflicting society, and I find this abuse is very strongly tied to the absence of economic and sexual freedom for women - The moment this happens and women have greater say in choosing who their partners are and when they are interested in family, it would lead to lesser of this abuse - but the scope for exploitation still exists - as long as we have a nation full of pimps - either in the family or outside of them.
There is no new reason I need to give for asking the men of this country to stop this brazen and disgusting violence and repression of women - What the Taliban did to the woman in SWAT is just a mirror of what happens in our country as well - there is real good scope to give women the freedom they deserve in making decisions and of course they will make mistakes - but then who doesn't. We need special laws against this subjugation of 1/2 of our country, and unless we do, forget super power status - we won't respect ourselves as a nation.
It needs a serious change of attitude of the lot. Easier said than done!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Goody Two Shoes
Well.. after a fairly short and not-so-protracted battle against cervical cancer, Jade Goody, aka racist foul-mouth white-trash wench, has finally kicked the bucket at the ripe age of 27, and leaves behind two little sons. Sad part that..
Jade's cruel twist of fate, and Shilpa Shetty's rising stars are so in the opposite worlds that any one who believes in astrology cannot but wonder how two totally different people from separate continents, have such reversals of fortune, that its sickening.
Of course both are camera-grabbing, sound-byte giving, over-the-top acting attention whores, and their apparent lack of talents are overshadowed by the fact that people are willing to give in to any sloppy fight between two grown women on the telly.
Jade's wedding a month before her death, serves us to remind that gold diggers reside on both side of the gender fence. She made over a million pounds in selling the rights to her wedding, and the rights from all her interviews, her two books [two books by age 27? I can't even write a single chapter!] had made her rich.. And a newly wedded grieving widower who is most likely going to hit the dating circuit in the coming days. Watch out english women! Here come the husband of the english patient..
God knows what is Jade's gift to this planet - she lead a life in below average surroundings, held mediocre jobs, and the Big Brother riff gave her the status of a rockstar. Even suburban middle class Indian men know "Jade Gooooody", if only her claim to fame were a supposed "racist rant" against "poppadum Shetty" - who the fu$# uses the work "Poppadum" anyway - I always thought it was "Lijjat Paapad" or the more tamil-ized "Appalaam" mmmm tasty.
Jade didn't die soon enough - her fight laster almost 6 days more than what was expected. That gave TV channels 6 more days of banal reporting. Bye-bye Miss Not-so-Goody Two Shoes.. RIP..
Jade's cruel twist of fate, and Shilpa Shetty's rising stars are so in the opposite worlds that any one who believes in astrology cannot but wonder how two totally different people from separate continents, have such reversals of fortune, that its sickening.
Of course both are camera-grabbing, sound-byte giving, over-the-top acting attention whores, and their apparent lack of talents are overshadowed by the fact that people are willing to give in to any sloppy fight between two grown women on the telly.
Jade's wedding a month before her death, serves us to remind that gold diggers reside on both side of the gender fence. She made over a million pounds in selling the rights to her wedding, and the rights from all her interviews, her two books [two books by age 27? I can't even write a single chapter!] had made her rich.. And a newly wedded grieving widower who is most likely going to hit the dating circuit in the coming days. Watch out english women! Here come the husband of the english patient..
God knows what is Jade's gift to this planet - she lead a life in below average surroundings, held mediocre jobs, and the Big Brother riff gave her the status of a rockstar. Even suburban middle class Indian men know "Jade Gooooody", if only her claim to fame were a supposed "racist rant" against "poppadum Shetty" - who the fu$# uses the work "Poppadum" anyway - I always thought it was "Lijjat Paapad" or the more tamil-ized "Appalaam" mmmm tasty.
Jade didn't die soon enough - her fight laster almost 6 days more than what was expected. That gave TV channels 6 more days of banal reporting. Bye-bye Miss Not-so-Goody Two Shoes.. RIP..
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Womens' Day
Another western concept tries to find its niche here in India. First it was hallmark's Valentine's day, then it was what - Father's day, Mother's day - ever wonder why the American's don't have children's day or teacher's day celebrated - it is because of the American value system which places selfishness above knowledge, which is in line with the Judeo Christian philosophy of "save they souls or go to hell" dogma. This has very little to do with the hooliganism unleashed by the Sri Ram Sene, because irrespective of their professed religious ideology, I simply treat their behavior as a law and order problem, and little or nothing to do with scoring political brownie points and should be deal with as such. Child-brides, dowry deaths, human trafficking, no access to health-care might be problems their urban sisters are blithely unaware of while they hit the pubs, and party the night away.
What ever happened to women helping women? That is utterly and sorely missing. The greatest impediment to the success of women is not just their male counterparts - but women themselves. Men by very nature are competitive and will attempt to out do each other, while it is in the nature of women to be more co-operative. The discrimination against the gender filters through all class barriers, as indicated by the sex ratio in the state of Chandigarh/Punjab stands to be among the lowest.
Women don't need pink chaddis and pub bharo andolans - you can drink to it once you are done emancipating your sisters. Cheap gimmickry gets you media attention and more molestors, not the respect of your uncouth opponents.
What ever happened to women helping women? That is utterly and sorely missing. The greatest impediment to the success of women is not just their male counterparts - but women themselves. Men by very nature are competitive and will attempt to out do each other, while it is in the nature of women to be more co-operative. The discrimination against the gender filters through all class barriers, as indicated by the sex ratio in the state of Chandigarh/Punjab stands to be among the lowest.
Women don't need pink chaddis and pub bharo andolans - you can drink to it once you are done emancipating your sisters. Cheap gimmickry gets you media attention and more molestors, not the respect of your uncouth opponents.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
American Idol 2009
American Idol has a reasonable fan following with me. English music, and the American dream and the American fakeness is all too alluring for me. There is a desi contestant too, and boy I think he can sing : Anoop Desai, I want to see your brown skin go through to the top 24 atleast and take it from there.
I did hear some good voices this year, but the years that caught my ears the most were in 2008 and 2006. I didn't like the year 2007 where Jordin Sparks came up trumps, I didn't see any really good voices. Not a lot of folks remember the also-rans from earlier rans as they did from 2006 and 2008, and it was painful to see some of them get kicked out.
Here's to Anoop Dogg, and to see some real competitors emerge from the 9th season.
I did hear some good voices this year, but the years that caught my ears the most were in 2008 and 2006. I didn't like the year 2007 where Jordin Sparks came up trumps, I didn't see any really good voices. Not a lot of folks remember the also-rans from earlier rans as they did from 2006 and 2008, and it was painful to see some of them get kicked out.
Here's to Anoop Dogg, and to see some real competitors emerge from the 9th season.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Expert Commentary my ass..
The current India-SL series is a big yawwwnnn.. Any series with Sri-Lanka evokes as much excitement as seeing Hillary Clinton in her birthday suit. Honestly, what was the BCCI thinking - SL is easily the most boring side in the world to watch, Ajantha Mendis apart their brand of cricket can be described as gully cricket at best. Jayasuriya has been playing since I was in my diapers, when the hell is he going to retire?
Oh wait, I digress.. Has anyone seen an ass disguise himself as an expert commentator - called Dilip Vengsarkar - the man cant string two lines in English - if you can't just say it in Marathi you idiot. His glib quotes were : "we took wickets and they lost wickets and... we won.. which is a good result for us" I was goot Woooooot the FuC#@@#$#@@$#!!!! This guy was writing in TOI probably a decade or so ago, I recall him write in Mid-Day when I was in Mumbai. Fricking moron. Javagal Srinath is no better. These cliche toting dumbasses who had the privelege of playing for India just because there was no other talent simply meant that we are now saddled with such cliche ridden idiots on the telly..
Meanwhile I just see Ishant outfox the Lankan Ravan sena - and its now 7 in a row - Looking forward to the New Zealand tour though. Time to get roll over the Lankans 5-0 and demoralize their ass - getting all cocky after beating the LTTE are we?
Oh wait, I digress.. Has anyone seen an ass disguise himself as an expert commentator - called Dilip Vengsarkar - the man cant string two lines in English - if you can't just say it in Marathi you idiot. His glib quotes were : "we took wickets and they lost wickets and... we won.. which is a good result for us" I was goot Woooooot the FuC#@@#$#@@$#!!!! This guy was writing in TOI probably a decade or so ago, I recall him write in Mid-Day when I was in Mumbai. Fricking moron. Javagal Srinath is no better. These cliche toting dumbasses who had the privelege of playing for India just because there was no other talent simply meant that we are now saddled with such cliche ridden idiots on the telly..
Meanwhile I just see Ishant outfox the Lankan Ravan sena - and its now 7 in a row - Looking forward to the New Zealand tour though. Time to get roll over the Lankans 5-0 and demoralize their ass - getting all cocky after beating the LTTE are we?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Responsibility - its more than a word
The Satyam ex-CFO Vada-curry Vadalamani professed ignorance with the book doctoring charges and claimed he "blindly signed" what he was given by the brother Messers Chor and Lutera Raju.
Wow - that is the world's worst defense. People kill to get to the CFO position, I know I would - and all you can coolly tell us, after a few Enrons, Worltels that you never saw an excel sheet? Sir, you are get paid for what, may I ask? Sit on your black ass and play Solitaire, while your employees work 25 hr days, while you bill client like World Bank for 26? Tsk tsk, "responsibility" isn't just an non-andhra word, Mr-ex-CFO, it means you take charge for what you do, and you say - It happened under my watch, and what I did was unpardonable, now punish me.
If your employees used that defense you wouldn't get any of your projects done - "I dont know who wrote this code, I just compile it". You and your andhra-money-grabbing ilk make me sick. Go to hell, all 3 of you, you brought all of Indian IT down with your money grabbing filthy hands... I hope you feel the pain of every investor each night you try to sleep you filthy animals...
Wow - that is the world's worst defense. People kill to get to the CFO position, I know I would - and all you can coolly tell us, after a few Enrons, Worltels that you never saw an excel sheet? Sir, you are get paid for what, may I ask? Sit on your black ass and play Solitaire, while your employees work 25 hr days, while you bill client like World Bank for 26? Tsk tsk, "responsibility" isn't just an non-andhra word, Mr-ex-CFO, it means you take charge for what you do, and you say - It happened under my watch, and what I did was unpardonable, now punish me.
If your employees used that defense you wouldn't get any of your projects done - "I dont know who wrote this code, I just compile it". You and your andhra-money-grabbing ilk make me sick. Go to hell, all 3 of you, you brought all of Indian IT down with your money grabbing filthy hands... I hope you feel the pain of every investor each night you try to sleep you filthy animals...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The best damn cookie...PERIOD
American cookies are shit - I hate Oreos and the store cookies - European cookies are too bland, expect for the French ones I haven't bothered trying - But of all the biscuits I've tasted my favoritest is : Britannia Pure Magic Vanilla :
It was launched back in the 90's.
They stopped this somewhere down the ages, and relaunched it again some time ago - the vanilla filling and the cookie exterior blend in this awesome goodness... I can't wait to get up each morning and dunk a handful of them into my coffee.. MMmm mmmm mmm delish!!
It was launched back in the 90's.
They stopped this somewhere down the ages, and relaunched it again some time ago - the vanilla filling and the cookie exterior blend in this awesome goodness... I can't wait to get up each morning and dunk a handful of them into my coffee.. MMmm mmmm mmm delish!!
Wings of the Bird..
Haven't taken the bird out on a long ride in a long while. Planning something for the following weekend, once my document comes back from insurance renewal. In 4 years she has done almost 20,000 kms mostly in moribund city traffic. Have kept her safe so far, and have been no accident save one bit of lunacy from an oncoming auto rickshaw driver way back when the bike was 8 months young.
The little dot on the front of the petrol was the indent when the front of the handle jammed against it and I skidded.
I want to get my hands on a good Lightning 535 in Bangalore, so in any case any one is interested in selling one, they can get in touch with me through this blog.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Slumdog for the Oscars? Hold on...
How would you feel if a rape offender surfaced a few years down the line to pursue a victim for her beauty, but ended up castigating her for being "used-good"? Not only is that highly offensive but you'd probably say what the hell is the rapist doing out in the open anyway? Lock him up and throw away the key - and of course the victim is entitled to some form of restitution.
Slumdog Millionaire is one of the movies I was curious to read about in review before I spent my well-earned 200 Rs at one of the shameless extortionists called PVR cinemas. I've read enough, and I don't care 2 hoots for cinematography as some of the erudite white-skinned readers of CNN etc. have professed. Especially when you film human excrement covered all over a little boy. And pass it off as a patently Indian thing to do.
Britain's love affair for India started almost 500 years ago when a band of the white skinned brigands set shore up on the shores of our native country. To trade, and then to enslave. The enslavement part came partly because the armies were of predominantly Muslim Mughal conquerers who sat on their fat-asses watching Mujras while certain Englishmen on boats were piling up on the western shores. To anyone who thinks Britain did a favor on us to bestow the Queen's lingua france, think again - nobody robs a piss-poor country, so the counter argument and the argumentee both get thrown out the window. And the Brits didnt' simply put all the goodies on a boat on the midnight of August 14th 1947. They did so over 300 years, since the set up of the East India company.
For the same bunch of ragged ugly Brits to come to India, and film - nay - exploit India's "ugly underbelly" for commercial purposes of the white-west who lap it up like a starving dog - with the samy pithy quotes - "moving", "human spirit", "rags to riches" - its just inane I tell you - Yes there is poverty in India, yes there are people who take a dump on the Western Express Highway, but that is the prerogative of the people who take the dump, and the folks who keep populating the slums with kids who take a dump in the open.
I don't intend to watch the movie, and I call up on all self respecting Indians to refrain from doing the same - in fact I support pulling down the movie from Indian theatres as well [violence would be morally justified] - If I wanted to see poverty, I'd just take a little walksie outside of my apartment complex, and watch the kids relieve themselves.
Coming back to my argument earlier - rapists of the native land, coming back to exploit the ugly side of their victim - doesn't sound appealing, it is nauseating.
As with every thing western, take an angle, blow it out of proportion - especially with anything eastern - By the same yardstick if America were Micheal Jackson, Marilyn Manson, and George Bush, that would collectively be the dumbest nation on planet earth - okay just one notch above Pakistan.
A few things India is not:
1. Amitabh Bachchan fans - I find him annoying at times and an over actor..
2. Live in squalor and poverty - Take a trip down to the Bronx - London was the largest slum until the turn of the 19th century.
3. All Indians do not work in BPO's - the few that do annoy the rest of us.
Self-respect is not in the purvey of left-liberals - which is why they will sell their mothers to go watch this movie and get a "new insight into India" while yapping over their iPhone and avoiding the kid scratching the window of their petrol-guzzling luxury sedan.
Slumdog Millionaire is one of the movies I was curious to read about in review before I spent my well-earned 200 Rs at one of the shameless extortionists called PVR cinemas. I've read enough, and I don't care 2 hoots for cinematography as some of the erudite white-skinned readers of CNN etc. have professed. Especially when you film human excrement covered all over a little boy. And pass it off as a patently Indian thing to do.
Britain's love affair for India started almost 500 years ago when a band of the white skinned brigands set shore up on the shores of our native country. To trade, and then to enslave. The enslavement part came partly because the armies were of predominantly Muslim Mughal conquerers who sat on their fat-asses watching Mujras while certain Englishmen on boats were piling up on the western shores. To anyone who thinks Britain did a favor on us to bestow the Queen's lingua france, think again - nobody robs a piss-poor country, so the counter argument and the argumentee both get thrown out the window. And the Brits didnt' simply put all the goodies on a boat on the midnight of August 14th 1947. They did so over 300 years, since the set up of the East India company.
For the same bunch of ragged ugly Brits to come to India, and film - nay - exploit India's "ugly underbelly" for commercial purposes of the white-west who lap it up like a starving dog - with the samy pithy quotes - "moving", "human spirit", "rags to riches" - its just inane I tell you - Yes there is poverty in India, yes there are people who take a dump on the Western Express Highway, but that is the prerogative of the people who take the dump, and the folks who keep populating the slums with kids who take a dump in the open.
I don't intend to watch the movie, and I call up on all self respecting Indians to refrain from doing the same - in fact I support pulling down the movie from Indian theatres as well [violence would be morally justified] - If I wanted to see poverty, I'd just take a little walksie outside of my apartment complex, and watch the kids relieve themselves.
Coming back to my argument earlier - rapists of the native land, coming back to exploit the ugly side of their victim - doesn't sound appealing, it is nauseating.
As with every thing western, take an angle, blow it out of proportion - especially with anything eastern - By the same yardstick if America were Micheal Jackson, Marilyn Manson, and George Bush, that would collectively be the dumbest nation on planet earth - okay just one notch above Pakistan.
A few things India is not:
1. Amitabh Bachchan fans - I find him annoying at times and an over actor..
2. Live in squalor and poverty - Take a trip down to the Bronx - London was the largest slum until the turn of the 19th century.
3. All Indians do not work in BPO's - the few that do annoy the rest of us.
Self-respect is not in the purvey of left-liberals - which is why they will sell their mothers to go watch this movie and get a "new insight into India" while yapping over their iPhone and avoiding the kid scratching the window of their petrol-guzzling luxury sedan.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Disproportionate Retribution
So the Israeli troops have made a ground incursion into Gaza to get rid of Hamas. One of the top commanders of Hamas have been taken out in the earlier air-strikes.
This has been Israel's dis-proportionate response to the dozen odd people killed in rocket attacks made by the terrorist organization by the name of Hamas. It is anyone's guess how many more Palestinians are going to be steam-rolled in the new offensive in the name of "defense of Israel".
One of the most unthinkable but doomsday scenario aspects is that Israel's disproportionate response every time to each act of terror is aimed at, according to Israel, aimed at shutting the other side up for a while, but could very easily back-fire in the kind of radicalization and polarization of the non-Arab countries against it. To expect any friends of Israel in the Arab world would be insane. However the over-the-top reaction is not winning it any sympathy in Europe and other countries with minority Islamic populations.
Coming back to the doomsday scenario I was talking about. Its always possible that the only Islamic country with nuclear weapons - Pakistan - would and could support the detonation of a dirty-bomb on Israeli soil. However, if the Pakistanis had anything they would already have forked it out to their jehadi brothers in Palestine. Detonation of a dirty bomb would definitely leave its fingerprints which would be almost impossible to get rid of - However if the same were to be used against a neighboring nation - say India, in the event of a conventional war, it would be justified in the name of self-defense - the same illogical reason used by Israel. For the same reason the detonation of a nuclear dirty bomb would most probably never happen on Indian soil, because that would mean an almost immediate response from India, and if there is mobilization prior to this by Pakistan to save itself, India's ears would be up for a possible act of war.
There is every possibility that nuclear weapons, if at all they are in any sense of maturity level for delivery, would be used against India - in fact they would probably throw everything including the kitchen sink against their neighbor, very well risking complete annihilation. That's their doctrine, its not the no-first-use as purpotedly espoused by Zardari on TV.
This has been Israel's dis-proportionate response to the dozen odd people killed in rocket attacks made by the terrorist organization by the name of Hamas. It is anyone's guess how many more Palestinians are going to be steam-rolled in the new offensive in the name of "defense of Israel".
One of the most unthinkable but doomsday scenario aspects is that Israel's disproportionate response every time to each act of terror is aimed at, according to Israel, aimed at shutting the other side up for a while, but could very easily back-fire in the kind of radicalization and polarization of the non-Arab countries against it. To expect any friends of Israel in the Arab world would be insane. However the over-the-top reaction is not winning it any sympathy in Europe and other countries with minority Islamic populations.
Coming back to the doomsday scenario I was talking about. Its always possible that the only Islamic country with nuclear weapons - Pakistan - would and could support the detonation of a dirty-bomb on Israeli soil. However, if the Pakistanis had anything they would already have forked it out to their jehadi brothers in Palestine. Detonation of a dirty bomb would definitely leave its fingerprints which would be almost impossible to get rid of - However if the same were to be used against a neighboring nation - say India, in the event of a conventional war, it would be justified in the name of self-defense - the same illogical reason used by Israel. For the same reason the detonation of a nuclear dirty bomb would most probably never happen on Indian soil, because that would mean an almost immediate response from India, and if there is mobilization prior to this by Pakistan to save itself, India's ears would be up for a possible act of war.
There is every possibility that nuclear weapons, if at all they are in any sense of maturity level for delivery, would be used against India - in fact they would probably throw everything including the kitchen sink against their neighbor, very well risking complete annihilation. That's their doctrine, its not the no-first-use as purpotedly espoused by Zardari on TV.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Crossroads
Trying to cross a street at 10 pm at Madiwala Bangalore to catch my ride home..
But first I need to cross the street to get to the stand -
Here is the "Blair Witch" type video on my brave and perilous journey.
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BTW Happy New Year :
But first I need to cross the street to get to the stand -
Here is the "Blair Witch" type video on my brave and perilous journey.
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BTW Happy New Year :
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Which Pulp Fiction Character are you?
I turned out to be the big bad Mutha Marcellus F Wallace..
The F stands for ST F Up or else I will eat your children!
Here is the link : http://www.pyrrha.org/pulp/
The F stands for ST F Up or else I will eat your children!
Here is the link : http://www.pyrrha.org/pulp/
 Your name alone strikes fear into others; but maybe, just maybe, there's a little vulnerability and weakness beneath that stoic, fierce exterior of yours. Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz. |
Friday, December 19, 2008
Me & Sea Biskit
I was at the Embassy Riding School in Devanhalli, on the way to the new Bangalore Airport. It's spread over close to 250 acres of pristine real-estate, far away from the din and hum drum of the Eastern Silicon Valley. All my apprehensions of riding a giant spitting, kicking and insolent animal with a twitchy instinct was well laid to rest at the end of the day.
Mounting a horse isn't as simpile as it looks - especially if you or the horse carry a few spare tyres below the mid-riff area.
Holding the reins is an obvious key part of learning to make a horse go. You kind of clasp the reins in your middle 3 fingers while the thumb holds it over and the pinkie supports it under. A little foot-tap to the left or right along-with a tug of the taut reins push the stallion left or right. Its kind of key to not let the reins lurch over.
Adjusting the stirrup
The moment I mounted Slim, he went about munching the turf - a couple of kicks later, he decided to lurch forward. Honestly, if you thought riding a horse was bad, you should try a camel. I don't know how you keep your wits about, 10 feet off the ground, half suffering from vertigo, and half nauseated with all that swooning.
There was the handler hanging around my horse, and for some reason thought he neede to adjust the straps underneath the saddle - my horse absolutely didn't like it - now my handler had told me to keep my feet up front, to you know be able to kick the horse - now when the horse got pissed, it turned around and the first thing it would find is my juicy calf muscle - I had to check if this particular horse was a vegetarian.. Sometime later Slim settled down.
A few rounds around the paddock later, we did a quick trot, just about once, for about 50 metres, and I can assure anyone - the family jewels take a serious serious pounding, along with the lower back..
Riding the BEAST [His name : Slim Shady :-)]
Dismounting a horse requires a little bit of athleticism, and common sense. The first part I have, the second part is sometimes questionable - you need to get your feet out the stirrups - check - getting 7 feet off the ground in one action - hmmmm not quite sure - so I bent over forward and slid off the saddle. Phew, embaressment avoided!
Walking off, Veni Vidi Vici...
The 2nd half was to corral the ponies, my pony was called Muffin - and he was a docile chap - the others were little monsters running around - so I had an easy time - just pulling the chap over to the fence, tying in a reef-knot, and asking him to just settle down - after which we settled in to brush the little bugger, and what came out looked like horse-dandruff- not exactly highlight of the day!
Yeee-haawwww : Cowboy tackling the trouble-makers [note who leads who!]
Mounting a horse isn't as simpile as it looks - especially if you or the horse carry a few spare tyres below the mid-riff area.
Holding the reins is an obvious key part of learning to make a horse go. You kind of clasp the reins in your middle 3 fingers while the thumb holds it over and the pinkie supports it under. A little foot-tap to the left or right along-with a tug of the taut reins push the stallion left or right. Its kind of key to not let the reins lurch over.
Adjusting the stirrup
The moment I mounted Slim, he went about munching the turf - a couple of kicks later, he decided to lurch forward. Honestly, if you thought riding a horse was bad, you should try a camel. I don't know how you keep your wits about, 10 feet off the ground, half suffering from vertigo, and half nauseated with all that swooning.
There was the handler hanging around my horse, and for some reason thought he neede to adjust the straps underneath the saddle - my horse absolutely didn't like it - now my handler had told me to keep my feet up front, to you know be able to kick the horse - now when the horse got pissed, it turned around and the first thing it would find is my juicy calf muscle - I had to check if this particular horse was a vegetarian.. Sometime later Slim settled down.
A few rounds around the paddock later, we did a quick trot, just about once, for about 50 metres, and I can assure anyone - the family jewels take a serious serious pounding, along with the lower back..
Riding the BEAST [His name : Slim Shady :-)]
Dismounting a horse requires a little bit of athleticism, and common sense. The first part I have, the second part is sometimes questionable - you need to get your feet out the stirrups - check - getting 7 feet off the ground in one action - hmmmm not quite sure - so I bent over forward and slid off the saddle. Phew, embaressment avoided!
Walking off, Veni Vidi Vici...
The 2nd half was to corral the ponies, my pony was called Muffin - and he was a docile chap - the others were little monsters running around - so I had an easy time - just pulling the chap over to the fence, tying in a reef-knot, and asking him to just settle down - after which we settled in to brush the little bugger, and what came out looked like horse-dandruff- not exactly highlight of the day!
Yeee-haawwww : Cowboy tackling the trouble-makers [note who leads who!]
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