Holier Than Thou

He who chants the Vedas the Loudest
Gets moksha from the Endless cycle
of Life and Death and Life again...

He who pays through his nose
To get a darshana of the Lord
Is truly blessed,
And promised a place in Heaven

He who truly wishes to gaze,
Upon the radiant face of the Lord,
Shall have to push fellow believers,
And such a one is truly blessed in afterlife

From : The Fake Bhagwad Gita, not the spoken word of Lord Krishna.
Hinduism, and in essnce followers and believers of the Hindu Holy Trinity, often realize that their "salvation" or "moksha" lies not in mass communal gatherings and prayer. It is an individualistic path one must tread in order to attain the Bhramana.
This is both a vital, as well a selfish [selfish, not in the bad sense] way or attaining spirituality, but thats the way it is ordained in Hinduism. Now with a population of 800 million of the faithful, it is a tough job giving your fellow Hindus a leg up on attaining moksha.
That simply ends up in the madness that is seen in Hindu temples all over India and especially south India. People run all over each other in an attempt to gaze at the Lord, and more over if its a special festive occassion or a special occassion based on the phase of the moon it gets doubly worse. More people have died in their attempt to break the damned cycle than ever before.
Prayer chanting at temples is supposed to be either done by the priests. What ticks me off is when people sit down in areas clearly earmarked "Dhyanam" they get their little cellular phones - which arent exactly allowed inside temples - and start playing off spiritual music. And also, keep the mantra chanting to yourself, or in the vicinity of your home. Rigorous vedic chanting once in a few months in the temple is not going to give you and vimochana - except it might add to your bad karma from all the curses you'd get from the people around you. Please leave your Holier than thou attitude at home. We are all here to pray, some a little, some a little more - lets not rub it in to each other's faces!
Hinduism's curious case of leaving each to his own creates a spiritual rat race we see in temples all over India. The amount of money these temples make is unbelievable, and the followers are utterly oblivious as to who lines their pockets with the gold and money - the amount if put directly to charity can do a lot of good. Temples do function as charitable trusts, but the question of accountability still remains. Seeing the conditions in which most temples are kept, it is pretty clear absolutely nothing goes into their maintenance.
Clearly these people want you to attain spirituality, by giving away all your worldly posessions to them. Sounds like a scam!

The Wonder Years

I was watching one of the umpteen re-runs of the Wonder Years one evening. And I thought to myself - if as a kid growing up in the halycon socialist days of yesteryear India, I were to make a movie/tele-serial on my life how would it pan out to be?

Aaah, the 80's - the decade in which I was born into - the decade that had Cyndi Lauper's she-bopping minus Hanson's umm-bopping - what a decade of cultural upheavel - a decade that bridged the divide between the uber cool swinging' 70's and the uber-modern 90's [we had cable TV for chrissakes!]. The decade where if you wanted the answer to a question you turned up to your dad or mom and asked : Where do babies come from? or When was the International Labor Organization founded? Sadly you parents weren't exactly wise to answer either question, and after some humming and hawing they bought you one of those "General Knowledge 1987" books - books on current issues and event? Don't we call that a www.cnn.com ticker these days?

Those days growing up were tough. No TV and definitely no internet. The TV was a queer thing - we had a TV which had 16 channels - 15 actually, and one earmarked for the VCR. The remote control used to weigh a brick and very often my brother or I have used it to give each other concussions during our numerous fights. My VCR had a remote too - except instead of working on Infra-red, it was actually a wire connected to a VCR port - wow! That was really lame.

In the 80's all technology was smuggled and/or purchased from "Foreign" - which was code word for Dubai or Singapore or the US of A. Customs officers had all the time on their slovenly hands to emasculate anyone who brought in a piece of technology : it didn't even matter if it were a 2-ex-or gate or a North Korean missile muncher. As a country our govenment was socialist by profession, capitalist by confession and Stalinist by obsession. Buying anything good in those days always attracted a penalty from the Government - but that was only because nobody in India ever really paid Income Tax in those days.

So in the 80's we were Socialist [spread the poverty], and hence we had two Government authorized channels : DD1 and DD2. DD1 was more of the heavy duty stuff, usually meant for adults - occassionally if a leader died you'd know : because some nondescript Sarangi player biled his guts out on the telly. Which meant no entertainment programming for a few hours - you were forced to mourn the death of the guy! How dare you otherwise! DD2 was the yuppier of the two, and typically carried more entertainment programming - like 1 hour of ramayana per week or one hindi movie every Saturday evening - something which brought the whole nation's kitchens to a standstill, and then mahabharatha. I still re-call waiting 7 whole days for 30 mins of HE-MAN every Sunday evening. Or for that 30 mins of "Jonny Sokko and his Flying Robot" every Tuesday evening - which was a Japanese dubbed sci-fi from the late 50's and early 60's : Eastman color in all its GLORY!
DD had all the trappings of Nazi-like indoctrination when it came to programming. Usually it was under the guise of the National Film Center for Kids or some other government gobble-de-gook department whose clear mission was to teach us the virtues of sharing, and that posession of material property was evil. We had such great imports as Hungarian cartoons, Romanian puppetry, East German slapstick and other Soviet Bloc imports - if the Kremlin Politburo didn't approve of it, we couldn't see it.
I recall spending my summer holidays literally doing nothing most days except play in the mornings and evenings. The afternoons were mostly spent trying to do pansy things - like draw or paint or read comics. Sometimes my mom would pop in an old cartoon in the VCR. If I got bored, I'd swing my bat around and play pretend cricket. But the best entertainment was if my brother was around we'd fight. And then my Dad would come and beat the crap out of us for ruining his afternoon siesta. But mostly that. We weren't burdened by tuitions or coaching classes or learning or doing something that kids these days are forced into.
My life panning out as a tele-serial would suck - so would any kid who'd grown up with me in the miserable and god-awful decade called the 80's.
Well, all it does it makes me appreciate what I have today.

Good Jokes

Here are some good ones I picked off the web :
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HOW JEWS GOT TEN COMMANDMENTS


God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

The Arabs asked, " What are Commandments? Can you give us an example?"

God said, " For example ............ . Thou shall not kill."

The Arabs were shocked, "What? Not kill? No way! Killing and massacaring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence.. No, we are not interested. "

So God went to the Africans and said, " I have Commandments. "

The Africans wanted an example.

God said, "For example ........... Honor thy Father and Mother."

The Africans were dismayed. They said, " Father? Yo maan! Can't tell for sure who our fathers are, maan!"

So God went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments. "

The Mexicans wanted an example.

God said, " For example ........... Thou shall not steal."

The Mexicans were flabbergasted. They said, " No steal? No steal?? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh? Gracias, but no! "

So God went to the French and said, "I have Commandments. "

The French wanted an example.

God said, "For example ............ . Thou shall not commit adultery."

The French were stunned. They said, "What? Not commit ze adultery ....... ? Non, non, non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez nous. We, ze French, must have ze romance. "

So God went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments. "

The Jews asked, "Commandments? How much do they cost?"

God replied, "Nothing. They are free."

The Jews answered, "Good. We shall take Ten! "

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In the city of New York, a pet but vicious Rottweiler dog attacks small child. A brave soul pounces on the Rottweiler and saves the child. Soon the media and the Press are at the site and are busy interviewing this brave lad.

“See the newspaper tomorrow“ says a Press Reporter. “You will see yourself in the headlines as The Brave New Yorker saves a child from a vicious dog”

“But” says our young man “I am not a New Yorker”

“Don’t worry “ says another Press Reporter “But you will be in tomorrow’s headlines as The American saves a child from a vicious dog”

“But” says our young man “I am not an American, I am a Pakistani”

The headlines next day read

The Vicious Pakistani Attacks A Pet Dog

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Yeh hai Chennai, Chennai Soober Kings!

Chennai - is a wretched city. And I use the word wretched with all the love and reverence that the word doesn't deign to carry. Chennai evokes mixed emotions almost as much as Mumbai does, but I guess a few degrees less on the passion scale. No other Metropolitan city in India comes close when it comes to defining character. Kolkattans outshout but that hardly changes the truth. Delhi has few takers. Bangalore is a mosh pit. Hyderabad is like a blunt blade with the pulse of a 90 year old.
Chennai evokes hatred as much as it does appreciation - simply because no one deigns to humor the occasional north Indian who has stumbled across this weird city with as much as a schmidgen or Hindi. Athu Sellathu.. The Lingua France is Tamil, rest be damned . I just read a quote from 1959 in the Deccan yesterday which had Nedunchuzhian of the DMK saying : English should be made the language of operation all over India. 50 years later we've regressed into a Mulayam Singh wanting the abolishment of computers. Bravo Democratic India!
The CSK team seems to reflect the laid back intensity of the city. There are no people running behind buses, waiting for trains or simply in a hurry to go someplace. Everyone seems to have time to stare at the odd traffic accident, provide advice to total and complete strangers, and sometimes go forth and help people in need - it has all the essential qualities of a quaint town just with better roads and richer people. Of course there is a huge degree of indiscipline and it just frustrates you so much you could be bald with the callousness of people.
The IPL team reflects the attitude of the city. Filmy stylish, flashy but mostly chilled without a hint of pumped up intentsity and aggro. Trying to coast on hard work rather than brilliance. Watching L Balaji's run up is next only to hearing a Mercedes Engine crank up :-). And commentators and player after player acknowledge the sportsmanship of the Chennai crowd as opposed to the extremely partisan crowds elsewhere in India.
Chennai is no Mumbai - it clicks for those who want life in a little slow mo. Give me idli-vadai over zunka-bhakar anyday.

CSK Update

Today is CSK vs the Kings XI . The Kings XI is leading an awesome fightback as I write.
I am among the legion of "fans" of the CSK team.
Today their walloping of the Punjab bowlers was a sight to behold. The more I see Suresh Raina, the more I think this kid has one awesome future and holds the key to Indian cricket in the next decade. "Stylish left-hander" is an oxymoron but just watching him pull the ball is an absolute treat [next only to watching Yuvi belt a long hop]. Matthew Hayden to me, remains the most under-rated player of the past decade. This man strikes the fear of God into bowlers, and this IPL is all about him - he has almost never failed, and it was sad seeing him get caught for 89. Sreesanth is a coward and a moron, and someone should just ban him from ever playing any competitive cricket - his send-off of Haydos who thrashed him for 20+ in that over was childish and boorish. Can we have some Match Referee intervention here?
Dhoni who has had a terrible IPL2 until the match before last, suddenly finds the best time to hit form. To me Mahi is one of those players who don't really have the god given talent of other "higher" players like Yuvraj or Sachin, but he is a one in a generation act. History is going to be kind to him in a decade from now, where he trades in the lack of pure talent for a cricketing brain that none of his gifted peers can ever come close to possessing. Which is what makes him a clear headed leader. Somehow the best leaders have been the ones lower on cricketing talent than their team mates but have the ability to gauge the game a lot better - Allan Border is one such example - not only did he inspire the great Aussie resurgance of the 90's he did so by going about his job very quitely. How is it that no one remembers him as the highest run getter in test matches, and everyone fawns over Sunil Gavaskar? Why is it that Tendulkar failed to inspire despite his fans screaming and drowning out any nay-sayers?
It just takes a little more than mere talent to lead men. Talent itself cannot inspire. True leaders are made of something else.

So the following items were of significant consequnce for the week ending 2nd May 2009

1. DK followers stone Army convoys allegedly carrying supplies for the Lankan army
MY question - who pays for the damage? The quarry was nothing but supplies and tents and chairs. Why did the drivers/jawans go on a rampage beating up both media and innocent bystanders. If criminal proceedings are in order against DK/PDK then a court marshall is in order against the jawans for not showing restraint. Or the ones who were in command of such hooliganists army personnel.

2. Ajmal Amir Muhammid Kasab/Kasav is not a minor, makes demands!
At the end of this trial, Pakistan gets a new insight into how the famed Indian justic system works. The next bunch of attacked will be brought in a few days shy of their 18th birthday, and will have certified copies of their birth certificates from
Pakistani hospitals pinned on their lapels in case, non-Inshallah one comes out alive. Then he goes straight to juvi - and comes out when he is like what 21? Oh and according to NHRC he will also get a right to vote. And mostly vote for the secular parties. And possibly contest the elections as he turns 25. Since that is necessary to reform people who have strayed from the path of Indian righteousness. Bakwaas. Someone can give ajmal some H2S04 or poison ivy in an attar bottle - let him spray himself with it.

3. Manmohan Singh says "Q" harassed enough, let him [and the Gandhi's] live in peace
Manmohan pleading on behalf of his Masterni - please leave her alone, and hence Mr. Q as well - nobody is going to do anything about this 30 year old case. The CBI has received funding for such period to work on a project and has fuelled the subsidized lives of 1000's of investigating officers, CBI heads, press-wallahs, typists and so on. Justice delayed is justic won - for the delayers.

4. Voting in Mumbai shocks propah newspapers and psephologists.
Heat isnt the cause of the Mumbai voter not coming out. Surprisingly a large part of Mumbai is slum. 70% slum. Nothing the poor ever wants gets done. The middle class would probably have voted on the same number patterns as 2004. Which just goes to show it won't take anything short of an act of God to make Indians vote int his farcical democracy.

5. Swine Flu as elusive as KKR Victory
Where is this Swine Flu? People, poultry, animals have been harassed enough. People call the flu H1N1 and not swine flu anymore. And its an over exaggerated hype coming in from WHO. It is not a pandemic if 100 people die from it - More people probably die across the world from sneezing and cracking their ribs. And according to some Indian docs, Tamiflu/Relenza are not effective in combating this strain. Makes sense to stop Americans/ Mexicans/ other affected countries from sending their crap over here. All passengers to be screened at both port of embarkment and destination. If you are sick dont travel or prepare to be deported.
Fake IPL player is more interesting than KKR combined. McCullum shows the power of binary in his scores. Ganguly shows that if he can't lead he wont bother as an individual contributor - he is taking a leaf out of MSD's book : MSD's batting is now getting on my nerves.
And CSK needs to get rid of Jacob Oram, he sucks.

Swine Flu

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Have a look at this picture below. Do you think this cute little fella could ever harm you?



Did you say cull him? As Homer once said [Homer as in Simpson, not the poet] : You can't kill him if he is wearing people clothes.. And then Spider Pig, Spider Pig, but I digress.

So I asked my girlfriend when she would put out - last she said "When Pigs fly". Well its "Swine Flew" - close enough for me - I am going to go ask her for some lovin'.
Arrivederci!!!!

Accidentally...

I was on my way to grab some spirituality and a meal on my way back.
Right about on the road that leads to purple haze and a clutch of seemingly half drunk drivers ducking and weaving, and a toyota corolla in front of me slams the brakes - too late for the thunderbird which stops like the Queen Mary - My bike skidded and slipped under the corolla's boot. So while I am extricating myself, a mild mannered guy steps out of the car and quips : "He braked too hard" - I said what can I do - then without a thought to whether I was okay or not, proceeds to check underneath the boot of his precious fu#@ing vehicle. I told him - don't fuc@#ing panic - its okay, and of course it was. My fender caught a bit of the paint, and looks like the fork has taken a slight beating in the mangled mess - and my foot and back dont feel very good either. All this for a traffic incident at 20 km/hr. I need to sleep this off, and the bike needs a visit to the shop to check for any damages. Not a great start to the week, I'd say!

ICC World T20 2013 : SWAT

Greetings and Salutaitons from Mingora, capital of the SWAT valley, lying on the western border of lovely and safe Pakistan.

Khidmat Hussain, Governer of the valley of SWAT said : "Our lovely state has offered to the ICC to host the 2013 ICC World T20 Championship. We expect this move to help justify the universal understanding of the SWAT area as the most peaceful place on earth. Our denizens are lover of the game of cricket and appreciate a good game between the Muslims and the Kafirs."

Meanwhile ICC Chariman Shri Sharad Pawar, who besides holding onto positions as BCCI Chief, and Prime Minister of India [in that freak election in 2009 where the Jaago Re campaign cause such frivolous voting from confused youngsters, it led to a three way tie, and all the pseudo secular parties decided to shove the biggest blackmailer into the position of power, aka Shir Sharad Pawar], recently agreed to tour SWAT in a cursory move to review the security situation in the area. However, what he said was not very clear to the media since his lips now dangle from left to right - a lot more han before, because of which no body but no body knows what India's official stance is on any position since 2009.

The Australians earlier were up in arms over the move from moving the ICC World T20 championship from Australia to SWAT. Cricket Australia chairman Andrew Symonds threatened to blow up the ICC office in Kilinochi, while CA chief spokesperson Matthew Hayden called Sharad Pawar an "obnoxious little weed". Also ex-captain Ricky Ponting called this a "cheap shot by the big bloke" in apparently a response to Sharad Pawar being shoved off the victory podium during the Aussie victory of an ICC Champions Trophy back in 2007.
This was in response to the ICC fact-finding team's assessment on the security situation in Australia as "very grim". Australian Prime Minister Loud Howard cursed the 2009 American induced re-settlement plan of the Taliban in the Western Australian desert as "biggest bloody mistake" in the "great history of Australia". When questioned about the "felony past" of Australians Prime Minister Howard called it a "racist sub-continental concoction".
Meanwhile SWAT valley is scheduled to host the biggest gala event of the cricket millenium. With the resettlement of the Taliban in Western Australia, Pashtun women are now free to compete for positions as cheer-leaders for various teams. Some teams have vowed to carry their own cheer-leading squad, especially the Afghanistan team which has teamed up with the Dallas Cowboys. Meanwhile the Indian contingent has refused to send their cheer leading squad after Pramod Muthalik, now Indian MOS for Culture and Vice Prevention deemed such activities as Un-Indian.
So the stage is all set for an amazing game of cricket during the SWAT summer. American President Sarah Palin has herself vowed to come down and have a look at the "hot diggity dog its just like baseball" and inaugurate the great sporting event. Meanwhile women from Buner's PIM [Pakistan Institute of Manamgement for Women] are looking at ways at making this event a commercial success as part of their finaly year project study. All in all the T20 showcases the logistical ability of SWAT to conduct this event with no untoward incidents whatsoever, and gives a chance for the people of war-torn countries like Australia and England to have their hearts opened to the hospitable people of SWAT.

Dagger through the Heart

Scars of your angry words
A schism in my heart
Turned my world upside-down
And tore my life apart

Where were you in my misfortune?
Where were you in my pain?
Dithered to stand beside me
Was this love all in vain?

If all you ever wanted
Was what I never had
O'why did we have this drama
Of a love we nev'er had?

As you walk out that door
Into the world, cold and dark
I feel the seething pain
Of that dagger thru' my heart

SWAT Cats

Does anyone recall the SWAT Kats? Or was it SWAT Cats? It used to play around on TV during the late 90's - and I always recall watching it eating an tomato-onion uthappam delciously lobbed by my dear loving mother. Was it after I came back from college? Oh, I don't know - it was the cable age, but there still weren't reality shows like MTV Hero Honda Roadies around, so I guess SWAT Kats [or was it SWAT Katz now, I am really confused] would have to make do.
I only recall T-Bone and Razr [or was it Razor - is that what inspired the Moto Phone?], and a hardassed cop whose city was policed with loads of choppers. The Kats had a combat aircraft which pretty much bordered on the looking like F-14 Tomcat but flies like a Britsh Navy Harrier and flight dynamics of a F-35 with the computing power of the internet stashed away somewhere. Very impressive.

10 years on and this is the only picture I can get of the SWAT Kats : Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!



So here is my song, an ode, a tribute to the gentle people of SWAT valley, the true radical squadron...

I get up in the morning
To the sound of the azaan
Every morning is Allah's blessing
For my day is really really fun

I am part of the virtue squadron
We have duty everyday
We pick up men with moustaches
And shaven freaks along the way

We impose the law of Sharia
In the valley of lovely SWAT
For that is the word of Muhammed
I know the Qu'ran by heart

Beating up defensless women
Who in public they'd be seen
With men who aren't relatives
Or showing off a bit of skin

Allah praise SWAT valley
We are imposing His holy word
Soon inshallah we will rule
With the letter of the sword

Who cares about education
Schools for women are a waste
Get caught with a book in SWAT
And lashes turn you into paste

Don't hate us for it
Allah wishes and we do
Just look at your family member
Who is holding you down too

So Allah Praise SWAT
The Switzerland of the East
And down with democracy
Coz its such a fu!@ing Beast !!!!

IPL, Part Deux

What would make the IPL even more interesting
1. Absence of Bimbettes and Male Bimbos on Sony's Set MAX hosting shows, half-time intervals and tactical breaks. If I want glamor I am anyway watching the white skinned South African Blondes shake their stuff.
2. NDTV stops shouting why IPL2 is all the rage in south africa by force feeding Indian cricket down a tube in every "indian origin" south african. "Oh, we love Indian culture" coos on dreadlocked brown girl "Aishwayrya, Amitabh Bachchan" - yes we all are proud of our 35 years of civilization thank you very much descendant of coolies.

IPL is an IPL - no matter where the carnival goes. Trouble is how the BCCI and the team owners recover their cost. Come to think of it, I don't understand beyond the cost of the winning team's cheque what else does a team lying say 7th or 8th lose over the guys who come in first? More airtime perhaps? It seems to me that this is a place where Shah Rukh always trumps India Cement Chairman for sheer popularity [or poor taste of the desi crowd, but hey I don't have a six-pack, who am I to begrudge him that!?].
My pick for the year as was last year was the Chennai Super Kings simply because captain cool Dhoni is in chage. However, Dhoni has turned out to be like one of those project leads in IT Companies - he wants to be a team lead, but doesn't want to do any hands on work. He will tell the fielders where to stand, bring on the right bowlers and shuffle the batting order, but will not do anything by himself with the bat. Heck that is sad for a guy who cracks over a million dont you think? And what has Andrew Freddie Flintoff done for CSK so far - he has looked the worse player - perhaps Morkel has something to say about that, but atleast he isnt overpaid - and now he is heading home with an injury. People were right - he is a tremendously overrated player. Pity though, buying him still isnt the worst decision made.
Meanwhile the Deccan Chargers seem to get better with each outing, and that is good to see - especially since the Indian talent over there is doing its job too.
Who wants the elections anyway? Its the same thing - either the crook or the thief lords over you - just get over this democratic farce and give us folks some good entertainment. I was keen on watching atleast one or two of the CSK home matches this year - but stupid P Chidambaram had to throw it all away.
Side note : Tennis Australia has refused to send a team to placid chennai citing security concerns for which they will get docked both money and playing rights for a year. Hahahah - talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Good riddance, we dont want your convicts setting our stadium on fire.

Ragging : Myths and Myths

A kid from Kerala studying at Coimbatore's PSG college is almost blinded. His injured eyes are a pain to look at. I really feel for the poor kid.
His "seniors" asked him to lick their boots and part with Rs.3000/-. IS this ragging? Or is this extortion, hooliganism and attempted murder?
There are quite a few folks who extol the "virtues of ragging".

Myth 1. Ragging makes you a man/woman. You become independent and can fend for yourself
Where is the fu#@ing bravery when 10 oversized seniors pounce on a kid who can't even find his way around campus? You tell me what ritual such as undressing, or being brutally beaten up, or even doing a song or a dance have to do with making a man out of someone. And if they aren't then who the f#$k are these seniors to turn them into men/women - is this some form of social service we are unaware of in society?

Myth 2. Ragging brings seniors and juniors closer : I got to know my senior better after he made love to me.
At the end of the day leveraging power to abuse someone does not bring people closer. It simply creates a dependency between two people and you can get eternal subservience from the other person. If you have to go through a hazing ritual to be friends, such friends are not worth having at all.

Myth 3. Ragging is ragging.
Ragging is a polite term for sexual, mental, verbal and physical abuse. This is a harsher crime that actually crosses multiple boundaries of illegality, and hence should have the harshest punishment, including the death penalty to be applied depending on the circumstances. Can you imagine the pain Mr. Kachroo's father has to go through to light the funeral pyre of his son, and fight in the Supreme court, just to get the management kick out the useless Principal of the college. Its another matter how he has to deal with the murderers of his son.

Myth 4. There are varying degrees of ragging.
Who the heck are you to decide it? Stay away from the juniors when they join college. Let them find their own way around. If you have been boned by your seniors, it doesnt give you the right to go about raising hell in the lives of poor kids who've come to the college.

Myth 5. Ragging prevents students from "mixing" together
If you are bent of boning new kids, you better not be allowed to get close to them. IF your intentions are indeed noble, time will allow for you to be respected and to engage in some fruitful friendships with the newbies.

Student who are involved in ragging are like vultures - you could see them hang around campus and attempt to harangue anyone and everyone who passes their way in the initial days of college. Law enforcement should be allowed inside colleges to curb with this menace. When kids know someone is watching their back, they can go ahead with the task of getting used to college life. Because ragging sure as hell isn't going to help them.

Anatomy of the 21st Century Indian Male

Respect Women - No Questions Asked...

In Michael Moore's Sicko - and very often in life they say the true character of a country can be judged by how it treats its weakest. To me it applies to how it treats its women as well. The more I find the oxymoron of Indians worshipping women dieities true, the more ugliness I find in the behavior of its men towards women. It's been a terribly sickening Saturday morning when I open a newspaper and all I find is violence against women, of such depravity, it nearly made me throw up.
Unfortunately, the way in which Indian men and women themselves treat the women of this country is downright disgusting. I find that this is not just systemic bias, but just like its caste system, its some sort of latent hatred towards women - which pours out in each and every activity men do - and each and everything they say to them - its down right patronizing tone and revolting undercurrents. I do not understand how you cannot do any value judgement of your significant others in life! This creeps through all strata of society - women with no economic independence and no say in the role of planning their family fall prey to the debauchery of men all over.
Its an endemic plague afflicting society, and I find this abuse is very strongly tied to the absence of economic and sexual freedom for women - The moment this happens and women have greater say in choosing who their partners are and when they are interested in family, it would lead to lesser of this abuse - but the scope for exploitation still exists - as long as we have a nation full of pimps - either in the family or outside of them.
There is no new reason I need to give for asking the men of this country to stop this brazen and disgusting violence and repression of women - What the Taliban did to the woman in SWAT is just a mirror of what happens in our country as well - there is real good scope to give women the freedom they deserve in making decisions and of course they will make mistakes - but then who doesn't. We need special laws against this subjugation of 1/2 of our country, and unless we do, forget super power status - we won't respect ourselves as a nation.
It needs a serious change of attitude of the lot. Easier said than done!

Goody Two Shoes

Well.. after a fairly short and not-so-protracted battle against cervical cancer, Jade Goody, aka racist foul-mouth white-trash wench, has finally kicked the bucket at the ripe age of 27, and leaves behind two little sons. Sad part that..
Jade's cruel twist of fate, and Shilpa Shetty's rising stars are so in the opposite worlds that any one who believes in astrology cannot but wonder how two totally different people from separate continents, have such reversals of fortune, that its sickening.
Of course both are camera-grabbing, sound-byte giving, over-the-top acting attention whores, and their apparent lack of talents are overshadowed by the fact that people are willing to give in to any sloppy fight between two grown women on the telly.
Jade's wedding a month before her death, serves us to remind that gold diggers reside on both side of the gender fence. She made over a million pounds in selling the rights to her wedding, and the rights from all her interviews, her two books [two books by age 27? I can't even write a single chapter!] had made her rich.. And a newly wedded grieving widower who is most likely going to hit the dating circuit in the coming days. Watch out english women! Here come the husband of the english patient..
God knows what is Jade's gift to this planet - she lead a life in below average surroundings, held mediocre jobs, and the Big Brother riff gave her the status of a rockstar. Even suburban middle class Indian men know "Jade Gooooody", if only her claim to fame were a supposed "racist rant" against "poppadum Shetty" - who the fu$# uses the work "Poppadum" anyway - I always thought it was "Lijjat Paapad" or the more tamil-ized "Appalaam" mmmm tasty.
Jade didn't die soon enough - her fight laster almost 6 days more than what was expected. That gave TV channels 6 more days of banal reporting. Bye-bye Miss Not-so-Goody Two Shoes.. RIP..

Womens' Day

Another western concept tries to find its niche here in India. First it was hallmark's Valentine's day, then it was what - Father's day, Mother's day - ever wonder why the American's don't have children's day or teacher's day celebrated - it is because of the American value system which places selfishness above knowledge, which is in line with the Judeo Christian philosophy of "save they souls or go to hell" dogma. This has very little to do with the hooliganism unleashed by the Sri Ram Sene, because irrespective of their professed religious ideology, I simply treat their behavior as a law and order problem, and little or nothing to do with scoring political brownie points and should be deal with as such. Child-brides, dowry deaths, human trafficking, no access to health-care might be problems their urban sisters are blithely unaware of while they hit the pubs, and party the night away.
What ever happened to women helping women? That is utterly and sorely missing. The greatest impediment to the success of women is not just their male counterparts - but women themselves. Men by very nature are competitive and will attempt to out do each other, while it is in the nature of women to be more co-operative. The discrimination against the gender filters through all class barriers, as indicated by the sex ratio in the state of Chandigarh/Punjab stands to be among the lowest.
Women don't need pink chaddis and pub bharo andolans - you can drink to it once you are done emancipating your sisters. Cheap gimmickry gets you media attention and more molestors, not the respect of your uncouth opponents.

American Idol 2009

American Idol has a reasonable fan following with me. English music, and the American dream and the American fakeness is all too alluring for me. There is a desi contestant too, and boy I think he can sing : Anoop Desai, I want to see your brown skin go through to the top 24 atleast and take it from there.
I did hear some good voices this year, but the years that caught my ears the most were in 2008 and 2006. I didn't like the year 2007 where Jordin Sparks came up trumps, I didn't see any really good voices. Not a lot of folks remember the also-rans from earlier rans as they did from 2006 and 2008, and it was painful to see some of them get kicked out.
Here's to Anoop Dogg, and to see some real competitors emerge from the 9th season.

Expert Commentary my ass..

The current India-SL series is a big yawwwnnn.. Any series with Sri-Lanka evokes as much excitement as seeing Hillary Clinton in her birthday suit. Honestly, what was the BCCI thinking - SL is easily the most boring side in the world to watch, Ajantha Mendis apart their brand of cricket can be described as gully cricket at best. Jayasuriya has been playing since I was in my diapers, when the hell is he going to retire?
Oh wait, I digress.. Has anyone seen an ass disguise himself as an expert commentator - called Dilip Vengsarkar - the man cant string two lines in English - if you can't just say it in Marathi you idiot. His glib quotes were : "we took wickets and they lost wickets and... we won.. which is a good result for us" I was goot Woooooot the FuC#@@#$#@@$#!!!! This guy was writing in TOI probably a decade or so ago, I recall him write in Mid-Day when I was in Mumbai. Fricking moron. Javagal Srinath is no better. These cliche toting dumbasses who had the privelege of playing for India just because there was no other talent simply meant that we are now saddled with such cliche ridden idiots on the telly..
Meanwhile I just see Ishant outfox the Lankan Ravan sena - and its now 7 in a row - Looking forward to the New Zealand tour though. Time to get roll over the Lankans 5-0 and demoralize their ass - getting all cocky after beating the LTTE are we?

Responsibility - its more than a word

The Satyam ex-CFO Vada-curry Vadalamani professed ignorance with the book doctoring charges and claimed he "blindly signed" what he was given by the brother Messers Chor and Lutera Raju.
Wow - that is the world's worst defense. People kill to get to the CFO position, I know I would - and all you can coolly tell us, after a few Enrons, Worltels that you never saw an excel sheet? Sir, you are get paid for what, may I ask? Sit on your black ass and play Solitaire, while your employees work 25 hr days, while you bill client like World Bank for 26? Tsk tsk, "responsibility" isn't just an non-andhra word, Mr-ex-CFO, it means you take charge for what you do, and you say - It happened under my watch, and what I did was unpardonable, now punish me.
If your employees used that defense you wouldn't get any of your projects done - "I dont know who wrote this code, I just compile it". You and your andhra-money-grabbing ilk make me sick. Go to hell, all 3 of you, you brought all of Indian IT down with your money grabbing filthy hands... I hope you feel the pain of every investor each night you try to sleep you filthy animals...